Another PMS Joke

by Mystla 16 Replies latest social humour

  • Mystla
    Mystla

    Why do they call it PMS?

    'Cause Mad Cow was already taken!

    I just saw the movie "prairie home companion" and this joke was in it.. cracked me up! (the rest of the movie was pretty good, too!)

    Misty

  • ania
    ania

    Hi Mystla-i have a T.shirt that say's: i suffer from PMS...Putting Up With Mens S**t i like it (even tho i don't have a man in my life) i only wear it some times but it alway's gets a comment or two from my male friends (he he)

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Why does it take three women with PMS to change a light-bulb?

    BECAUSE IT DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ian

  • daystar
    daystar

    How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    One. ONE!!!

    And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT.

    They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the lightbulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

    But if they did, by some miracle, find the lightbulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID lightbulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE.

    THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS!!!

    That's how many...

  • daystar
    daystar

    The Female Rules

    1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

    2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

    3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

    4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

    5. The Female is never wrong.

    6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

    7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

    8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

    9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

    10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

    11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

    12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

    13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

    14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

    15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

    16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

    17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

    (Just for the record, I don't play by the rules... )

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974
    And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT.

    They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the lightbulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

    But if they did, by some miracle, find the lightbulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID lightbulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE.

    THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS!!!

    Hillarious!

    DB74

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Daystar,

    I'm laughing here - but can't make out your gender. You post like a woman, but your sign is male. What are you?

    Ian - Happy to be PMS-free

  • daystar
    daystar

    Dansk

    You post like a woman, but your sign is male. What are you?

    LOL! Gee, thanks. Around here, them's fightin' words.

    I'm a guy. At least last time I checked. But since I can't seem to make decisions or figure out things for myself, I'd have to check with Brigid on that.

    (Really, no offense taken brother.)

  • juni
    juni

    Ian said:

    Daystar,

    I'm laughing here - but can't make out your gender. You post like a woman, but your sign is male. What are you?

    Ian - Happy to be PMS-free

    I believe daystar means he doesn't follow those rules on the receiving end. He's a male me thinks!

    I'm so happy also Ian that you are pms free. It's a bitch to go through. lol

    Take care guy.

    Love,

    Juni

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Hi Daystar (((((((((((((((Brother))))))))))))

    I actually made my post after your lightbulb post - only to find that you'd made another two posts in between!

    As Gary said, the lightbulb post was hilarious, which is why I thought you might be female - but The Rules changed that perception! LOL!

    Great posts!!

    Thank you ((((((((((Juni))))))))))))),

    Ian 100% male

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