Scully

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Posts by Scully

• 
  739

  250,000 Jehovah's Witnesses have died refusing blood

  by nicolaou in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  80+ branch davidian cult members died in waco, texas.

  250,000+ #jehovahswitnesses have died refusing blood.

  stop this #cult!

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  Scully

  This is exactly why we need to be documenting these deaths, with references to newspaper articles, etc. I'm all for exposing the loss of life caused by the WTS's anti-blood transfusion policy, but it has to be done with TRUTH, not speculation, not exaggeration and not sensationalism. I'd also suggest including the names of people who committed suicide after having been Disfellowshipped™ and being shunned by people they love.

  I'd wager that the actual number would be several times the number of deaths at Jonestown, but still, I want facts.

  I remember there was a Watchtower Victims Memorial on the AJWRB site that was supposed to be updated regularly with new names. For whatever reason, the person(s) who initiated it did not continue to update the site.
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  22

  WBATS BANS ANYTHING BESIDES THE WT! SMH

  by ADJUSTMENTS in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  it irks me when i read in the watchtower do not use secular sources or the internet to do research... but in that very same wt it will quote a secular source or literature to prove a point!

  how hypocritical!!!

  it's all apart of their limited information mind control!

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  Scully

  They are terrified that we will try to find a Quote™ that they've put in their Literature™ and discover that they've deliberately misquoted, twisted or otherwise misconstrued the original author's intent to suit their cult agenda. They do it all the damn time.
• 
  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

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  Scully

  You *can* escape. You just need to learn how.

  You can start by getting a job and having a bank account that's just your own. He says he doesn't want you working because it's to his advantage from a tax perspective. It's actually more than that. It allows him to keep you dependent. It allows him to keep a power imbalance in play where he is the "adult" in the relationship and you are the "child" - that's clear from the way he expects certain behaviour of you and throws a hissy fit when you are disobedient or 'disloyal' in his estimation.

  Take courses. Widen your circle of friends. Become involved in your community as a volunteer. There are lots of options. But whatever you do, do not allow him (and his JW relatives and friends) to isolate you by compelling you to associate with only JWs. Isolation is their most useful tool - it creates a situation whereby their behaviour becomes "normal" when it isn't - you become accustomed to it and accept it. If you keep a broad range of friendships, you'll have someone there who can tell you "Hey Kari, that's messed up! Don't let them do that to you!"

  Take small steps toward growing independence - he doesn't have to like you having a job. He has to accept your decision to work or go to school or whatever, and the tax implications that go with it. Tell him you think it will be good for your self esteem, or that you're becoming bored, or that you feel it's important for you to take care of your own expenses. What if he decides to run off with someone else? You'll need to have the skills to support yourself, because he sounds like the kind of guy who will try to weasel out of spousal support payments (do you have a pre-nup agreement?) Worst case scenario, what if he were to die suddenly? Where would that leave you financially? It's important for you to have marketable skills so you'll be able to be self-sufficient in the event you become single again. What about starting a small business from home - do you have talents like cooking or baking or making jewelry that you could sell? There are tax advantages to being self employed, perhaps that's angle he hasn't considered.
• 
  13

  JW Doctors

  by elisaporquien in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  okay i know that there are people who began careers in medicine, law, etc.

  then later got into the truth.

  i know that pursuing a higher education is not forbidden but a personal choice.

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  Scully

  Perhaps attending medical school will help you change your mind about blood transfusions just as much as the link rebel8 posted will. Simply put, JWs have been grossly misinformed by the WTS and as a result have an unhealthy paranoia regarding the use of blood in a medical context.
• 
  65

  Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

  by Markw1509 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  can i ask for your opinion?

  i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

  my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

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  Scully

  Money is really what JWs worship, despite any claims to the contrary.

  The Necessary Family Business™ clause proves it with utmost certainty. If your ex-wife felt so strongly that any influence of yours was so harmful to your child, she wouldn't accept the money, nor would the WTS encourage it. If they were compelled to endure financial hardship for the sake of The Truth™, then the WTS would likely have to set up a fund to assist single parents who divorced on grounds of Spiritual Endangerment™. Your money suits their agenda just fine.

  Would you have the right to require an accounting of how the money is spent? Do you get to claim alimony and child support as a tax deduction? I'd get it in writing from the court that the ex must supply you with receipts. You don't want one thin dime going in the Contribution Box™ - all of it must be used for essential expenses, such as clothing, food and shelter.

  Are the maintenance payments enough to allow her to not have a job and Pioneer™ instead? If that's the case, then I think a review and possibly a revision of the support order is a reasonable thing to request. Is she making substantial Contributions ™ to the WTS using your support payments to do so? Again a review is in order.

  If you do succeed in having the payments decreased, set aside the amount you've saved in a trust fund for your child's education. Tell the court that is your plan. You know the WTS would rather have that money for themselves, and you need to think of your child's long term benefit.
• 
  13

  Hubby gave me my cross and chain

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we got home earlier today from celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary.

  we had a blast.

  walked aroung gatlinberg.

