I cannot speak for INFPs, of course, but I thrive in relative quiet and can function only in moderate level of sound. Anything more takes up my mental bandwidth and I cannot think. In my ideal environment, I can be on par with other people, and I no longer feel subhuman. Unfortunately, especially for males, modern culture is not kind to INFPs. The ideal model of masculinity often seems to be a loud yokel yelling booyah, and skydiving from a plane while guzzling a beer.
Londo111
JoinedPosts by Londo111
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111
What's your Myers-Briggs?
by Londo111 ini am infp.. some former witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us.
but it turned out we had an infp(me), two infjs, and an enfp.
therefore, it turned out we were all idealists.
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157
How come "Johhny the Bethelite" has not been exposed?
by hotspur ini can't believe johnny the bethelite has not been uncovered.
unless, of course, he doesn't exist!
hoping not to give koolaidman any more exposure here but.... .
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Londo111
As the Who says, "I'll get on my knees and pray we don't get fooled again."
After so many years of being fooled, did they not think the folks here would give things extra scrutiny? After deconstructing the Society's mistruths, did they think they could get away with it?
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111
What's your Myers-Briggs?
by Londo111 ini am infp.. some former witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us.
but it turned out we had an infp(me), two infjs, and an enfp.
therefore, it turned out we were all idealists.
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Londo111
Field service wounded me often. It forced me to knock on the door of some nasty people, who said some pretty cruel and thoughtless things. Sometimes what they said stuck in my heart like an arrow for days, weeks, months. The advice always was, "Don't take it personally." But how could I not? I am a person with feelings.
Especially in the old money neighborhoods, people could be quite vicious. I remember I was paired with a little boy, he was only 3 or 4. Bless him, he insisted that it was his turn and me being the pushover I am, let him speak. So the woman came to the door and the boy tried to offer her a track. She got down on her knees, looked at him straight in the eye and said sternly, "You are being lied to!" When the boy shook his head and said, "No…" Her face got very steely and she slammed the door. Well, the boy just balled and balled and I did my best to console him at the end of the driveway. After he calmed down, he wanted to go talk to her again. He had such an innocent heart.
I really don't care what religion or non-religion a person is, or how much you may dislike a group, you just don't do that to a child…or an adult for that matter. That is definitely not the way to win hearts and minds.
I hated Saturday mornings and as the day approached, the feeling of dread and depression would build and build. Friday nights, I really couldn't do much, because I couldn't enjoy it. I had to prepare my heart for the next morning. The best part of the week was after service, because it was the longest part of the week before I had to knock on another door. I often wished there was an 'alternative service' that I could do in support of the ministry, something that didn't involve me having to convince people a long list of beliefs. I wanted to leave that to people more gifted in it than I. No matter how many years passed, I was no getting better at it, nor was my anxiety decreasing.
Therefore I was a low hour publisher. Regular…but from what I surmised, bloodguilty and doomed to destruction at Armageddon. And of course, because I was below average, my 'privileges' were taken away, like mike carrying. That made me feel like I was a terrible person. How could I ever have any self-esteem in such an environment? The thing about 'underserved kindness', is that it's 'underserved' and can be taken away at any time and for any reason. Being only deserving of death, a person is only one failing away from the coming Wrath, and should be happy with any morsel of underserved kindness granted. Mercy might be something granted once, but don't expect it again. Pioneer or die.
I love people. However, it is the difference between drinking a cool glass of water and jumping in a raging river. Anything above four people and things start to get uncomfortable to me. Meetings could be difficult and I tried to sit somewhere that drew the least attention. Of course, back rows are always cordoned off and the encouragement is to sit near the front. After the meeting, the noise level of conversations bothered me…I felt like I was in the middle of a bee's nest.
It's the reason that I never went back to a meeting after getting disfellowshipped. After they made the final decision, I made it to the next meeting, a week before the announcement, and I started to have a panic attack. I couldn't imagine what things would be like after the announcement, entering in before everyone's speculating and judgmental eyes twice a week.
Of course, the elders, nor the organization, cared. I was fodder. They make no allowance for social anxiety. Their answer was basically to pop pills, take meds. And my answer was, NO--I don't want the side effects! Being introverted or shy is not a sin. Something is very wrong if someone has to medicate themselves in order to be approved by God.
Reading In Search Of Christian Freedom was so enlightening. Things like door-to-door or meeting in a large crowd in an expensive building made for that purpose is not the model of first-century Christianity.
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What's your Myers-Briggs?
by Londo111 ini am infp.. some former witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us.
but it turned out we had an infp(me), two infjs, and an enfp.
therefore, it turned out we were all idealists.
