Posts by Oversteer

19

Looking for a bit of advice in a difficult situation

by Oversteer in

jw
friends

i'm looking for a bit of guidance here and not really sure where to turn.

maybe someone has been in a similar situation and can help me out.. currently i'm an awake, baptized jw.

have been for a few years.

Oversteer

Thanks for the replies everyone.

First things first I will wait for the results of the tests and go from there.

Even just getting testing done is proving a challenge. Normally the team doing the surgery would order the tests to be done, however because my sibling is looking at doing it overseas, I got sent to a doctor here with a list of things I have to ask to have tested. I was met with some baffled looks. Oh and CT scans etc are not covered either since we are requesting it ourselves. A quagmire indeed.

A little more information: During my conversations with my sibling I feel I gave quite a bit of food for thought. I brought up the society's stance on transplants in the past firstly. He(I'll just call this person he from now on) had never heard about this before so didn't believe it was true. Then I was asked "where I got the information? From the internet? Because that's apostate!" I said no look it up in the bound volumes. So he looked it up, and saw for himself. He said "well back then transplants weren't done successfully so it was actually for our own good." I said "is that reasoning they gave? No it wasn't. It was considered cannibalism. They said god did not permit it."

I then relayed Jesus words about wanting mercy not sacrifice. I made an illustration about putting more value in the symbol than what it symbolizes. He wears a wedding ring. I said "what does that symbolize? Marriage, would you agree?" "Yes" he replied. Then I said "what's more important, your wedding ring or your marriage? Would it make sense to sacrifice your marriage to save your wedding ring?" He had no reply.

I brought up the absurdity of blood fractions. I brought up 1975. The child molestation cases, the generation that would not pass away. Eerything I could think of to show that this is a religion that gives absolutely no reason for us to put our trust in it, especially when it comes to medical matters. His reply to all of this was that "There is a lot of things that don't make sense, but at the end of the day, what gods going to care about is whether or not we were faithful to him".

He is a very intelligent person. But simply will not let reason overcome blind devotion.

19

Looking for a bit of advice in a difficult situation

by Oversteer in

jw
friends

i'm looking for a bit of guidance here and not really sure where to turn.

maybe someone has been in a similar situation and can help me out.. currently i'm an awake, baptized jw.

have been for a few years.

Oversteer

Onthewayout:

Thank you for your input. Part of my reason for confronting my sibling was not just to try to make the surgery happen, but I thought I had an opportunity to really get through. His/her surgery is very compromised due to very low blood counts a bloodless surgery adds a major complication to that

19

Looking for a bit of advice in a difficult situation

by Oversteer in

jw
friends

i'm looking for a bit of guidance here and not really sure where to turn.

maybe someone has been in a similar situation and can help me out.. currently i'm an awake, baptized jw.

have been for a few years.

Oversteer

Wisdomfrombelow:

Yes a very good point we also have confidentiality laws here in Canada. The only difficulty is the fact my sibling made it known well known to everyone in the whole city that Canada would absolutely not do a transfusion free surgery for the donor. Also in light of the conversation we had, would definitely put 2 and 2 together if the surgeons were to suddenly change their minds. In hindsight I should have dealt directly with the hospital in Canada here

19

Looking for a bit of advice in a difficult situation

by Oversteer in

jw
friends

i'm looking for a bit of guidance here and not really sure where to turn.

maybe someone has been in a similar situation and can help me out.. currently i'm an awake, baptized jw.

have been for a few years.

Oversteer

Hi all. I'm looking for a bit of guidance here and not really sure where to turn. Maybe someone has been in a similar situation and can help me out.

Currently I'm an awake, baptized JW. Have been for a few years. Ive remained semi active due to having friends and family in the truth. I have had limited success trying to wake up my spouse, however some progress has been made.

Recently a sibling of mine (a JW) has developed serious health problems, and is need of what is now a fairly urgent liver transplant. Being placed on the deceased donor list is effectively a death sentence for my sibling, since his/her stance on blood makes surgery riskier, therefore placed at the top of the list.

Living donation is now the only chance my sibling has to make it. Here is where things get a bit complicated. When I heard this news I, along with a couple other family members(active jws)volunteered to donate. My sibling then started planning for surgery. However when the surgery team here in Canada learned it would involve a jw donor, they refused, due to it being more risky for a transfusion free surgery. They will not risk a life unnecessarily. It's interesting they used the term "respect for life". He/she then informed us the only choice now is to find a surgeon in another country, and paying out of pocket( a massive amount of money they do not have) willing to operate on two JWs.

Now as an awake JW I very much do not share this stance on blood. So I meet with my sibling in private and make this point known. I will accept a transfusion if nessesary, and if I am compatible can do the surgery here in Canada. After the Initial shock, He/she was relieved, and agreed to not tell anyone and carry through with the planning.

However a few days later I get a call from my sibling, to say that he/she cannot accept my offer anymore as it would feel like "sharing in my sin". long story short, after a long discussion, his/her stance on blood and the "truth" only became more entrenched. It became about trying to correct me and my "wrong thinking". I was not making progress, and I could see where this was headed with talk of getting elders involved.

So I decided to back away from this argument until it has been determined I am even a compatible donor or not. Now my dilemma is: if the results come back that I am a compatible donor what do I do? Out myself and get DF'd, or back away from the situation and let another JW family member do the surgery?