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  Scully

  http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

  The cycle of violence in domestic abuse

  Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:

  • Abuse – Your abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you "who is boss."
  • Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he's done. He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior.
  • Excuses – Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for the abusive behavior —anything to avoid taking responsibility.
  • "Normal" behavior – The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.
  • Fantasy and planning – Your abuser begins to fantasize about abusing you again. He spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he'll make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.
  • Set-up – Your abuser sets you up and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing you.

  Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are very real.

  The Full Cycle of Domestic Violence: An Example

  A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, "I'm sorry for hurting you." What he does not say is, "Because I might get caught." He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her "If you weren't such a worthless whore I wouldn't have to hit you." He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. Heplans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified in assaulting her because "you're having an affair with the store clerk." He has just set her up.

  Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service
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  5

  Priest accused of offering Cleveland Metroparks ranger $50 for sex

  by Scott77 in

  1. social
  2. current

  .

  james mcgonegal above now faces a a third-degree felony because he also admitted he knows he has hiv.

  read more: http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/local_news/cleveland_metro/priest-offers-cleveland-metroparks-ranger-50-for-sex-admits-he-has-hiv-park-spokesperson-says#ixzz2htzsjtv7.

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  Scully

  effing bastard.

  put him in jail.

  he won't last long there.
• 
  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

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• 

  Scully

  A more up-to-date website with details to help identify if you are in an abusive relationship:

  http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
• 
  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

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• 

  Scully

  perfect1:

  It's not actually an exhaustive list. I've kept it for well over a decade - so things like cell phones, social media and internet use are not addressed.

  I would certainly include something to the effect of "compelling her to delete social media pages, blogs, etc. that he does not approve of" and any other bullying behaviour.

  One of my biggest concerns is the social isolation he and his relatives are trying to impose. That is part and parcel of the BITE Model of Cult Indoctrination: Behaviour Control, Information Control, Thought Control and Emotional Control. If a person can be isolated, it helps to facilitate cult manipulation and indoctrination.
• 
  39

  Oops I did it again. Another mistake

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so it seems i made another mistake.

  i expressed negative feelings to my hubby.

  i'm not allowed to express anything but positive emotions.

  1. 
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  3. 
• 

  Scully

  This is a list that I use at work in situations where I suspect a patient might be in an abusive relationship. Take from it what you will, take note of the points that apply.

  The Eight Types of Abuse

  These lists of abuse are based on one made by men who were describing how they controlled or harmed their wives or girlfriends. Remember, a single act may not be abuse. But if someone is doing something to harm or control you ... then, YES, it is abuse. You have the right to be treated with respect and to feel safe in your home.

  * Indicates acts which are clearly criminal, or may be criminal depending on the circumstances.

  Emotional/Psychological/Verbal Abuse

  • making her do illegal things*
  • false accusations
  • name calling, finding fault
  • yelling
  • intimidation
  • making her think she's crazy or stupid
  • overpowering her emotions
  • disbelieving her
  • bringing up old issues
  • inappropriate expressions of jealousy
  • degrading her
  • turning a situation against her
  • brainwashing her
  • laughing in her face
  • silence
  • refusing to do things with or for her
  • insisting on always getting his own way
  • pressuring her
  • neglecting her
  • expecting her to conform to a role
  • real or suggested involvement with other women
  • making her feel guilty
  • certain mannerisms (eg, snapping fingers, pointing)
  • threatening to get drunk or stoned unless ...
  • manipulating her
  • starting arguments
  • withholding affection
  • not sharing in household chores as punishment
  • never really forgiving, holding grudges
  • lying
  • treating her as a child
  • having a double standard for her
  • saying one thing, meaning another
  • denying or taking away her responsibilities
  • not keeping commitments
  • threatening her with loss of immigration status
  • deliberately creating a mess for her to clean up
  • threatening to report her to the authorities
  • making her drop charges
  • telling woman-hating jokes
  • minimizing her work or contribution
  • pressuring her to stay around during drug or alcohol abuse
  • not coming home
  • displaying woman-hating or violent pictures
  • egging her on, challenging her to physical violence
  • coming home drunk or stoned
  • friendship or support of men who are abusive
  • demanding an accounting of her time/routine
  • taking advantage of her fear of something
  • ridiculing her preference in foods
  • threatening suicide unless ...

