Posts by asleif_dufansdottir

52

What was the "final straw" that made you leave the JW's ??????

by run dont walk in

jw
friends

what happened or was said, that made you decide, enough is enough, i am out of here ?????

?

asleif_dufansdottir

After pushing me for years to have little or no contact with "unbelieving" family members, during a particularly frightening and financially devastating crisis, we were told by the elders that if we needed help, we should ask our non-believing family, not the congregation. After all we'd done for everybody else - giving people food, giving congregation members jobs, helping them move, fix their houses and cars when ours needed work, shoveling walks for older ones, ...not to mention that congregation members had actually lived with us for months at a time before!

The family that was "dangerous" for us to associate with, even to visit, suddenly was who we were advised to go live with, because it was too much trouble for anyone else to lend a hand.

It made me heartsick and physically ill at the time, but now I've actually never been so grateful to anyone as I am to those elders, for showing me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, who really loved and cared about me!

They were right about one thing...associating with my unbelieving family did negatively impact my meeting attendance! (of course, depression made me not want to get out of bed to go to the meetings, too) They were also right that not constantly going to meetings could cause you to lose faith in the "truth" (tm)...because it sure did for us! We got off the hamster wheel and started thinking for ourselves again, and realized it was a crock!!

edited to say:

...giving people food, giving congregation members jobs, helping them move, fix their houses and cars when ours needed work, shoveling walks for older ones, ...not to mention that congregation members had actually lived with us for months at a time before

please don't mistake me...we were more than happy to do all this, we did it with joy and not complaining (well, sometimes a tiny complaint, but we really did enjoy almost all of it!), we loved doing things for those we thought of as our spiritual family...but when it was us that needed help then we were supposed to ask my family, who were never JWs.

28

Why Witnesses are Zealous - a Dark Reason.

by metatron in

despite all the fakery and non-credible statistics, there is still a lot of zeal in this organization.

five meetings a week.

are demanding all by themselves.

asleif_dufansdottir

So the more obsessed you became in your behaviour the better off you would be.

Traci~
I think this is the most important point of the thread. That the indoctrination of the society rewards behavior that should not be rewarded in a healthy mind and encourages rather odd psychological tics (or whatever the right word is) in even the most "normal" (whatever that is) of their followers.

Unless I'm wrong...isn't one of the links between severe childhood sexual abuse and multiple personality disorder the fact that children who are being abused dissassociate, pretend it's not happening to them, or retreat into a fantasy world? (a non-JW friend who suffered severe childhood abuse told me that's what she did and that she fights with multiple personality disorder as a result)

Now, of course, being forced to sit still and look straight at the platform as a small child, while abuse, is hardly comparable to sexual abuse...but it seems logical to me that the disassociation, daydreaming, and fantasy that I hear over and over from people who were JWs as a kid, might cause a very mild but widespread problem among those raised as JWs. Not true MPD but some sort of mild problem nonetheless. Am I way off?

128

Inky got a letter from her son.............you have to read this

by Mulan in

our niece, irene, who posts here as inky, sent me an email.

her 27 year old son is getting married in two weeks, and she posted a few days ago about how he didn't invite her to his wedding.. she told me i can post it as she doesn't want to read it again.. "dear mom.

i've needed to write this letter to you for some time now.

asleif_dufansdottir

I really don't think "warning" his future wife would really have been of benefit and it would have come off badly. She is probably a JW robot just like him and she probably would have been proud of the letter and would have taken "mild" and "industrious" to be compliments (and if someone prefers a milder personality and a hard-working person, aren't they compliments?)

You are making assumptions about this young woman that I really don't think are fair to make.

How many women marry men who are abusive but smart enough to hide it until it's "too late"? In a typical JW courtship, since the couple is never alone, an abusive man has even more incentive to curtail his abusive tendencies until after the marriage.

It's true that only a month before the wedding is probably not going to keep her from marrying him, but it just might help her open her eyes faster, if indeed he is abusive. JW women, especially, are ingrained to think everything is their fault ("It's your fault because you are not submissive enough" is counsel that is constantly given!). Each and every clue that it is not her fault would be a help to her.

and if someone prefers a milder personality and a hard-working person, aren't they compliments?

NO. To women who have had dealings with abusive men, "complimenting" a woman on being "mild" and "industrious, especially if the comment is made to another woman, to imply that she is lacking those qualities, is a big, friggen' red flag!

28

Why Witnesses are Zealous - a Dark Reason.

by metatron in

despite all the fakery and non-credible statistics, there is still a lot of zeal in this organization.

five meetings a week.

are demanding all by themselves.

asleif_dufansdottir

Dannybear, Use most of your examples and substitute JW's for parents. If your mom and dad caught you doing a "peeping tom", how would they have handled it?

MinnieMouse (Sorry, that just occurred to me as I was writing your name!!)

Some parents would handle it well on their own. Matter of fact, lots of parents do indeed handle such things with sensitivity all the time.

For instance, my parents (not, thank goodness, JWs) found out I was hanging out with the neighbor kid when he played with matches one day. (what kid isn't kind of fascinated by fire, especially when it's such a big no-no to mess with it) Now, of course they freaked, but they told me the reason they freaked was because we could get horribly burned or we could burn somebody's house down. They did not drag me before a church tribunal whose grilling permanently connected, in my mind, playing with matches and God's disapproval resulting in my everlasting destruction!!

