Caught Wife Cheating (page 6)

Scully

After all the criticism of the disfellowshipping procedure on this board, why are some on this thread so eager to have this woman disfellowshipped?
Is disfellowshipping just after all?
Or is this woman undeserving of justice?

According to her chosen belief system, that is the sort of justice she believes in. Why should she be exempt from that form of justice if she's made the choice to embrace that belief system?

All we're saying is that she should suck it up and accept the consequences of her actions that her belief system will mete out, and follow the rules of her belief system. At least then she'll be doing what she believes is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter that the rest of us believe DFing is appalling and a violation of human rights. JWs believe it's perfectly OK to DF other JWs who don't follow JW rules.

Unless, of course, you think it's perfectly OK for her to be an adulteress and a hypocrite.

fullofdoubtnow

(((((roflcopter)))))

I am so sorry to hear this. I agree with other posters, it may be time to cut your losses and move on.

AWAKE&WATCHING

YOU ARE ONLY 24! Really, 2.5 years is nothing,I don't mean to sound callous. Been there - done that. Cheaters never change. In another 2.5 years it'll be 5 years you've invested and it probably won't be any better. RUN LIKE THE WIND and don't look back. I wasted my 20's on a cheater. Now I've wasted my 30's and 40's on my second husband who has never really been able to commit to our relationship even though he doesn't appear to be cheating. And almost 30 years on the CULT. Don't waste anymore of your life.

FreedomFrog

I want to leave, but at the same time I have no support group, this woman has forced me to burn so many bridges in my life. I really have no where to go really. So that is the only thing I have to ponder on really now, is what do I do from there. It's not as easy as saying "pick yourself up son and start over." oooh noo, there is way more work involved than that. /roflcopter

I so understand where you're coming from.

I'm going to PM you in a moment.

BizzyBee

After all the criticism of the disfellowshipping procedure on this board, why are some on this thread so eager to have this woman disfellowshipped?
Is disfellowshipping just after all?

SBF: Disfellowshipping is a cruel, infantile and ridiculous practice that would cease immediately if all JW's would simply refuse to cooperate with it.

Aside from that, in this particular instance, it might serve the purpose of getting to the cheating wife's real intentions. Smoke her out, so to speak. If ROTFL chooses to stay with her, it would be helpful to him to understand just how remorseful she is and how far she is willing to go to demonstrate it.

Personally, I'd just leave, but life is not always so simple, as young ROTFL points out.

FreedomFrog

If ROTFL chooses to stay with her, it would be helpful to him to understand just how remorseful she is and how far she is willing to go to demonstrate it.

This is true...but no matter how "remorseful" they can seem at the time doesn't mean that it wouldn't happen again years down the road.

As a wife that did forgive...guess what...4 years later I'm now single with no support no family...I probably just stepped on some toes here saying that but rofl needs to understand that he may end up being single anyway 5,10,15 years later and still in that position.

rofl, you learn to trust in yourself...you learn how to (even though it's tough) go on. You become a survivor.

Jim_TX

"I have no support group, this woman has forced me to burn so many bridges in my life. I really have no where to go really. So that is the only thing I have to ponder on really now, is what do I do from there. It's not as easy as saying "pick yourself up son and start over." oooh noo, there is way more work involved than that. "

Sheesh! It ain't that difficult. Other people do it - who are NOT JWs... you can too. Probably a mistake that you are making - and causing you to fret so, is your calling it... 'starting over'. You aren't starting over - you're moving on.

As for needing a 'support group'... you can start working on that one... there are many people out there that are more than willing to help. The JWs call them 'worldly'... but they're the best people you will ever meet.

Good Luck.

Regards,

Jim TX

BizzyBee

FreedomFroggy -

Absolutely agree!

Another point about justice: A cheater may deserve another chance - but the cheated-upon may not deserve the cost of having to give it to them.

OnTheWayOut

you could cause her a bunch of trouble with the Elders and ruin her position in Jehovah's organization which she covets so much.

I am not a vengeful person. I give my spouse complete trust with no room for forgiveness. I would leave after that
trust is violated.

As far as causing her trouble with the congregation, I am in agreement for completely opposite reasons.
Nobody deserves to be under the impression that JW's are in God's organization. You would be doing her a favor
to tell the elders that you offered to work it out if she quit her job. She refused and it's too late now. You would
push them into DF'ing her, then she can thank you years later for freeing her. If she goes back, then that's too
bad for her. Walk away and enjoy your peace and freedom.

bluesbreaker59

Dude, we're about the same age, trust me, MOVE ON, and just like freedom frog said, you MUST, MUST, MUST:

1. Learn to trust yourself only

2. Move on, and make a new life - seperate from mind control, cheaters and liars

Its VERY HARD to do all this, severe ties with your ex and her family, and maybe even friends you have in the borg. I had my support group, until I was scripturally UN-free for a year and a half, and decided enough was enough and began dating. It was really hard to lose my family, but looking back it was also another good decision in LIFE, to trust more in myself and MY abilities, that I CAN DO things for myself. I DON'T NEED people telling me how to live, who to talk to, and not to date. Having the freedom to do whatever you want, and have REAL FRIENDS is the best feeling in the world. Come on, you're saying as a young single male you can't make friends? Find women? Pursue whatever "floats your boat"? C'mon...

Caught Wife Cheating

Share this