hi all, i have been a "lurker" here for some time and feel like i want to share my experience in the hope that it relieves me of dark thoughts i can't shake.
i was "brought into the truth" by a guy, he had to let me study with a girl of course but always had me ear marked to preach in bangladesh one day.
fyi this is a guy who was disfellwoshipped many times and once shaved his head and sent it to bethel apparently it's something to do with some form of repentance in the bible or something?
Thank you all so much for your lovely and encouraging replies :)
I actually do feel quite a lot better since sharing, it's unhealthy to hang onto hatred for someone for so many years who doesn't even deserve my thoughts at all. This is a lovely place, not perfect which is great because that means everyone is REAL.
I look forward to participating a lot more now that I've broken my silence lol.
hi all, i have been a "lurker" here for some time and feel like i want to share my experience in the hope that it relieves me of dark thoughts i can't shake.
i was "brought into the truth" by a guy, he had to let me study with a girl of course but always had me ear marked to preach in bangladesh one day.
fyi this is a guy who was disfellwoshipped many times and once shaved his head and sent it to bethel apparently it's something to do with some form of repentance in the bible or something?
Hi all, I have been a "lurker" here for some time and feel like I want to share my experience in the hope that it relieves me of dark thoughts I can't shake. I was "brought into the truth" by a guy, he had to let me study with a girl of course but always had me ear marked to preach in Bangladesh one day. FYI this is a guy who was disfellwoshipped many times and once shaved his head and sent it to Bethel apparently it's something to do with some form of repentance in the Bible or something? Anyway I digress.
Before I was baptised he was disfellowshipped and I had broken things off with him, as I wanted to be spiritual and do things right. He threatened that when I came up from the baptismal water I would hear a gunshot. Him or me I never clarified lol. Anyway I was baptised with no drama, and heard nothing from except the random 5 am phone call with him crying quietly. Sadly my father passed away after I cared for him and I drove 2000 kms so he could be buried at his birthplace, which he always called home. Lo and behold my brother (actual brother) tells me Bud (the guy) was at the town!!!! He had driven all that way for who knows what reason. Still disfellowshipped, I'm still a very good little JW and I just thought how selfish of him. He came to the funeral of my father drunk, as he feels my Dad would have approved (WTF??!), yes my Dad loved a beer or 10 but it's a funeral seriously!!!!!!! Anyway as I left the cemetery he was waving his massive fucking hard bound NWT translation at the guy who buried my Dad, I don't know what religion he was a s I was very new to the Witness org and didn't know what was right or wrong. All I really knew was don't stand up at the hymn or whatever. So confusing and frightening :( So then this dick turns up to the drinks at the pub after the funeral, my Dad was a shearer, worked damn hard and loved his pub. I asked my relatives to ask him to leave and he said he wanted his 10$ back he put in the thing they passed around to help my brother and I out with expenses. Sigh none of this really is going anywhere, long story cut a little shorter, I'm inactive for the last 5 yrs or so, and he is back in and zealously ruining other peoples lives no doubt.
The CO who was assessing him to see if he could be re-instated was so impressed as this guy knows most scriptures off by heart, and all I could think was the men who know the words but it's not in their hearts. I used to love the Bible, didn't know anything about God or anything like that until the Witnesses at age 25 got me, and now I feel it's ruined any possible chance at a relationship with God as now I don't even know if there is one and if there is I assume I'm unrighteous as I turned my back on the "truth". So sad that so many peoiple have been hurt by this religions behaviour. My story isn't as harrowing as others but of course it's still awful to me, everytime I remember my beautiful Dad I also remember that effing lunatic!!! Ok chest relieved, thanks you all, this is a very nice place with good people. Sorry I lurk so much I'm a bit shy but not tonight :)
found this on another site a few years back.. .
it was never enough.. i remember the first time as a kid i comprehended that i could never do enough for the organization.. a circuit overseer was giving a talk and said,:.
sunday is meeting, and since you are dressed up you might as well do some field service after the meeting.. monday you should spend an hour or so in the evening preparing for the book study on tuesday.. tuesday is book study.. wednesday should be time for your family study, personal study, or preparation for all three.
Being raised as a Jehovahs witness has to this day instilled in my husband a feeling of never being good enough, Bangalore I can totally relate to what you are saying. It makes me understand why some old religions people used to flagellate themselves, at least then u feel like u r "feeling" and suffering enough to prove your devotion, or whatever.
Sorry I'm not very articulate but i try :)
for the first time in my life i have lost someone close to me that i loved very much.
my brother died last week of an asthma attack.
i just got back from the funeral that was held yesterday.
I am so sorry I have no words for you to comfort. :(
This has made me remember when my father died at 51 of cancer, I never truly grieved as I was a JW then and believed I would see him resurrected so why be so sad? Well that sucked because now 11 yrs later I still haven't come to terms and also have been told if I don't come back I won't see him again.
Anyway sorry to hijack the thread, your brother sounds amazing and I guess the only comfort is to be had by remembering the fun happy life filled man you knew, he will always be in your mind and no-one can take that away from you. :)
