A big thank you to those who created this board and for all the amazing people who post here.
Truth be told (no pun intended) I have seen other religious boards out there but never felt compelled to join since I didn't feel qualified to speak one way or the other regarding their beliefs. this board is another story. I was raised as a witness but never thought so many people all over the world had a similiar past as I did. I slowly faded over the years since it seems the easiest to keep in touch with the family who are still witnesses but I have always had a yearning to speak to those who have left. I am surprised at so many of you who left sooo long ago yet still want to talk about your involvement with the WTS. I guess that says something about the scares that were left behind.
I certainly don't want to come across as sour grapes as not everything about my upbringing was terrible. I am curious by nature, so I am grateful for my religion in the sense it kept me out of trouble with the law and I never experienced drug use. growing up in the sixties and seventies, the circuit/district assemblies were great fun although I must admit now they were more of a social event rather than the intended "spiritual tune up" I always had my doubts about what I was being taught and found myself with more questions than satisfying answers. but like so many of us, it was all I knew so I plodded on.
it wasn't until I was on my own that the fading began. looking back now, the independence from my parents watchful eye was all I needed to finally LIVE. I experienced public reproof and being disfellowshipped but kept coming back probably more for my families sake rather than remorse or missing the grind of being a JW. but it was two seperate situations that finally caused me to back away ( I chose this I.D as it reminds me how I walked away backwards still watching those I didn't respect or trust any longer ) once while inactive, there was a knock at my door. I lived at the time in a gated community with a call box, so I expected to see one of my neighbors. NOPE! there in front of me was two witnesses I have known forever and one of them I practically raised. first thing out of my mouth wasn't hello but how did you get in AND why didn't you call me at the gate? their response was, " we followed another car in" I reminded them this was trespassing yet not even a flinch. they immediately said that they were stopping by to see how I was, that was nice right? well.. I would of really appreciated their visit if it wasn't that they both were in suits. I thanked them for stopping by but told them my true friends would of come over casually and not while they were " counting time " that visit said alot about the brainwashing and the empty visits witnesses make only when it benefits them or its official. the second time was recent when my sister was having a difficult surgery, life or death really. my brother in law who isn't a witness had to deal with my family trying to convince him not to allow her blood. without it, no way she would survive. he went thru absolute hell and finally, secretly, had to take my sister to another hospital so she could have her surgery without anyone knowing the details. even though he knew I supported him, he wanted to go thru this alone. we all found out after the fact and rather than loving concern, all he heard was, " you let take blood, didn't you! " what I have seen since cemented my feeling about the decision I made to leave that awful religion. I'll tell you all, admitting how I was raised was wrong was THE hardest thing I have ever had to come to terms with.
I have a loving wife and great children and I have told them that however they chose to believe or not in God is their business and no one and I mean no one should believe anything solely because its all they know. I have reminded them that how a person believes often times has more to do with who their parents were and what Country they were born in than any personal journey they have taken.I have said, it should be a personal decision and when you are ready know that regardless, I love and support their "free will". it's a shame my parent's still don't yet their parents did when they converted to JW's in the 1950's.
Again I just wanted to say it's great to feel that I'm not alone and you know what else is great? I still to this day, don't like those who don't understand what is like to be a JW tell jokes or put them down, but this board already feels like family so it's OK, it's like, you can talk about your family but don't like when others do...
I am a Lurker no more ( I hate that term because it sounds more sinister than what I was doing)
