Winston
i think what your mother was really asking you was 'why do you want me to stop being your mother?!!'
as you can clearly see, she couldn't care less what you believe in and what you don't, hence her recommendation regarding just becoming inactive.
winston, in the end, by attempting to 'discard' the made up 'rules' set by the wt, you are hurting your mom by actually following one of the worst 'rules', the turning in a letter of DA. there is nothing in the Bible about doing this either.
anyways, in a few years no one will care that you turned in a DA or not and no, no one will think of Winston as a JW if you're gone long enough, it's true. no one except your mother. it sounds like you care about her and she wont be around forever, i'd give in for her. just my op.