The problem with the org's handling of such things, is there is almost no chance of it being handled in a sensitive, common-sense manner, and almost a certainty it will be blown out of proportion and cause, as it did for Danny, tremendous issues with a healthy and normal attitude toward sexuality.

For crying out loud, a 9 year old boy is gonna be curious and want to see such things. They deserve a good butt-chewin' for invading another's privacy in such a manner, but certainly not for being inordinately curious about what "real, live boobies" look like and wanting real bad to see some!! Just like my parents chewed me out for playing with matches but understood that campfires are kind of cool and it was pretty normal for me to want to mess with them even though it wasn't really safe for me to (they didn't immediately assume I was a pyromaniac and a danger to society).

How many dads who had not been indoctrinated into the WT's "Borg mind" would think, "Man, I don't want him lookin' in windows and turnin' into a perv, but when I was 9 I sure wanted to look at naked women too!" and go from there??

Kids do dumb things. Kids doing dumb things is normal and not cause to scar them for life and convince them that God will never forgive them if they put a toe wrong!! The whole point is to teach them how to differentiate between what's dumb stuff and what's OK.

50

CAN A CHRISTIAN BELONG TO A NUDIST RESORT?

by minimus in

.

the may 15, 1962 wt.

states:"therefore no dedicated christian minister can remain in good standing in the new world society of jehovah's witnesses and at the same time be a member of a nudist colony or frequent nudist camps" so if you had to make a choice,what would you do?.

asleif_dufansdottir

I see the question in the subject heading of this post the same way I see the following questions:

Can a Christian woman cut her hair?
Can a Christian woman wear pants?
Should a Christian womah show her ankle?
Should a Christian woman work outside the home?
Can a Christian man shave his beard?
Can a Christian drink alcoholic drinks?

I have, personally, heard these issues being seriously debated by different Christians. What is considered "moral" Christian behavior varies widely from culture to culture and denomination to denomination. Some people would no expose their legs or their elbows in public than they would their genitals. It's all a matter of degree.

33

WARNNG!! GRAPHIC!! Men....PLEASE Don't Wear This in Public!! (or private)

by teenyuck in

jw
friends

.

i got this in an e-mail.

i have no idea who it is.

asleif_dufansdottir

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!Mine eyes have seen the coming of the load

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Mouthy, you ROCK!

28

Why Witnesses are Zealous - a Dark Reason.

by metatron in

despite all the fakery and non-credible statistics, there is still a lot of zeal in this organization.

five meetings a week.

are demanding all by themselves.

asleif_dufansdottir

True MPD is trauma based. Cult -based MPD is a slightly different problem. Comparing the two is like comparing apples and oranges. - both fruit but the similarity ends there. Treatments are quite different

Thanks for explaining these points! But isn't recognition that it's a problem, and acknowledging the seriousness of the potential consequences, an important first step?

edited to ask Lady Lee - How does dissociative disorder fit into this paradigm? Is it possible that it exists in mild form in a widespread way in the society, because of some of the above reasons? Or am I completely misunderstanding it?

128

Inky got a letter from her son.............you have to read this

by Mulan in

our niece, irene, who posts here as inky, sent me an email.

her 27 year old son is getting married in two weeks, and she posted a few days ago about how he didn't invite her to his wedding.. she told me i can post it as she doesn't want to read it again.. "dear mom.

i've needed to write this letter to you for some time now.

asleif_dufansdottir

Princess,

We're in complete agreement. At a minimum, I think her dad needs to know to keep an eye on this guy and be ready to protect and support his daughter.

128

Inky got a letter from her son.............you have to read this

by Mulan in

our niece, irene, who posts here as inky, sent me an email.

her 27 year old son is getting married in two weeks, and she posted a few days ago about how he didn't invite her to his wedding.. she told me i can post it as she doesn't want to read it again.. "dear mom.

i've needed to write this letter to you for some time now.

asleif_dufansdottir

Swan,

You show a loving and forgiving spirit, which is commendable, but I strongly believe the man should be made responsible for his actions. His bad behavior should not be covered up and Inky should definitely not take the heat from people who will assume she's the bad one for not attending his wedding.

Crap like this should be held up to the cold light of day for all to see. Not just for Inky and her future daughter-in-law's sake, but for all those who may think twice about this sort of behavior.

He wrote this. If he's ashamed for it to be seen by others, then he shouldn't have written it, because he knows it's wrong. If he really feels he's done the right thing, he should not be afraid for his future wife and in-laws to read what he wrote. And he should make **** sure that everyone at that wedding knows he told his mother she was not welcome. If he's willing to do it, he should be willing for it to be known.

28

Why Witnesses are Zealous - a Dark Reason.

by metatron in

despite all the fakery and non-credible statistics, there is still a lot of zeal in this organization.

five meetings a week.

are demanding all by themselves.

asleif_dufansdottir

Excellent post! Excellent points!

Coloring books and the like are strongly discouraged so what does Mama do? Tell her kid to count and write down the number of times the speaker says "Jehovah".

I've seen it too. Scary. Could be in a manual for raising a child with mental problems.

I see the same phenomena sitting behind 14 yr old Sister BarbieDoll who spends the assembly writing her name in calligraphy, over and over and over......

Seen this too.

How horrible to think of the energy and exhuberance of youth shut completely down and young people actively repress thought and action to the point that many have mental disorders.