Do you charge your 18+ kids rent?

by tall penguin 40 Replies latest social family

• 

  Gill

  Absolutely! Definitely!

  How do you provide the food if they don't pay for it?

  For my younger kids we get family tax credit and family allowance which covers all their food needs and clothes, plus we of course have to add more of husbands earnings to that, and my older kids pay for their food. The rest, electric, gas, water, mortgage, council tax, etc is paid for by us. The older kids only pay £30 a week. It makes me very cross that we're subsidising their extravagant life styles. They think nothing of going out and wasting their earnings in the evenings, drinking or smoking etc. They earn only a few thousand pounds a year less than their father and save very little.

  I believe the best thing for them to do would be to move out and 'learn the real cost of living' then they wouldn't 'piss their earnings up a wall'. But it's very difficult to throw your kids out, especially if , apart from the above, they're very well behaved.

  Oh well! Hopefully they won't throw us out when we're old and just filled out incontinence pants!
• 

  aniron

  Where I live in Britain its expect that as soon a son/daughter is working that they contribute to the expense of the household.

  I have known parents who take the money off their child but unknown to the child put it in a savings account for them.

  One couple who did this from when their son started work at 18, till when their son got married at 30, they presented him with £10,000.
• 

  sinis

  I was regular pioneering, working part time (all the good dub things) and was still required to "donate" to the cause, though my parents were not hurting for money. Paid rent (1/3 of my income), paid for car insurance, paid for gas, etc. - when all was said and done I usually only had about $50.00 bucks to squirrel away at the end of the month for future car repairs, etc. As I look back on that I think the whole think was seriously fvcked up. Especially since my less than "christian" siblings didn't pay jack $hit. I don't have kids but if I ever did I would not charge them. As others have mentioned chores and other responsibilities can work as well - oh, which reminds me that I was also required to work my @ss off around the home...
• 

  Goldminer

  I started pay rent as soon as I turned 18.It was reasonable and it helped me understand that one has to work and pay their own way in adult life.

  After I left home I didn't rent for very long,I bought my own house.It's now paid and I no longer have monthly payments for lodging-I love it.

  Goldminer
• 

  jeanniebeanz

  I plan to. The deal has already been mentioned; 12 units with a 3.0 gpa and you're off the hook, except for chores. Gpa drops below 3.0 and it's partial rent. Under 2.0 and you may as well go find a full time job because you ain't being serious and there are no free rides in real life so why here? I'm not going to teach you to be a lazy bugger. How in the hell are you going to pay for my resort old-folks home in Tahiti on a burger flipper salary??

  LOL

  J
• 

  bisous

  I was charged rent the minute I got my first job (at 16 and back in the 70s) I had to pay $50 a month of my meager salary and that went up as my earnings increased. Ridiculous but what can I say, I was raised in a cult.

  No way would I charge my kids rent, never have (they are now 25 and 22). I subsidized their earnings while in school, they have always been full time students and part-time workers. I paid their rent and health insurance. My daughter graduated last summer, is engaged and has opened a restaurant with her fiance. (no longer requiring my subsidies!) Both of my kids lived outside of the home after 1st year of school, and I helped with rent as described above. My son is still in school and I pay his rent. A very worthwhile investment IMO.

  I consider it a blessing to be able to help them in this way. It has not made them selfish, unappreciative, lazy or anything else of that nature. They have learned to manage their money, they don't receive a free ride and while at home they didn't expect one - they pitched in with cleaning etc. Even though they didn't have to pay rent.

  I think it is an old fashioned concept to think that you can't teach your kids good values and an appreciation of money, finances,etc. without charging them for upkeep etc. As their parent I am delighted I can help them and I'm confident it will reap rewards in the long run.
• 

  Eyebrow2

  
  I charge my 18 year old sister room & board...and she is still in high school.

  This goes towards covering the extra food, water, etc...since we let her move in here. It really doesn't cover all of it, and it isn't a whole lot. She gets survivor benes for one more year until she turns 19. By then she is to get a job and will continue to pay the same amount.

  But YES she DOES have chores around the house, and she DOES babysit for free. Not a whole lot on either. In fact, my son complains about it quite a bit. We have 5 kids, but she gets her own room, so I think it is more than fair. It is working out pretty well. When she gets a car she can go on our insurance if she wants, but she will have to pay the difference. She knows she can continue this arrangement while in college if she chooses.

  I paid my mom room & board...I have told my son when he gets to be 18 he will start paying room & board if he has a job...but his school work is first.

  I see no problem with it. Just don't make the sum too much or too little. Too much and the kids feel oppressed. Too little and it becomes a joke, and it will easily be forgotten.

  But do away with chores? I think that is a mistake...give them some more freedom yes...but my son is still going to have 2 dish nights a week and take out the trash.

  Edited to add the following: Bisous: I certainly am not saying this arrangement works for everyone. I don't think this is a watchtower teaching...I have know MANY kids that had to fork over some room & board when they got older from all different walks of life. Also, circumstances change. When my parents let me move back home with my infant son, they didn't start charing my room and board until I had a part time job again. And it wasn't very much. I was still in college, and they were reasonable. And when I got a car, I was the main source of transportation for my mother. Regarding the comment one poster made that it was wrong to charge kids because they make next to nothing: this isn't always the case. If you have a ambitious 18 year old, they can sometimes make some good money. There are a LOT of opportunities out in the world. I am strongly encouraging my son and sister when they are ready to get a job to avoid certain lines of work if possible, because the pay and potention for advancement (even part time) is crappy. Their focus will always be school, but at this point in time, knowing what they are capable of, and the fact neither one has no real expensives, I have no problem charging room & board.
• 

  bisous

  Eyebrow .... Different strokes for different folks, that's what makes the world go 'round!
• 

  lisavegas420

  I mention to my son 21 from time to time....who lives at home that he should pay rent(I'm assuming this becasue he still has stuff, lots of stuff in there. I also tell him he should pay for his cell phone bill and car insurance. But when he doesn't I don't know how to make him.

  I pay his cell phone bill so I'm able to call him, I know he's 21, but I still worry, he doesn't come home every night. I'm hoping he's paying his car insurance, but I'm afraid he isn't, and I'm afraid to ask.

  I think I'm backing myself into a corner and don't know how to get out.

  lisa
• 

  Buster

  Like I told my daughter when she went to college, "no way you're doing to my money what I did to my father's"

  I told my her after she had a lousy Freshman year that she would now start paying rent. Not only that, she still had her work to do around the house. And, and this was the kicker, she was not allowed a social life until she was working 40 hours per week.

  I was serious and she believed me. She took an apt. with a friend and got a P-T job. She lost both of them, but has no intention of moving home. She's mooching around with friends. I'm a bit proud of her attitude. But she still doesn't get the whole 'no one cares about your excuses' part of adult life.

  And if she decides she needs to move home, she faces rent, chores, and restrictions until she is working F-T. Even then, she won't be allowed to live like a disinterested boarder.