Using the "C-Word" With My Wife

by breakfast of champions 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Months ago, I commented on another thread about a strategy I was using to introduce my wife to the way cults work--without using the word "cult" and scaring her away. Here's my first comment on that thread:

    Okay, so here's what I did:

    I pulled Hassan's BITE model off the Internet and imported it into my word processor. I then control-F'd it and searched for every occurrence of the word "cult" and replaced all of them with the word "group."

    I showed the modified list to my wife the other day, actually. All I mentioned was that it was written by a counselor/psychologist who had never heard of JWs. I never mentioned the word cult, but I said it was a study of group psychology and I think it applied to witnesses. She read it.

    I said, "What do you think? Anything familiar?"

    "Yes, absolutely. And he didn't know who Jehovahs Witnesses were?"

    You can read the rest of the thread here:

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/279759/1/Have-anyone-ask-their-JW-family-member-to-research-Signs-of-a-Cult

    Anyway, this is an update on that discussion, and an answer to the question: "So what's the next step?"

    First of all, I would like to thank the society for JW.tv. Its mere existence made it SOOO much easier to employ the "C" word with my wife.

    So, after watching bits and pieces of JWTV with my wife, I said, "You know what's interesting is that these videos bear a striking resemblence to videos that other cults make," and proceeded to show her a couple of videos produced by Scientology and the LDS.

    She did not bat an eye.

    Then we discussed how there were certainly surface differences between these groups, but underneath the structure was the same: they are all designed to control people.

    I reminded her of the "list" I had shown her months back -- Hassan's BITE model, but with the "C" word replaced by "group."

    I then came clean: "That list is actually describing any high-control group, also known as a cult. I just changed all of the instances of 'cult' to 'group'"

    Again she did not bat an eye.

    Since then, I openly refer to this religion as a cult (only in my wife's presence, of course) and she really never once resisted the idea. In fact. . ..

    She can see it.

    This is good!

    So, for anyone else looking to open their loved one's eyes, this method worked for me, and maybe this experience will help you.

    Best,

    BOC

  • Magnum
    Magnum

    So what is the current situation with her? Is she a super-dub? Does she attend all meetings? Does she study and keep up with the "chariot"? Etc.?

  • dazed but not confused
    dazed but not confused

    Awesome! What a great method.

  • Darth Fader The Sequel
    Darth Fader The Sequel

    BoC, those are some stealthy moves on your part. Brilliant approach. Tip of the hat to you!

  • cofty
    cofty

    Thanks for sharing that BOC.

    I think the TV station is going to backfire with a lot of intelligent JWs.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    So what is the current situation with her? Is she a super-dub? Does she attend all meetings? Does she study and keep up with the "chariot"? Etc.?

    To answer your questions MAGNUM:

    No, she was NEVER a super-dub. Probably why I married her in the first place!

    Yes, for the time being she attends all meetings. . . . I'll just say our circumstances are complicated.

    Yes, she does "study" but increasingly finds the study articles to be all about control and obedience rather than love or being a Christian. She has also commented on how the literature is so simplistic that is it almost unreadable. But yes, she goes to the meeting with an underlined magazine.

    Does she "keep up with the chariot?" She thinks the "chariot" thing is complete bullshit. There's actually a story I could tell about that sometime. . . .

    What is the current situation overall?

    I would say that she is more than halfway mentally out. She sees no future in this religion, and is "staying for now" only for family reasons.

    Recently, we have been discussing our long term goals/exit strategy, even down to details like where we might move away to in order to complete a successful fade, as well as which relatives might even exit with us, and which would shun us.

    Again, I see this taking years, but at least we're making progress. Right now I have so much on my plate with university, I just want to square that away before making any huge changes anyway.

  • Witness My Fury
  • applehippie
    applehippie

    Marked

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Yes, she does "study" but increasingly finds the study articles to be all about control and obedience rather than love or being a Christian.

    That was one of the eye-openers for my wife too.

    Doc

  • berrygerry
    berrygerry

    You (and she) are lucky peeople.

    As per the July 2011 WT, you should try and "infect" your relatives before you become mentally diseased.

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