DISINHERITED-----TWICE!!!!

anewme

I am feeling so low and beaten down today I can hardly talk or move. My eyes are swollen from crying.
Normally you save this kind of emotion for when someone has died. But embarrassingly my tears are over money.
When I was only 17 the witnesses got a hold of me and recruited me into their organization.
When my father found out he reacted like they told me he would. He violently opposed and threw me out into the dark night at 18 years old.

I spent the next 35 years cloistered inside the witness community.

When my father was dying he specifically mentioned in his will that he was very displeased with my being a witness and that if it was found I ever gave a dime to the Watchtower Society I would be completely disinherited.

So I never did donate again to the society for fear of losing money my brother gave me from my father's estate, the only money I ever had.

Even though I am no longer a JW now 6 years and have divorced from my JW family, she still feels anyone who is so foolish to join that stupid cult must not be responsible to manage a small fortune.
She is willing my inheritance into a trust and made my brother the managing trustee.

I will never be allowed to buy a home with it according to my brother. (this kills me because I have been talking with my brother over the course of a year about my desire to someday own my own home) When I need something I must ask my brother for it for the rest of my life. He was furious and at first did not want the position until he read the perks of the trustee position. Now he is interested in managing my trust. It will be lucrative for him to do so it seems.

and believing that stupid Russell and his cronies that they were chosen by God to be his modern day slave!
They played on my humble spirit and made me into their slave for 35 years. They encouraged me to turn my back and dissassociate from my fleshly relatives and ignore their birthdays and holidays and get togethers saying it pleased Jesus and Jehovah somehow. Now that I am free from that spiritual prison I am still punished by the world for being so stupid and gullible to join that awful anti-social religion in the first place. I have been out for 6 years and enjoyed renewed association with my fleshly relatives---I thought. But yesterday my own brother told me my aunt thinks I am an "idiot". When I called her to speak with her she hung up the phone on me! My 93year old aunt hung up on me while saying " Have a nice life"

It was devastating. She might as well have shot me with a rifle through the heart. The rejection was such a blow. I have only known rejection,loneliness and unhappiness all my life it feels.

From an alcoholic mother, from being a fat teen, from joining the JWs and from marrying a very selfish handicap JW man for 20 years. Actually, the last six years post df have been the most peaceful in my entire life.

The fleshly family is more or less gone as is my JW family. I now surround myself with people who care for me and love me and value me and wish the best for me.

I know I know what you are thinking......at least they left you something even if it is in a trust.
This is true and I am grateful. But I am also really depressed and trying to recover today from the assaults yesterday.

I now see that you should make your own money in this world and not rely on others to gift you your money and happiness. Make your own fortune and no one can take it away from you.

Go to college and get a career. Choose something and if it doesnt work out, try something else. But develop some skills and be productive in this world.

Anewme

free2think

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Im sorry.

ex-nj-jw

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nj

changeling

Take elements of your post and compose a letter to your aunt. Spell out to her how you have learned your lesson at great expense. Let her know that by humiliating you in such a way she is compounding the damage the WTS has inflicted on you. Ask her sincerly for a chance to prove yourself.

Good luck,

changeling

Paralipomenon

I am curious as to how it will be lucrative to your brother to manage your trust. Does he get a stipend out of it for his involvement, or expenses covered?

Either way, what a blow to your ego. My condolences.

Warlock

anewme,

I'm really sorry for you.

Warlock

Lady Liberty

Dear Ane..

(((HUGS))) I am sorry you are going through this all over again. Hang in there!!

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

Mary

Sorry, double post.

Mum

I'm very sorry about your situation. We never know what the residual effects of our unfortunate choices will be.

That having been said, I don't see your tears as being about money so much as the deep hurt and rejection you have suffered. When I left the JW's, my family behaved as if I had never been an idiot.

As far as buying a home, there may be other ways. Check with a bank or mortgage lender to get pre-qualified for a loan amount. Check with your county recorder (not those online you-have-to-pay-for-info charlatans) about foreclosure homes in your area which can be bought for far less money than full price. Ask your brother to advance you some money for a down payment and repay it from the trust (no penalty for just asking). Put away as much money as you can to save toward a down payment as well. I bought a condo a few years ago by qualifying for a low interest loan and reduced down payment through a federal program of some kind.

Don't give up. Find out where the back door is when the front door is locked. I'm sure most of the posters on this board would love to see you succeed against the odds. "Living well is the best revenge."

Wishing you a better day,

SandraC

bebu

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So much pain on both sides! I can imagine the hurt of your family after losing you for so much of your life. I can understand the depth of the pain they dealt with: they missed you so much, they became hard and cynical so as to quit hurting. If they consider themselves Christians of any sort, then this natural response really was indefensible.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will obtain mercy.

(...And those who don't show mercy could be receiving what they dished out, e.g.: "Have a nice life ... *click*")

I would that your aunt could relent and forgive you. What a wonderful gift that would be to you! Forgiveness is a gift paid by accepting pain; 35 years of pain is hard for her to accept. I pray God will convict her for her ugly words to you. And I pray God gives you grace for overcoming this response, that you can somehow forgive her.

About the trust fund... Using financial advice from a large variety of sources, perhaps you could present to your brother a detailed argument showing why a particular investment (eg, a mortgage) would be considered a VERY wise financial investment, growing in value. It would be very difficult for him to deny you if you have present a water-tight case. It's possible he will soften over time.

(If your brother considers himself a Christian, remind him of the prostitute who washed Jesus' feet with her hair. She came humbly, completely unable to undo her sinful history; and she received mercy, not judgement, from Christ.)

Again, anewme, I really am sorry for the sorrow you are having right now.

(((HUGS)))

bebu

DISINHERITED-----TWICE!!!!

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