Posts by joyfulfader

24

Have I really left?

by KateWild in

it was a meeting night last night.

i didn't go nor did i stay on jwn instead.

nugget gave me her time.

It is definitely a process. I have successfully been faded for 26 months. I don't post here very often but I do come here to keep up with the latest goings on since my parents are still in though they have really relaxed their stance now that all of their children have left. There is a new kh that I pass daily and I find that I don't even ever look at it or notice it even exists anymore. I am house hunting and have to say that since I went out in service in the areas where I am looking I have a better feel of the neighborhoods so that I count that as a plus.

I don't know if the effects of the cult will ever go away completely but I truly feel good about my life for the first time. Celebrating holidays feels natural even though I was a born in.

I have enjoyed reading your posts and you have been very strong. I have had to be a strong woman and in the org they don't like strong women. You will make it one day at a time. Each day that passes is one more day of the rest of your life which will be a new adventure. When I am going through a difficult time in my life I just say to myself, "one year from today things will be entirely different and I have the power to shape that outcome". I am always right even if something new has popped up.

Hang in there girl :)

27

24 hour field service marathon ??

by gingerbread in

jw
friends

field service for up to twenty-four hours non-stop.... it's a bit of a fad in our area with pioneers - the twenty somethings especially.

we've heard from other family members and a jw friend that it's a thing in their part of the country as well.. it sounds like a group decides on a day and then piles into a van or suv to 'work' the territory - 12, 18 and even 24 hours.. anyone else hearing of this?.

ginger.

joyfulfader

I remember the other 20 something's in the 90's going out all night stopping at the rest areas on 95 in MD and DE...maybe even further. I never had the gumption to do so although I was a pioneer at the time and those 90 hrs per month were a killer.

15

I just couldn't do it...

by joyfulfader in

i have recently become friends with some women who belong to a church in my area.

they are fun, great women.

one of them used to be a witness actually but it has been many years.

joyfulfader

Ah yes Billy. Brunch. That means mimosas before noon are acceptable

15

I just couldn't do it...

by joyfulfader in

i have recently become friends with some women who belong to a church in my area.

they are fun, great women.

one of them used to be a witness actually but it has been many years.

joyfulfader

I know absolutely nothing about the Unitarian church. I suppose my thread was mainly to point out that even with all the so called belief and faith I had supposedly acquired as a witness, here I am extremely happy and comfortable being out but have no faith. It was all a mirage...a fantasy...a mind game to keep me in submission. I am in no way trying to say that others don't have their strong faith and if that is how they believe I think it is great for them. I have just found more angst and less answers the more I search for God and more peace living without him in my life. Perhaps D-D is correct. Maybe I am still tainted by the cult. I dont feel any control anymore but perhaps it is still there where I can't see it...

15

I just couldn't do it...

by joyfulfader in

i have recently become friends with some women who belong to a church in my area.

they are fun, great women.

one of them used to be a witness actually but it has been many years.

joyfulfader

I see so much hypocrisy in all religion. I want to keep god separate from religion but even when I take religion out of the equation I can't believe in God. I believe less and less the more I read the bible sadly.

15

I just couldn't do it...

by joyfulfader in

i have recently become friends with some women who belong to a church in my area.

they are fun, great women.

one of them used to be a witness actually but it has been many years.

joyfulfader

I would like to engage in some meaningful charitable work though. This particular church does that but makes you sign a weird cultish legal waiver.

15

I just couldn't do it...

by joyfulfader in

i have recently become friends with some women who belong to a church in my area.

they are fun, great women.

one of them used to be a witness actually but it has been many years.

joyfulfader

Robert-it is a contemporary Protestant mega church. It has a band and is aimed toward the younger crowd. And it isn't the WT phobias influencing me as much as my complete (newly realized) disbelief in a god. I have no feelings of spirituality but see how a belief in god has been helpful for some and that has swayed me to try a church of some sort. I have since changed my mind about trying anything god related. At least for now.

15

I just couldn't do it...

by joyfulfader in

i have recently become friends with some women who belong to a church in my area.

they are fun, great women.

one of them used to be a witness actually but it has been many years.

joyfulfader

I have recently become friends with some women who belong to a church in my area. They are fun, great women. One of them used to be a witness actually but it has been many years. I went to a mini women's group meeting. I made plans to go on Sunday morning just to see what it was about. I had a huge revelation the Saturday night before i was to go. I was not fully comfortable about going to any church for oh so many reasons (I am opposed to organized religion as a whole now plus I have been having a serious agnostic leaning as of late).

So, Saturday I am watching a documentary that hit me hard and I had a panic attack regarding my impending church attendance. This was by no means because of fear of reprisal by anyone in the kh nor was it in any way related to my many years of indoctrination that churches are evil. I realized that I have never had any faith in a god. Never. Not as the pioneer nor as the elder's daughter and later, elder's wife. I did it ALL because I didn't know any better and because it was all I knew. I realize that I have always been at least agnostic if not atheist. I am astounded at this idea.

It is ironic because I would truly like to believe because I see some people I know where god has made a huge difference in their lives but I just can't believe. I can't believe in the god of the bible. I just can't. And to go to a place of worship where they tell you to put your faith and trust in god...it makes me ill. Physically.

I honestly feel that I would rather die than be forced to serve a god like the one in the bible. Jesus seemed like a good man but again...I have no faith at all that he was what the bible says he was/is.

The idea that I have never believed makes my choices and my life make so much more sense. I always have strived to better myself and be more and fight the system. Now I better understand why.

46

WTS overboard w/suggested presentation

by doinmypart in

the nov 2013 km contains an article that is ridiculous in its level of minutae.. they focus on the word "because".

they tell jws to use the word "because" when explaining why they're at the homeowner's door.

writing department, you wrote an article on the use of the word "because"?

joyfulfader

Though, as a side point. I learned to be a master debater regardless of the topic because of my exposure to the sink or swim method. I am thankful for that and that alone. The seriously biased knowledge was fully entrenched in my psyche and I could always turn it arounD when i was in. The suggested presentations are for the as I said before, the timid or the young, or the lazy. A true devotion to the org would make such nit picky words such as because unnecessary. The persuasive nature of the knowledge the org brags about should be quite enough to serve the purpose.

46

WTS overboard w/suggested presentation

by doinmypart in

the nov 2013 km contains an article that is ridiculous in its level of minutae.. they focus on the word "because".

they tell jws to use the word "because" when explaining why they're at the homeowner's door.

writing department, you wrote an article on the use of the word "because"?

joyfulfader

SFPW-not once did I ever use a suggested presentation as I was and always have been much more intellectually advanced than the outline provided. With the biblical training that the Society brags about, shouldn't the average publisher be quite beyond the simplistic nature of the KM presentations? While I feel as though these suggestions could be important to have as an option for the timid and the young to feel a sense of accomplishment in a nearly impossible field, if i believed they served any purpose other than to piss people off, those presentations were not ever meant for those who had the powers of persuasion which I, unfortunately did. I pioneered for over 7 years and still feel the need to apologize to every single person i spoke to. I was and am very attractive, smart and persuasive. I wish I had started earlier on something worthwhile. I regret every single moment of those 38 years. It was never about God. All about numbers.