Greetings,
Two years ago I had a kundalini experience. I felt energy or chi pulsate through each of my chakras, from the base of the spine to the crown of the head, then back, after that I felt like a newborn for three days. I felt like I was reborn spiritually and God gave me a new name - Indi. At the same time I began hearing a voice that told me it was God, and it also guided all my actions (when the presence was strong).
So for two years I thought I was hearing God. Sometimes it told me things about the future, and sometimes they came true. But lately, the voice of God started telling me lies that did not come true. I asked it "why are you telling me lies?" and it said "Apparently I am not GOd, I am just a voice inside, and I have been lying to you for two years".. I was devastated..
I don't know what to think anymore, I don't even know if God exists. I am having a spiritual crisis. if He exists, I really need proof of Him.. I want to know if He exists.
I want to understand what is this voice that tells me it is God, how come it feels different, and the words come from a deep meditation? and what is this force or energy (of this voice) that when strong guides all my movements and thoughts?
It's quite hard now, I am devastated, desperate to understand... I don't know if I can live without God.. I want to understand what is all this? Is all a big lie? A trick of my own mind? How do I KNOW if God is real?