willyloman

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Posts by willyloman

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  5

  HumanityHow Could My Heart Have Been So Hard?

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i cried a little today.

  i got a recent issue of "habitat world" - which arrives in the mail if you contribute to.

  habitat for humanity.. i didn't see a single plastic smile anywhere in the issue.

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  willyloman

  As Witnesses we seldom touched Life, as we were always reaching past it into an imagined future.

  You can say that again.
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  23

  Started to not attend the meetings

  by mineralogist in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it is kind of a strange feeling.

  not, that i would miss the meetings, but somehow i feel, that brothers and sisters will ask for explanations why i didn t come, and for me i have to honestly point out, that i wouldn t feel my beliefs being strengthens.

  the fear to loose all friends and so on.

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  willyloman

  When it comes to the fade, I second the motion not to say too much. As a long time elder, I formed the opinion that people who drift away fall into two camps. For simplification, let's call them the weak and the dangerous (as seen from point of view of elders and some others in the congo).

  When you start to disappear and it gets noticed, the thought process begins: Why is he/she/they not coming to meetings? If the judgment is they're weak, or unappreciative, the absence is briefly lamented and the individuals are pigeon-holed into a special category where no further action is required, other than talking about them behind their backs. They will be largely ignored after that, except for when the CO visits and asks what the elders are doing about the inactive and others in need of shepherding. Since the elders in most congos will have been doing next to nothing about these people, a big push will be made to "encourage" those and a long list of folks to visit will be drawn up. After the CO leaves, a few half-hearted calls will be made and a note put in the file for when he returns and asks what the elders did.

  On the other hand, if the judgment is you're dangerous, and this is direct proportion to anything negative you may have said to someone about the organization, the elders, or any doctrine, the spotlight will be on you. You will get calls, visits, all kinds of attention, designed to flush you out and expose you as a threat to the congregation.

  If doing the fade, it is to your advantage to plant yourself squarely in the first category. It does not matter what your excuse is. Make something up and be vague. This is an exit strategy of your own devising. Use whatever works for you. Health is good, especially if you can develop a condition about which little is known; if it can be both mysterious and chronic, that's best. Depression is another good buffer. Just be careful not to be specific about what, or who, made you that way, and don't imply that "being in the truth" had anything to do with your depression. If you are "fortunate" enough to have a mate who is not a JW, you are on easy street. Blame it on them (and enlist their support for your strategy).

  There are many other ways to go about this, all of which have been discussed on this board at length. The point is, keep silent and make new friends. In time, your fade may work beyond your wildest dreams.

  One word of caution: Plan and rehearse for the unexpected. One day you will pick up the phone, or turn around in a public place, and be confronted by someone, perhaps an elder, who will flat out ask you what happened, and why you are no longer active. To paraphrase the scripture, always be ready to give a reply: you have some problems (above-mentioned), you're dealing with them as best you can, you know you've gotten out of the habit of meeting attendance, but you are still reading the bible and trying to keep up with your studies and getting a great deal of comfort out of praying every day. You have been thinking a lot about the meetings, and no, you don't need any help, thank you, but you really appreciate the encouragement. It's always good to end with, Perhaps I'll see you on Sunday. This strategy will move you back into the "not dangerous" category so you can be blissfully ignored for another period of time.
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  18

  It's snowing here.................1st time in 2 years

  by Mulan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i woke up to snow this morning.

  we have had another major rain storm, with flooding and all the "benefits" of that, yesterday and all night.

  when i got up a little while ago, i saw the ground covered with snow, and it is still coming down.

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  willyloman

  Mulan: sorry to hear about your mom; she's lucky, oops, I mean, fortunate, to have you around.
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  70

  My dub mom wants to remarry

  by unbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  before she can though she needs my dad to admit to adultary.

  they've been divorced for years but he has never remarried and has no plans too.. she says she's in love with a widowed brother but before they go any further she wants to be scriptually free.

  she called my dad and asked him if he would help her out and he laughed and hung up the phone.

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  willyloman

  thanks to a bunch of apostates, fellowshipping via the evil internet, she gets her "meat in due season". Oh, the irony!

  Stephanus: Nice catch. I thought so, too.
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  70

  My dub mom wants to remarry

  by unbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  before she can though she needs my dad to admit to adultary.

  they've been divorced for years but he has never remarried and has no plans too.. she says she's in love with a widowed brother but before they go any further she wants to be scriptually free.

  she called my dad and asked him if he would help her out and he laughed and hung up the phone.

