Back to the topic - I am in love with a JW

by LindaLu 37 Replies latest social relationships

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  aligot ripounsous

  Hei, Lindalu and Fiveangels

  I too am a bit suspicious about the genuineness of you posts, still I take a chance and add this bit : I think that if a JW takes interest in a non JW, it may mean that he (she) is seeking to widen his(her) scope in life, sort of call for air, which a priori is an encouraging clue as to his (her) mindset. If it is the case, It's up to you to bring the appropriate response, depending on your ability and willingness to handle the situation. Remember, too, that deep inside the average JW is reluctent to trust someone outside the congregation, unless the latter can give evidence that there's no ground for. It has been written above that you must have an exchange of thoughts about your beliefs, I too find that it's quite important, if only to see how you both can communicate on personal matters and weigh what will be implied if the relationship goes on. Good luck, I won't advise to be quick at running away...
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  Shawn10538

  Read all the books by ex Witnesses you can. Combatting Cult Mind Control, Crisis of Coscience, Who Wrote the Bible by Friedman, Myths of the Bible in Other Religions by Doane, Apocalypse Delayed, Orwellian World of Jehovah's Witnesses.
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  Shawn10538

  Make sure he is willing to read books by exWitnesses. If he is not, would you want to be with someone who exhibits such foreclosure and close-mindedness in the area of his beliefs. Make sure you have good defenses practiced ahead of time for your own beliefs. Know how to defend your beliefs. JWs can be tricky, but if you are familiar with all the types of logical fallacies then you should be alright.
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  jgnat

  A very committed JW will have to choose between you and his religion. I'm wondering how a very committed JW managed to get involved in you in the first place. Whether you are involved or not may be taken entirely out of your hands. So I agree with this advice:

  nvrgnbk: instead of walking away from someone you obviously care for a great deal, have a very sincere conversation with him about his beliefs.

  Fiveangels: Ialso am in love with a very committed JW and he says he will always love me,now he says he can't see me any more because he is servicing and doesn't want to get caught being with me-it hurts so muchI don't want to lose him and don't know what to do. please help

  For both of you, you are acting as if this is entirely your decision. When a partner chooses a vocation or a passion above a relationship, you must respect that. What if your loved-ones decided to become full-time bungee jumpers or go on a solo trip around the world in a boat with no paddles? If that is their dream, you have to let them go, no matter how wonderful they are. Even if it means heartache and loss for you.

  Also, it's a bad idea to join in to the religion in order to keep the man. The religion is more like a spare bedroom partner than a part-time hobby. It will eat up your lives.
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  luffy

  I was in exactly the same position as you, infact I ended an unhappy marriage in order to be with a man, who after my divorce decided to convert and become a JW.

  As I have already mentioned in earlier postings, he was the love of my life, and in the same way as you have stated, was the most sweet and caring man...who could not fall head of heels for someone like that?

  I can only speak from my experience, but my advise is to get out and move on, however painful(and believe me I know the heartache involved) The longer it goes on, the harder it will be and the end result will be the same...more heartache for you.

  As I have mentioned in another thread, many JWS seems to want their cake and eat it. We, the "wordly" are in their eyes inferior to them most of the time, except when they are feeling that their lives need a little refreshing and a change from the hum drum..do not allow him to use you as that "refreshment" as I mentioned earlier, do not become the pawn.

  Its hard but possible!!!
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  ErinGrey

  Hi my name is Erin and i would like to date a Jehovah Witness how did you go about finding one? Or do you know of any who are single? May i get your help and input. I am looking for a guy who is 21-25 yeard old, 5'5-6'0 tall, healthy, Caucasin or indian. And i am 20 years old, Caucasin, 5'4 and average weight.
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  jgnat

  Ummm, why would you pick a Jehovah's Witness ON PURPOSE? They are easy enough to find. Start attending a Kingdom Hall.

  Be warned, they're harder to catch. Can you sit through mind-numbing bible studies for a couple years, and convert?
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  Cherish

  My advice is to get out before he stomps all over your heart. Ive very recently been through a similar experience with a JW. The whole affair has lasted some 10 months. At first it was fairly innocent (just hugging and kissing) but more recently he had told me he had been having fantasies about me and couldnt get me off his mind. One night he call me up at 10:30pm and asked to come round. Hed been out drinking and was worst for wear (he tends to tread the fine line in lots of ways) and we ended up having oral sex (I hasten to add prior to this he had told me he was thinking of getting out of the organisation). almost as soon as it happened he was awash with guilt and telling me he would have to tell the elders about it, which he did. two days later he sent me a very cold message on myspace saying he could not see me anymore and he wanted to live a life that pleased Jehovah. Im now really quite heartbroken that this man I have know for 10 years altogether has just cut me out of his life in a heart beat. I suspect that 99.99% of all other similar relationships would be doomed. Maybe Im being too harsh as Im still hurting real bad.
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  LindaLu

  Hi Everyone... Thank you so much for the advice and support you all showed!! Drama here is still going - but seems that is not much I can do about the relationship... it hursts... but each day I see how right you all are!!! It is just so hard to put an end to it though! :(
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  LeslieV

  First welcome.

  I understand it is difficult to turn your feelings off, but thank your lucky stars you can hurt for alittle while then go on with your life, compared to a life of pain with a JW.

  Leslie