Helping a Family Cope with JW Mind Control.

by Winston 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Winston
    Winston

    Dear freinds,

    I have been asked by a concerned husband to speak to both his family and his wife family about JWs.

    His wife has been studying with the JWs for some months and he is very concerned. He read alot on the internet and knows they use mind control, and make false claims to be God's channel, but he cannot convince her of this. He's worried and is trying to help her not to get to caught up in this religion. The changes that she's already made from listening to the JWs has had some bad effects on their family's happiness.

    So he's arranged for a family meeting that his wife doesn't know about, most of the family on both sides are very concerned too.

    I was asked along with another ex-JW to speak to both families at a get together.

    Any words of caution or what literature may be good to pass out please feel free to offer advice.

    Many minds on this matter to me can only help.

    PS: You Know and Fred Hall excluded from this one(sorry guys).

    Former elder turned apostate (by WT definition)[:)}and proud of it!

  • Brutus
    Brutus

    "How would you feel if proof is given that what you believe is wrong? For example, say that you were in a car, traveling for the first time to a certain place. You have a road map, but you have not taken the time to check it carefully. Someone has told you the road to take. You trust him, sincerely believing that the way he has directed you is correct. But suppose it is not? What if someone points out the error? What if he, by referring to your own map, shows that you are on the wrong road? Would pride or stubbornness prevent you from admitting that you are on the wrong road? Well, then, if you learn from an examination of your Bible that you are traveling a wrong religious road, be willing to change. Avoid the broad road to destruction; get on the narrow road to life."

  • larc
    larc

    Winston,

    I have an uneasy feeling about this approach. It seems to me that if she is confronted by her entire family, that she will have a feeling of fear, panic, and total defensiveness. I think that a session with two or three knowledgable people who stay calm, rational, and loving would work better. Also, presenting too many ideas at once would make her mind shut down as well.

    You might want to check out the freeminds site shown at the bottom of this page. Randy offers some good advice on this subject.

  • JT
    JT

    Larc

    you are 110% CORRECT

    this type of setup would trigger the Persucution file to kick in

    all new bible studies are told and prepared for the FAMILY OPPOSITION and sure enough in this type of setting the words of the jw who studies with her are a Prophecy fulfilled

    and it solidifies the teaching that FATHERS MOTHERS SON,ETC WILL oppose you and in her mind this is what she will see

    PROOF THAT THE JW HAVE THE TRUTH

    he need to approach it from a different angle

    james

  • Winston
    Winston

    Larc,and JT,

    Thanks for you observations.

    I plan to repeatedly caution the family not to over react, so I totally understand the dangers.

    The husband is even studying with the JWs now at my suggestion, but with the intent of looking at the context of the scriptures used in the lesson.

    I'll repeatedly tell them that confrontational approaches will only make matters worse.

    Thanks.

    Former elder turned apostate (by WT definition)[:)}and proud of it!

  • trevor
    trevor

    Steve Hassan, an ex-Moonie has written a number of books exposing the cult mind- control methods. He has devised a set of guidelines that any religion can be measured against to decide whether or not a particular sect can be deemed a cult.

    He divides the process of mind control into four basic categories. (1) Behaviour Control (2) Information Control (3) Thought Control (4) Emotional Control. Some of the methods used are briefly summarised below.

    (1) Behaviour Control includes, among many things, dictating to the members how they dress and groom themselves. How much time is spent on recreation and how much time is committed to receiving indoctrination. They are expected to ask permission before making major decisions. Information is distorted to make it acceptable to them and rigid rules are laid down. Individualism is discouraged and obedience is demanded.

    (2) Information Control includes discouraging the reading of non-cult literature and information that is critical towards the group. Keeping members too busy to have time to think clearly about what they are doing and insisting they have nothing to do with ex-members. Past sins are used to pressure and control members. The leaders decide how much information the group needs and expect members to report other’s misdemeanours.

    (3) Thought Control includes the group accepting the stated beliefs as “truth.” They are trained to see themselves in a good-versus-evil situation where every issue is simply black or white. Key words are adopted and used as “buzz words.” No criticism of the leaders or their doctrine is permitted and all alternative religious groups are seen as bad.

    (4) Emotional Control includes using any guilt they may feel about their thoughts, feelings, family or their past. Any problems individuals may be experiencing are to be seen as the fault of the one who has the problems. Fear is built up in the minds of the members by warning them of the dangers of the “outside” world and the enemies that surround them. Fear of losing the approval of the other members is a key factor in pressuring the members to continue. The members are indoctrinated to fear questioning the leaders or being made to leave the group as they are told they will have no future if they are outside the safety of the group. There is no legitimate reason for leaving and those that do must be shunned. Without the protection of the group they could be exposed to possession by demons.

    As you can see from the length of the last paragraph, fear is a prominent factor in keeping members of cults in line. As stated, these guidelines were not written with Jehovah’s Witnesses specifically in mind. These guidelines can be applied to any sect to determine whether or not that sect or religion is a cult.

    Trevor

  • larc
    larc

    Winston,

    I still think you should keep the numbers small. How would you feel if you walked into a room full of people who wanted to "help you"?

  • Shaneliza
    Shaneliza

    Winston,
    That sounds like the technique used for a drug intervention.

  • pandora
    pandora

    Trevor -
    Could you post the name of the book by Steve Hassan. I would like to find it.
    Thank you,
    -P-

  • Winston
    Winston

    Larc,

    I don't have any control over that (how many will be their). I realy had nothing to do with arranging this meeting.

    His wife will not be at this family gathering for some reason and doesn't know about it.

    I'm just helping out this guy, he asked me to speak with his famliy about JWs. He's really a nice guy who wants the best for his family and he sees the control the JWs have over his wife's thinking and it worries him.

    If I was in his shoes I would have done the same thing. I think a family that thinks that much about one of their members has a lot going for it.

    I will proceed with caution and try to size up the situation, I don't want it to turn into a JW hate fest, I'm not into that.

    But I agree with you it's a very touchy situation and need to be handle as delicately as posible. And your words will weigh heavy on my mind.

    trevor,

    Thanks for the suggestion, I may use your info if it looks like the meeting is going in the right direction.

    Former elder turned apostate (by WT definition)[:)}and proud of it!

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