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  willyloman

  Blondie's posting of that old '77 WT answers this whole question. All she has to do is write a letter to the elders saying she has sufficient reason to believe the marriage is scripturally ended (she's met his girl friend, after all, and it appears to be common knowledge in the family that he's had several 'relationships'). The elders, believe me, will be all to happy to put this behind them.

  Meanwhile, this thread vividly illustrates the tangled web that evolves when you wander into someone else's bedroom and start offering advice.
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  31

  When would a non -baptized person be DA'ed?? ( Blondie or others)

  by Poztate in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  on ozzie post i noticed this statement from blondiedoes anyone remember the days when an unbaptized person was "disassociated".

  i was of the impression that kids who were brought up in the "truth" but had not been baptized would still be da'ed if they were caught doing something against any of the many rules.has this changed???.

  could a local congo still practice da'ing even if head office had changed their policy??

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  willyloman

  This thread is just like a typical elder's meeting when a heavy questions comes up: Everybody flounders around expressing their own opinion until finally, one of the heavyweight elders (in this case, Blondie) points out that there is something in writing about this, and here it is. Then learned brother JT weighs in with an experience based on his connections to Bethyl, and ta-da! The body is enlightened, which, of course, is then attributed to the influence of holy spirit.
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  18

  Mystic River

  by Euphemism in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  saw it tonight.

  seemed a bit hammy at times, but overall i thought it was very good.

  when tom guiry's foot came down on the child's face, i was expecting the camera to cut away, and i was shocked when it didn't; half the theater gasped.

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  willyloman

  The book is one of the best American novels produced in the past decade.

  The movie is overly violent and depressing.

  This kind of topic is too intimate for the screen. Read the book. You will be blown away by this author.
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  47

  1995 "generation change", what were your early thoughts and what was said ?

  by run dont walk in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i had been long gone by 1995, had i still been in , this would of definitely sent me packing, when the magazines came out in i believe nov 1995, what was your first or early reactions.

  what was said from the platform and by the watchtower about this ?.

  could someone please post the articles ??????

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  willyloman

  Alan, Tex:
  

  Many JWs I know are 'reassessing' their convictions right now. I believe it all started in 1995. I was stunned by the WT article, and then more stunned at the casual response from many of the "friends." One brother said, "well, it explains a lot," and seemed relieved to have a doctrine he could more easily support -- in other words, this was simply a new, improved belief. Not that many boats were rocked, at least visibly.

  But as time has gone on the boat rocking has had a huge impact, in my opinion. I can't reveal too much now but in my own extended family all the boats are rocking. If the present trend continues there will be zero JWs in my family, spelling the loss to the society of one or more elders, ministerial servants and pioneers and a family that once stood as a "pillar" of its congregation and whose home was was "party central" for the congregation. An event such as this would have sent out shockwaves years ago, but I predict it will be more common in the years ahead. I have a close friend who said, after an assembly last year, "I was waiting for just one really crazy thing to be said, and I was gone," referring to the talks on the platform. I think a lot of brothers and sisters are wary, watching, waiting for the whistle to blow, telling them it's time to leave.
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  19

  God Have Mercy on Sister K.

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i run into sister k. at her office sometimes.

  everytime i do we 'get into it' about how awful things are in the.

  organization.

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  willyloman

  I know many people just like her.

  Me, too! We just had a visitor from another state who has been a pioneer for, oh, 25 years, at least. She was extremely critical of everybody and everything, and said so with almost no prompting from me. Her long-time elder hubby just stepped down after deciding "there was just too much politics." She cited all the faults listed in metatron's post, then said, "Oh, well, it doesn't make any difference, I'm going to gone soon." (She's 78 years old; by "gone," she meant "dead."). It's her strong conviction that everything is all screwed up in the organization, but after she dies Jehovah will either straighten it out, or not, but she won't have to worry about it. She had no answer to my question, which was: What do folks do who may have to endure this flawed organization for another 20, 30, 40 years?

  She can't wait to die! So much for "a better life now and in the one to come."
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  71

  The Preaching Work Is The Biggest Scam Happening On Jehovah's Witnesses!

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the most useless work a jw can do is preach!

  the watchtower society said that every baptized person, whether they be male or female, child or adult, is a minister!

  and the society says every minister must do a "life-saving work" and "preach the good news of the kingdom".

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  willyloman

  Min: Yes, he meant "on" the ministry. Brits talk funny, ya know.