The 613 Laws of JW's

by avidbiblereader 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • becca1
    becca1

    Care bears and My Little Pony!!! Oh no, my daughter had those!!!

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    "Care Bears and My Little Pony, because both lived in the clouds. Only angels and God live in the clouds." an overzealous elder once said.

  • 2dothebest
    2dothebest

    To make the list a little shorter for everyone. you don't want to do anything that you would not want Jesus and God to do with you.

  • 2dothebest
    2dothebest

    I think Jesus would enjoy a game of football or too. It just to get addicted to what you enjoy doing that is looked down upon. I love football, but I;m not to the point that I need a shrine in my house as a temple of worship to my favorite team. Sounds crazy, but I've seem it done.

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Don't wish anyone "good luck".

    I remember being counselled about wishing someone good luck when I was an unbaptised publisher. I hardly used the word after that until I left the org, and always felt guilty about saying it when I did, hoping none of my bros and sisters had heard me.

  • Jourles
    Jourles
    Cannot say oh my god

    Back in 2000 when we toured bethel, we were in the lobby of one of the Brooklyn buildings waiting for the tour. As I was looking around, I caught sight of a few of my best friends while growing up in SoCal(Alpine). I froze and yelled out pretty loud, "OH....MY....GOD!" Everyone in the lobby turned and faced me including my friends. No one said anything about it, but I thought it was pretty funny considering we're not supposed to say that phrase and here I was in Jah's house blurting it out.

  • avidbiblereader
    avidbiblereader

    Have to be DF'd for one year

    Must write letter for reinstatement

    Pioneer, Publisher, Approved Associate, Bethelite, CO, DO, Governing Body Member and all the quailifications that goes with these terms

    Cant comment when first reinstated, cant give talks or parts on meeting when first reinstated

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    Can't say "Human Being" because the only "being" is Jehovah. (whatever the heck that means).

    Can't say "Lucky" because that is worshipping the "God of Good Luck". Inexplicably, "Fortunate" is encouraged as an alternate expression.

    Can't have a tie wider than about 2 1/2 inches nor narrower than 1 1/4 inch. It must not be in a gaudy color or pattern.

    Can't have a two-door car (let alone a sports car in Red or Orange). The pioneer elder who thrashed me on this himself had a blue VW bug.

    Can't wear white belt or white shoes if you have a part on the stage. This makes you look like Benny Hinn or Jerry Falwell.

    Can't go out in field service (even a bible study) unless you are dressed in suit and tie like an IBM salesman.

    Can't study Watchtower articles which are older than about 20 years or so.

    __________

    You don't know how lucky you are, living in the USSR...

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    Has anybody been told they can't eat Lucky Charms cereal? With all the posts that mention saying "good luck" and the sort, I am surprised that has not happened. Around here it was viewed as just another breakfast cereal with too much sugar.

  • J-ex-W
    J-ex-W

    LMAO about the supposedly demonic smurf running down the KH aisle!!! I have never heard of that.....What kind of organization had I gotten myself into?!!! LOL

    Ya know, one thing I've noticed in reading this thread is that a number of rules listed have morphed/ changed over time--eg., 'brothers can't wear colored shirts' used to be true, but now even JW's smirk at the fact that they were ever made to wear white shirts only. And of course, they consider the fact that rules like this get lifted from time to time to be evidence that Jehovah is keeping one man from having too much authority ('cause one person makes it and later someone else changes it).

    Let's see...how about the fact that there are such an ENDLESS STREAM of these rules that lifting one or two only removes a drop from the bucket and still leaves the congregation deluged and ALL WET!!!

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