Posts by happysunshine

16

The Spanking Room

by jamiebowers in

http://www.earnedmedia.org/wppg09161.htm

happysunshine

Some reader comments here:

http://www.amazon.com/Spanking-Room-Childs-Jehovah-Witnesses/dp/1579219659

Haven't read it myself, but the outline is a common one. As a fundamentalist evangelical totalist group, physical violence as a form of discipline in certainly encouraged, so there is a higher chance of abuse than the general public. I know when/where I grew up, physical violence as a regular disciplinary tool was not encouraged in the community. But it was in the congregation. It was used regularly with us kids. On one occasion I had moved while being lashed with a belt, and had bright purple marks across my legs for days after, so my parents wrote a note to the school excusing me from gym class, as they were afraid the teacher would get involved. I was told it was all my fault for moving while being beaten.

22

Got My Nose Pierced

by Quester55 in

i've always wanted my nose pierced cause i think its so cute and sexy.

my boyfriend thinks so too.

so anyway, i got the piercing and went to the hall.

happysunshine

Right on. Sounds like you enjoy it.

I think piercings are pretty tame, as they can disappear when you want them too. They even heal.

I would wait on the tattoo until you're REALLY sure. That is permanent. And it may be a pain in the ass later. Why not try a tiny one on your ankle or something for now? That would be really easy to hide.

As a side, my brother in law was a rocker when he was younger, and got a bunch of ink done on his arm. A few years ago he took over his father-in-law's business, where tattoos would impact business really badly. Tattoos here tend to be associated with the Yakuza, or trouble in general. So he got them all burned off with laser surgery. His arm is all scarred up now.

13

This feather may look worthless, ...

by compound complex in

the joy luck club:.

"this feather may look worthless, but it comes from afar and carries with it all my good intentions.".

did you read amy tan's book or see the movie of the same title?.

happysunshine

I read JLC a few years ago. A bit over the top at times (I guess a lot of fiction is by necessity), but a good look into the ideas of one ABC on her culture.

I have also been to China. To be honest, it didn't make the best impression on me of all the countries I've been to. But it was definitely an experience.

14

Steve Hassan - "Exit counselor"

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i just finished his book "combatting cult mind control", and was very inspired.

he is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups.

his web site here:.

happysunshine

Interesting stuff.

Amharet, I'll let you know how it goes.

Things have gotten very difficult recently. And I have a lot of anger about the whole issue. So I'm more inclined now to just let them know straight. I have a lot of things I need to say to them.

14

Steve Hassan - "Exit counselor"

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i just finished his book "combatting cult mind control", and was very inspired.

he is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups.

his web site here:.

happysunshine

That's encouraging!

14

Steve Hassan - "Exit counselor"

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i just finished his book "combatting cult mind control", and was very inspired.

he is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups.

his web site here:.

happysunshine

Cheers for the interest.

Actually, I think most of the book info could be used pretty much as is. If you choose to go that route, it just requires a bit of retooling. So (1)people raised in the group could be dealt with as a long term member. And (2) rather than use the "former identity" (as I believe Steve refers to it - basically what the person was like before joining), one could use an alternative identity, perhaps an idealized mishmash of what the person could be like if they hadn't been in that group. Obviously knowing how they tick, what they like/dislike, have potential for, etc., will help a lot.

Of course, this strikes me as a tremendous challenge, and maybe best looked at as a long-term, hit/miss kind of thing. But then again, the truth is powerful.

I was kind of hoping there would be some exit counselors on this site who could give me some new ideas.

14

Steve Hassan - "Exit counselor"

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i just finished his book "combatting cult mind control", and was very inspired.

he is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups.

his web site here:.

happysunshine

I just finished his book "Combatting Cult Mind Control", and was very inspired. He is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups. His web site here:

http://www.freedomofmind.com/

An interesting video of him training health professionals is here:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5351483270625598640

Anyway, I was wanting to use some of his techniques to try and talk with my family. While there is a lot I can use, one challenge I have is that the approach he outlines in the book (and subsequent examples) are for people who joined up into these groups. In the case of my brother and sister, they were born into this group, so I'm wondering how to apply some of Hassan's points, for example "accessing the pre-cult identity". Also, the task seems a bit overwhelming, as I'm the only one who's not in the cult. Any ideas?

Anyway, thanks a ton for any help!

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

jgnat- I admire the direction you are taking with things.

But to be honest, I don't know if I have the strength to do that. I suffered a lot growing up. I have a new life now, in every way made completely separate from them since 10 years ago. I have a lot of responsibilities now with my new family and career. I believe part of the reason I made it this far is because I knew when to take a step back.

I am worried about losing my mental peace if I take the kind of open arms approach I believe you are suggesting, because chances are they will do something hurtful to me based on WTS training. I am extremely upset about the whole thing. I have had an overall benevolent approach to the whole issue up until 5 years ago. I made limited ventures into their world, with mixed results, but eventually they made the WTS a major issue. It was very uncomfortable, because we really liked each other, and we all saw the WTS issue coming, and it was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was struggling so hard to improve my life, and I could only take so much shit from them.

Since 5 years ago, I have taken a much more standoffish approach. Recently, I make no efforts to contact them. Obviously, it weighs very heavy on my mind, particularly with recent developments in my life. But a recent e-mail I got had a nasty undertone to it that made me very upset, considering recent events in our family.

Now, I would just like to clear things up, and move on emotionally and socially in my life. I need to do this for several reasons. I will be fair about it, but I will say what I feel needs to be said, and I will say it very clearly. And I will make it clear to anyone else who may be involved. Therefore the request in my original post for clear outline of 'reasons'. They say whatever they want to me for years, and I am the one who has to carry the burden and play diplomat. Well, now I feel it would be healthy to clear that up.

Again, I think what you are doing is great. And I am curious about it. I just don't think its safe for me to do that.

Terry's comments made me think about how many people don't have to have the same world view to have intimacy, but do need to be comfortable with the same paradigm of communication.

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

Ok, so there's a couple of points. Are there any WT quotes or such that paint a clear picture for people with no real knowledge of what JWs believe?

thanks again

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

I guess I'm getting at the idea of how, in reality, my family won't have a relationship with me. But if pressed by extended relatives or the public, they will claim with a big smile that they are just like any other family and things are fine and that the WTS does not break up families.

Obviously we know this is lying. But I'm asking for help to make a list to explain the reality clearly to people who are interested, and even to explain it clearly to my family when sparks fly and its time to clarify our actual relationship.