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Londo111
Myers-Briggs is not a perfect model in all cases, but like anything I feel the paradigm
works pretty well, and is pretty darn useful. A person answers questions and they get put into one of sixteen buckets. I guess as an INFP, I don't demand the Only True Personality Test that cannot be questioned, but ones that act as a mirror, positing interesting possibilities. Maybe I like my diamonds in the rough.
For work, I took a Personalysis class, another personality paradigm. My instinctive, socialized, and rational were all dominant Blue. I noticed that other people in my class had different dominant colors in their pyramid, but I seemed to be the only person who was consistently one color. I've never learned what the means--whether it was good or bad or both or neither.
I was hoping it meant I was genuine through and through and that what people saw on the outside was pretty much what I was on the inside. But somebody else speculated that perhaps it means I've never grown or developed--could it be that I was never allowed to grow?
Steve Hassan mentions that people have a real identity and then an identity imposed upon them by the group, that once people leave, they revert to their real identity. I do worry sometimes that after 39 years, there is no real me but the imposed identity. Other than meetings, field service and being shunned, my lifestyle and behavior is pretty much what it was before. Only my outlook is different. For someone who claims to relish the possibilities, I guess it mostly stays in the theoretical.
BTW-- I am floored by how many INTJs there are on JWN.
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61
Have your faith been made stronger or made weaker since coming here?
by jam inme personally, considerably weaker.
in fact i have.
become an agnostic.. since i discovered this site over 6-7 yrs, we have.
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Londo111
There is nothing more detrimental to Christianity than religious Fundamentalism. Nine months ago, I thought that I would end up Agnostic or Atheist, but now that I am emerging from the 'other side' of Watchtower Land, I'm starting to lean toward a deep-seated belief in an all-loving Supreme Entity from which reality derives its existence.
I think my faith the Scriptures is finally allowed to mature. Arguing over the historicity over certain passages is like attempting to argue whether or not the man who sold all his things for a Pearl of high value was a literal account or not. It would completely miss the point. Of course, subconsciously, my real self started to realize this a few years before my Exit. Toward the end, I was having serious problems with a literal Eden story and saw no problems reconciling Genesis 1 and the evolution of the species by mutation and natural selection.
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111
What's your Myers-Briggs?
by Londo111 ini am infp.. some former witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us.
but it turned out we had an infp(me), two infjs, and an enfp.
therefore, it turned out we were all idealists.
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Londo111
ESFPs are usually the life of the party...
Alas, in all our cases we had parents that were in...so we didn't get involved on our own free will. I was never forced to get baptized, but information control gave me no other option...
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111
What's your Myers-Briggs?
by Londo111 ini am infp.. some former witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us.
but it turned out we had an infp(me), two infjs, and an enfp.
therefore, it turned out we were all idealists.
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Londo111
Alas, I thought StopTheTears was doing a fundamentalist parody, showing how extreme views can stumble people from Christianity. I've had too much of that dogmatic thinking during my time in the organization. I once asked someone in conversation what her MB was and she said, "All I need is what the Faithful Slave gives me."
Being an INFP in the organization was tough. Being introverted, field service was torture. Neither did I like judging people, either in the organization or without, and it bothered my how much I saw. Sometimes I felt the Society had a war on imagination, not only in restricting entertainment, but having such a rigid regiment that had to be adhered to. And any feelings a person had were shoved aside as unimportant. 'Principle' came first, but usually the principle was whatever legalistic interpretations that Society had cooked up.
I did read somewhere that a study found that some high control groups tend to transform people into an ESFJ.
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111
What's your Myers-Briggs?
by Londo111 ini am infp.. some former witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us.
but it turned out we had an infp(me), two infjs, and an enfp.
therefore, it turned out we were all idealists.
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Londo111
Yes, high 5! INFPs are never the life of the party, but they are the life of the library!
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111
What's your Myers-Briggs?
by Londo111 ini am infp.. some former witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us.
but it turned out we had an infp(me), two infjs, and an enfp.
therefore, it turned out we were all idealists.
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Londo111
I am INFP.
Some former Witnesses in my hometown had a meetup last night...alas, only four of us. But it turned out we had an INFP(me), two INFJs, and an ENFP. Therefore, it turned out we were all Idealists. It made me curious about folks on JWN.
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Where to Worship???
by enda75 ini haven't been to a meeting in years but always thought about going back.
i can't go back now that i realize that i was raised in a cult.
i can't go to church because i have been brainwashed that it's false religion.
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Londo111
What about collection plates? Or is this a myth as well?