Is there any way I can just “cream skim” the “Truth”????

by HiddenQuestioner 41 Replies latest jw friends

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  moshe

  
  Reality? - Seriously,you have been in a cult-like , mind controlling religion and if your family doesn't see the new light it could get ugly. If you fail to exit carefully, your family will turn on you at some point and you could out on the street with just a cardboard box full of your things- oh, and a Sheriff's restraining order to stay away from your house. Sorry to break the bad news, but it won't be easy to leave without getting hurt in the process. If you don't mind letting the elders take over your headship of the family, then try and do a slow fade- the "ol, I'm depressed routine. Watch for your wife's readiness to leave,too. Have fun with the family, do new things. Make the KH a boring place for them .

  - Now you have knowlege- Pandora's box has been opened and there is no going back. Been there, had the worst happen and survived to start a new and wonderfull life. Good Luck.

  Moshe
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  HiddenQuestioner

  Thank you so much for all the responses. Keep it coming!!! Some of this was very amusing - the way things were said - and I need to see some amusement in all of this or I'll go crazy. So, thanks for that also.

  Also, I think I may have hit some nerves, which is good - I need all the feedback I can get. Like what was said, I've got a lot to digest. So let me sleep on this and I will get back to you.

  BTW, I do not have children.
• 

  Farkel

  You idiot,

  You said you only had two choices:

  : 1.) Stay in the religion and keep my marriage or 2) Leave both the religion and the marriage.

  You forgot the most important option: 3) get out of the religion and save the rest of the LIFE YOU HAVE LEFT.

  I AM on your side. You are not thinking on all cylinders, dummy.

  Farkel, mean as snakes CLASS
• 

  Frannie Banannie

  Given that past serious injustices as a JW justifiably “stumbled me” (these alone caused me to find it necessary to search for answers from JWD),

  Hidden Questioner, how did your wife feel about those serious injustices? Wasn't she stumbled, too? If not, why not?

  1. I will attend meetings only for my spiritual nourishment, worship of God and fellowship and not out of guilt, loyalty to an organization or need to learn how to save others. This will mean going to meetings if and when I want to and not because I have to.

  Spiritual nourishment, HQ? What type of spirit are they nourishing? One of fear? One of judgment of one's fellows? Going to meetings not because you have to? But isn't it your desire to save your marriage? Isn't continuing to go to the meetings merely to save that marriage? Don't you feel you have to attend meetings in order to preserve your marital bliss?

  not helping out, except with monetary contributions, which I can easily afford.

  How is that going to work out knowing you'll be funding the WTS' legal battles against victims of child molestation?

  2. I will enjoy my successful career and its rewards first and any enjoyment as a “brother” second. This will mean that I will plan to get all my self-esteem from my rewarding work. This will mean I will focus fisrt on my family/home, the work and then personal life and then lastly my life of being a “cream skimming” JW.

  You may well plan things this way, HQ, but the WTS will be eating away at your self-esteem, tearing you down more and more. And they'll use your family and "friends" to do it.

  In tandem with the above, I will seek and nurture my good and fun-to-be-with adult professional “worldly” friends to the exclusion of lesser friends I find in the “Truth”

  Great idea, HQ!! You'll need that. ummm.....How're you gonna hide those friendships from your wife? Nurturing friendships takes time.

  Now here’s the toughest part. To keep this “show” alive and keep my wife happy and not suspicious, I need to do Field Service. This is the part I detest the most, as I feel like such a hypocrite when I do go out. How about just 3 hours a month and only offer Bible encouragement and harmless invites to the public talk at the local church Kingdom Hall?

  Depends. Can you go out alone or report it as incidental witnessing? Or do you have to make an appearance in formal from-the-KH field service and pair up with someone else?

  6. Be a peace with God and myself by continuing to get closure on the past injustices inflicted on me while I was a devote JW.

  Yeah, HQ, but while you're being at peace with God and yourself, it's the other stuff that's gonna "eat yer lunch." How can you get closure on past injustices inflicted on you without confronting the perpetrators?

  Just some rhetorical questions to which you might wanna consider what the answers might be, HQ.

  Annnnd.....Welcome to JWD!!

  Frannie
• 

  Siddhashunyata

  If you explain it all to your wife she will be in a position to choose between you or a personal "religious crisis". She would have to be a woman of strong character to choose you. Strong character would solve everything, otherwise, from my experience, the marriage prognosis is... terminal, sooner or later.
• 

  EC

  You said you are willing to make your marriage work, but are you in love with your wife? I say this because if you get to the point where you decide to tell and try to get her to see it for herself then I would suggest you have a lot of love and support for her waiting. I know that leaving is plenty hard on the men here, but, you know, woman and men feel differently. Woman tend to be more emotional and wear their emotions openly. I truly feel that you, as a man and a husband, could do a great service to your wife by slowy "dripping" on her the real truth, BUT you would do an awful disservice to her if you are not willing to be there for her if and when she realizes it for herself. I can truly say it is the hardest thing, especially emotionally, that I have ever been through. I am not a cry baby, I consider myself to be a very strong woman, but I can tell you that I have broken down more over the last couple of months than I ever have in my life! My husband has been so supportive, but I know at times he is a little taken back because he has never seen me break like this. It is a very depressing time and without his unending support and his true unconditional love for me there is no way I would have made it. Everyone and everything I have ever known is in the walls of that Kingdom Hall including all of my family. Now, it is just me, him and our kids.....I thank God everyday I atleast have that!
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  Leolaia

  How about just 3 hours a month

  I think you can get by as an irregular publisher as well. Skip a few months, and then go out for a morning. The first few times, they will say they are concerned by your irregularity, but each time you go out they will really LOVE you, lol....
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  Star Moore

  Hey there. I believe in the end what God is going to look for is an honest heart. I don't even think he's going to really care about the title of organization, we are in. My mother taught me to always do what you think is right, religiously, and let the chips fall where they may. Living a lie, I believe could be a detriment in your relationship with the big guy.
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  TheListener

  HQ, I'm digesting your posts and hopefully will regurgitate a complete response in the near future.

  However, with respect to service time; you can not go out with the congregation and still turn in 3 hours. State that you have done some informal witnessesing at work or the gym or the store, wherever. The elders won't really care for it but they won't question you about it too much. Plus let's face it no elder is out every Saturday or Sunday - so they'd have to all talk together to find out you haven't shown up for one weekend field service meeting. They won't do that until your meeting attendance is almost nil.
• 

  rebel8

  As unpalatable as it may be to consider the concept of continuing to associate with dubs.... we all know ppl who did just that, don't we? IMO it may be possible. In my old cong there were tons of dubs who were considered weak and inactive, that showed up at mtgs when they felt like it. However, there is always the possibility it won't work. Plus you may get to the point where you want to do things (ie celebrate holidays) that are normal/morally upright but will get you DFd. If you're planning on sticking to your plan, it could work. I firmly believe in freedom of religion. As long as you are not in the clutches of a mind control cult and aren't encouraging anyone else to be, it's your choice, IMHO. However, I have to agree with Legolas! The WTS uses contributions to do evil. Monetary contributions are not required and won't gain you any points with the org since they are anonymous. If you feel a need to fool your wife into thinking you're contributing, tell her you're only giving cash and always "put it in the contribution box" when she's not looking. If she's going to notice the dollars in your bank account and wonder, then pick another worthy cause and donate it to them...such as Silent Lambs, AJWRB, Children's Miracle Network, etc., etc.