Hang in there! Don't be so hard on yourself. There is much help for this now-a-days. Please get help and see a doctor. I am a recovering alcoholic myself, I have over 2 years sobriety. I got help... I couldn't do it alone... The American diet is trash, not sure where you live but many other countries are not much different. Netflix has many good movies on health and eating right. There also is good advice on youtube. Many doctors are not up on nutrition and they just want to prescribe a pill. Avoid those kind of doctors. I liked the movie, "Forks Over Knives" on Netflix. I still eat some meat and dairy but not as much these days. If you eat right, like mostly fruits and vegetables you can eat as much as you want. Try to walk everyday if you can. Some health food stores can offer good advice too. Just watchout for people who try to scam you for money with their new great diet. I wouldn't go for those TV scams myself... There is plenty of FREE information out there. If you want help from God then my opinion is, EAT what he made. Stay away from the junk food MAN made. Learn as much as you can about eating right. The saying, "we are what we eat" I believe is true. Hang in there, you can do it
May God bless your efforts! My prayers are with you,
Greybeard