Months ago, I commented on another thread about a strategy I was using to introduce my wife to the way cults work--without using the word "cult" and scaring her away. Here's my first comment on that thread:
Okay, so here's what I did:
I pulled Hassan's BITE model off the Internet and imported it into my word processor. I then control-F'd it and searched for every occurrence of the word "cult" and replaced all of them with the word "group."
I showed the modified list to my wife the other day, actually. All I mentioned was that it was written by a counselor/psychologist who had never heard of JWs. I never mentioned the word cult, but I said it was a study of group psychology and I think it applied to witnesses. She read it.
I said, "What do you think? Anything familiar?"
"Yes, absolutely. And he didn't know who Jehovahs Witnesses were?"
You can read the rest of the thread here:
Anyway, this is an update on that discussion, and an answer to the question: "So what's the next step?"
First of all, I would like to thank the society for JW.tv. Its mere existence made it SOOO much easier to employ the "C" word with my wife.
So, after watching bits and pieces of JWTV with my wife, I said, "You know what's interesting is that these videos bear a striking resemblence to videos that other cults make," and proceeded to show her a couple of videos produced by Scientology and the LDS.
She did not bat an eye.
Then we discussed how there were certainly surface differences between these groups, but underneath the structure was the same: they are all designed to control people.
I reminded her of the "list" I had shown her months back -- Hassan's BITE model, but with the "C" word replaced by "group."
I then came clean: "That list is actually describing any high-control group, also known as a cult. I just changed all of the instances of 'cult' to 'group'"
Again she did not bat an eye.
Since then, I openly refer to this religion as a cult (only in my wife's presence, of course) and she really never once resisted the idea. In fact. . ..
She can see it.
This is good!
So, for anyone else looking to open their loved one's eyes, this method worked for me, and maybe this experience will help you.
Best,
BOC