  Emotional abuse around reproduction, pregnancy and childbirth

  • refusing to allow or forcing her to use contraception
  • forcing her to have an abortion
  • refusing sex on the grounds that her pregnant body is ugly
  • denial that the child is his
  • refusing to support her during the pregnancy
  • refusing to support her during the birth
  • denying her access to her newborn child
  • not supporting her or helping out after she comes home with the baby
  • demanding sex after childbirth
  • blaming her because the infant is the "wrong" sex
  • refusing to allow her to breastfeed
  • pouting, sulking or making her feel bad for time spent with the baby

  Environmental Abuse

  In the home

  • harming pets*
  • ripping clothing*
  • locking her in or out*
  • throwing away or destroying her possessions*
  • slamming doors
  • throwing objects, food
  • taking the phones or denying her use of the phones
  • punching walls
  • mowing over her garden

  In the vehicle

  • driving too fast*
  • driving recklessly, pounding the steering wheel*
  • driving while intoxicated*
  • forcing her into a vehicle*
  • pushing her out of a vehicle when it's in motion*
  • threatening to kill her by driving off a bridge, into and oncoming car, etc.*
  • chasing or hitting her with a vehicle*
  • killing her in a deliberate accident*
  • prohibiting her from using a vehicle by tampering with the engine, chaining the steering wheel, taking the keys, etc.
  • putting his foot over hers on the gas pedal
  • hitting her while she's driving
  • grabbing the steering wheel while she's driving

  Social Abuse

  • controlling what she does, who she sees, who she talks to, what she reads, where she goes
  • not passing on messages
  • put downs or ignoring her in public
  • not allowing her access to family or friends
  • interfering with her family or friends
  • change of personality with others
  • being rude to her friends or relatives
  • dictating her mode of dress
  • dictating her behaviour
  • habitually choosing friends, activities or work rather than being with her
  • making a "scene" in public
  • making her account for herself
  • censoring her mail
  • treating her like a servant
  • not giving her space or privacy
  • insisting on accompanying her into the doctor's office

  Using children

  • assaulting her in front of the children*
  • initiating false child abuse charges against her
  • making her stay at home with the children
  • teaching children to abuse mother through name calling, hitting, etc.
  • embarrassing her in front of the children
  • not sharing responsibility for the children
  • threatening to abduct the children or telling her she'll never get custody
  • putting down her parenting ability

  During separation or divorce

  • buying the children with expensive gifts
  • not showing up on time to pick up children or not having them back on time
  • pumping children for information about boyfriends, etc.
  • telling children that Mom is responsible for breaking up the family
  • using children to transport messages (sending notes home to Mom in their suitcases)
  • denying her access to the children
  • not giving a valid phone number

  Financial abuse

  • taking her money*
  • forging her name*
  • giving her false receipts
  • cancelling her insurance
  • sabotaging her efforts to attain economic freedom
  • withholding money
  • spending money foolishly or beyond means
  • pressuring her to take full responsibility for finances
  • not paying fair share of bills
  • not spending money on special occasions (birthdays, etc.)
  • spending on addictions, gambling, sexual services
  • pressuring or controlling her working conditions
  • preventing her from taking a job

  Ritual abuse

  • mutiliation*
  • animal mutilation*
  • forced cannibalism*
  • human sacrifices*
  • suggesting or promoting suicide
  • forcing her to participate in rituals
  • forcing her to witness rituals

  Physical abuse

  • any unwanted physical contact*
  • kicking, punching or pinching her*
  • pulling or pushing her*
  • slapping, hitting or shaking her*
  • cutting or burning her*
  • pulling her hair*
  • head butting*
  • squeezing her hand or twisting her arm*
  • choking or smothering her*
  • force feeding her*
  • spitting on her*
  • throwing her*
  • throwing things at her*
  • hitting her with objects or whipping her*
  • restraining her in any way*
  • tying her up*
  • urinating on her*
  • breaking her bones*
  • knifing or shooting her, murder*
  • threatening to kill or injure her*
  • ignoring her illness or injury
  • denying or restricting her food or drink
  • pressuring or tricking her into alcohol or drug use
  • standing too close/intimidating her
  • hiding or withholding necessary medication

  Sexual abuse

  • any unwanted sexual contact*
  • forcing her to have sex, hounding her to have sex*
  • forcing her to have sex with others*
  • forcing her to have sex with animals*
  • uttering threats to obtain sex*
  • pinching, slapping, grabbing or poking her breasts or genitals*
  • forcing sex when she's sick, after childbirth or surgery*
  • sleeping around
  • knowingly transmitting sexual diseases
  • treating her as a sex object
  • being rough
  • pressuring her to pose for pornographic photos
  • displaying pornography that makes her feel uncomfortable
  • using sex as a basis for an argument
  • using sex as a solution for an argument
  • criticizing her sexual ability
  • unwanted fondling in public
  • purposely not washing and expecting sex
  • name calling (whore, slut, frigid, bitch)
  • accusations of affairs
  • degrading her body parts
  • sexual jokes
  • sexual comments in public
  • demanding sex for alcohol or drugs
  • demanding sex as payment or trade
  • administering drugs or alcohol for sexual advantage
  • insisting on checking her body for sexual contact

  Religious abuse

  • using religion to justify abuse or dominance
  • using church position to pressure for sex or favours
  • using her, then demanding forgiveness
  • giving higher priority to religion and religious activities above family or couple activities
  • excessive spending on religion
  • interpreting religion to his advantage and/or her disadvantage
  • preventing her from attending church
  • requiring sex acts or drug use as religious acts
  • mocking her beliefs