Finding Love with a Former Jehovah's Witness

by The wanderer 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • The wanderer
    The wanderer
    Finding Love with a Former Jehovah's Witness

    Often times, I thought to myself whether or not it
    would prove to be an advantage or a disadvantage
    dating a former Jehovah's Witness.

    Advantage or Disadvantage?

    On the one hand, because there would be some
    common ground, I could see it as an advantage.
    Maybe, some of the sound moral guide lines
    that were taught are still adhered to for instance.

    On the other hand, you may be receiving an in-
    dividual with a lot of "baggage", or an individual
    who is considered "damaged goods."

    What are your thoughts?

    What are your thoughts regarding this subject?

    • Would you consider dating a former Witness?
    • Do you actively seek out former Witnesses?


    Please add your commentary so that we can
    all learn more about this discussion.

    Respectfully,

    The Wanderer

  • lonelysheep
  • Would you consider dating a former Witness?
    Yes.
  • Do you actively seek out former Witnesses?
    No.
  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Would you consider dating a former Witness?

    I live with a former jw, we are getting married next year, so yes, obviously

    Do you actively seek out former Witnesses?

    I enjoy being on this forum with other ex witnesses, and will be meeting some this weekend, so yes.

  • earthtone
    earthtone

    I would consider dating a former JW, but I would not actively seek one out.

    We all have baggage, so I would not care so much about that, but sometimes I have conversations on this board that are truly heartfelt and very spritually uplifting for me.

    My husband does not get why I need to be on here, or why I still cry when I think about all I have missed out on life by being ones of JW's. It because he does not get how destructive the religion is to your morale. How insignificant or horrible they(elders) try to make you feel. Even when I try to talk to him about it he still does not fully comprehend and I get a just get over it vibe from him. That's when I wish he was a former JW, I feel that he would understand me better. My first post here I cried and cried writing it, not really expecting anyone to reply and I was surprise when I bombard with such heartfelt respones. I could even get him to read it. So yeah I would date a former JW.

  • daystar
    daystar

    I don't have any idea to believe that ex-JWs have any more "baggage" than people who were never JWs. Since leaving fifteen years ago, I've dated all of one ex-JW. All the other women I've dated were not.

    I feel much more comfortable with the ex-JW I'm dating now than I ever did with any other women. She understands why I have deeply rooted, and stupid, problems remembering birthdays. She understands so much about me that no one else ever has. Maybe this has nothing to do with her being an ex-JW. But I think it does.

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    I wouldn't seek out an ex-JW, but I wouldn't avoid one either.

    I'd be more inclined to seek out an atheist than an ex-JW. More interested in what a person thinks now, than what they once thought.

    BTW, I've wanted to say it before, but your topics are so visually appealing! I look for them now, since I know they are going to be cool!

    Dave

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I would not rule out dating a former JW, but I'd be careful about it. It would be nice to have a partner who can relate to the baggage that comes with being an ex-jw. But there's also the danger of spending the rest of our lives continually rehashing all the JW crap. If I were to get in to a relationship, I would want it to assist in recovery, not hinder it.

    W

  • collegegirl21
    collegegirl21

    I would not be opposed to dating an Ex-Jw... personally I think it would be easier because they can understand what you've been through and they would never just brush it off. I am not seeking one out. If I meet one on here great.. if not great.

  • dido
    dido

    It would be an advantage dating a former witness, as they have got a lot in common with you, and have experienced being part of a cult, so everything doesn`t have to be explained, ie: the way in which you react to life .

    The moral issue is very valid, as i found that it is lacking with people in general these days.

    You can take on `baggage` with people from any walk of life, at least with the jw`s it is usually because of the religion that they have it, and can be empathised with.

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    We humans are broken crockery, all. We as individuals searching just need to find someone whose broken pieces fit well with our own, and then caulk the heck out of the cracks to make one relatively functioning vessel.

    Yes, exDubs have things to work out... but doesn't everyone. I found my gorgeous broken crock before I found the forum, and I'm pretty danged happy with our caulk job.

    The only concern I would have with an exDub is if they still feel that WTBTS is the chosen tribe of Israel, somehow. Ouch, I just made my own head hurt. Lots of walk-aways who still call it the TEEruth.

  • Share this

    Google+
    Pinterest
    Reddit