It's my party - Should we invite them?

by Nellie 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  Nellie

  I've got extended family that live out of state who are active witnesses and my husband's father is an elder. My family is so not a part of our lives, that the only time we speak are for funerals. I don't even hear about births anymore. The last family get-together was my mother's funeral almost 3 years ago. And my father-in-law isn't much better. We talk to him maybe 4 times a year.

  So now we're having our 25th Anniversary party and my sister wants me to invite them. I'm worried about if they come, them finding out and feeling the need to "counsel" us. So, not what I want to deal with at my party.
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  Outaservice

  Personally, I would not invite them, but as you say, "It's your party"!

  Outaservice (can I come?)
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  blondie

  Are you inviting them:

  1) Because you think they might come

  or

  2) Because you are pretty sure they won't come but you don't want to put yourself in their class of not inviting you to their "dos"?

  Second consideration, if some came would others make their life miserable because of it?

  Third consideration, if some came would they be a wet blanket making it no fun for all the other people you will invite.

  I would send them a nice card announcing the achievement.

  Blondie (I'm not inviting them to my funeral; sort of says how I feel and yes you can have a private funeral by invitation only...I have a non-JW friend who has the cojones to do it)
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  Elsewhere

  If any of my biological family expressed an interest in being in my life, I would allow them... on the condition they don't bring up any of their Jehover BS.

  I will make sure they understand that they are not allowed to mention anything about their religion or they will be immediately escorted to the door.

  If they don't think that's fare... I'll just remind them that opposing views are not allowed in JW households or Kingdom Halls.
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  kristyann

  Nellie, I'm kinda torn on this one. You're going to have to listen to your heart and what you know deep down is best. Personally, I don't think that I would invite them because I don't think I'd be able to handle the stress and the worries that might come with it. However, I'd like to say that it would be a good idea to do, because it's perhaps the right thing to, and you're doing what's right and good and kind and extending an invitation even if they don't. I don't know! It's your call.
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  Madame Quixote

  My personal decision in this regard now is that people who don't play an active role in my day-to-day, regular activities, and who show little or no interest in my personal life - either family or old friends - probably aren't interested in my parties (or my funeral either), and don't deserve an invite.

  That's how we handled my daughter's recent birthday and it worked out great. I have no regrets, and based on what you've said, you probably won't either, if you just invite people who are currently active in your life and who make just as much effort to be in touch with you as you do with them. Have fun, honey!
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  uwishufish

  Yes invite them! The more the merrier. Make it RSVP just to them so you can have some lines handy.Like ; Has wisdom not accompanied your age as to know how to mind your manners in the home of your host?

  Then say; I hope this is a word to the wise.

  You could also let it be known that gifts are welcomed.

  Then again you could be underestimating them and their behavior may be appropraite.
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  mama1119

  I wouldn't if they are going to bring the party down. Are of the uptight calss or can the be okay at a party?? Some of them like to let loose when they have a chance away from the others watchful eye. At least get a present from them
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  sass_my_frass

  If they're not invited, will they even know? How many anniversary parties of theirs have you not been invited to over the years? I wouldn't validate any place in your life for them, they don't deserve to think that they're important to you.
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  evetteto

  HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!