Posts by Mim

3

Research Request-JW or ExJW Aussie women

by Mim in

jw
friends

my name is mim hughes (that is my real name:)) and i am a canadian, exjw (after 22 years) 35 years old.

i am beginning my phd at the university of south adelaide in adelaide sa in july of this year.

my dissertation deals with the experiences of women who are currently jw or were jw.

Mim

Hello! My name is Mim Hughes (that is my real name:)) and I am a Canadian, exJW (after 22 years) 35 years old. I am beginning my PhD at the University of South Adelaide in Adelaide SA in July of this year. My dissertation deals with the experiences of women who are currently JW or were JW. I would like a mix of each.

I am interested in your life as a Jehovah's Witness, what induced you to join, how you feel now about the faith, and if you have left, why you have left, and how you are coping with that leaving. This is a bare outline, of course it can be deviated from.

If you are interested in being a partner in my research I would LOVE to hear from you. I can assure you of confidentiality, this will be in writing, I sign it, you sign it, and as this work is done under the auspices of an IPRS scholarship for postgraduate research at UNISA I assure you this is a "serious" work, I will not be "playing" with your lives and experiences.

I can be reached at [email protected] and I would be particularly interested in hearing from women in remote parts of Australia, or aboriginal women. To tell you a bit about myself, I am 35, have a Bachelor's degree first class in women's studies and history. I am easy-going, like to laugh, and am very passionate about working with JW women on this project. I can be relied upon to be discreet and compassionate. I was a Jehovah's Witness from the age of 5, with a break between 17 and 21, until the age of 30. I am disfellowshipped so I understand the need for discretion in this research so as not to disturb other's lives and I can assure I have no intention of doing so. If you are still a JW woman you can be assured no revealing details or indiscreet discussion shall come from me as to your identity or exact whereabout's in Australia.

I would be happy to travel to come to see you. I hope to hear from you soon.

I wish you all peace
Mim Hughes

173

PEDOPHILES are to WTS as flies are to honey?

by Focus in

w73 11/15 703-4 questions from readers ***.

do paul's words at 1 corinthians 6:1-7 mean that under no circumstances should a christian take to court a case involving a fellow believer?

-u.s.a. here paul was showing the corinthian christians the inconsistency of taking disputes between christians before secular tribunals.

Mim

Holy shit...I am blind. The only question I am left with is HOW do you defend the indefensible? My very best friend in the entire world, still is, was continually raped by her father from the age of two on. At one point he was an elder. Her Mom caught him in the act several times, nothing was said. She told me at the age of twelve, I told my mother, and staunch JW that she is she called me a liar and slapped my face. It was made very clear to me that if I ever said anything to anyone I would get beaten very badly. Others in the congregation knew at this time, she had told other people, and nothing was done or said. And we are NOT talking about just feeling around in the panties, but rape of a child by her father an elder, who then molested others in the congregation. He left after he got a 17 year old pregnant.

Hey larc...:) And AlanF...amazing stuff...and the gentleman who takes off after F*iend has my undying admiration. I mean that sincerly. I could go on about this from an academic perspective, my dissertation is on JW's and women, but I think reality works best and the above is pure, unadulterated reality. SO...how do you defend the indefensible? You don't that's how, unless you wish to class yourself with and bind yourself too, the religious slut that IS the WBTS.

Peace
mim

36

Assemblies...conventions...special days...

by NikL in

jw
friends

there is a phenomenon in dub dom that i have always hated.

the circuit/district convention.. people will spend hard earned money, use up any vacation they may have to travel to a city they don't really have any particular reason to see to sit for entire days and listen to the same b.s.

they could sit and listen to at the meetings in their home kingdom hall.

Mim

Simon: HOW TO BE A RURAL CANADIAN!!!

Say "eh" (pronounced ay) after every sentence ...as in "damn cold eh?"
Drink beer, and while drinking say "eh" after every swallow:)
Wear flannel and blue jeans, topped off by a baseball cap.
When working hard on something tell people you are "just given'er eh?"
Hunt and ice fish
Listen to country music or alternatively ACDC.
Take great pride in never having visited "Tarrannaaaa..." (Toronto) or "Vancooooooverrrrr" (Vancouver).
Enjoy being down to earth and hard working, eat lots of barbecue, bear, moose and deer.

36

Assemblies...conventions...special days...

by NikL in

jw
friends

there is a phenomenon in dub dom that i have always hated.

the circuit/district convention.. people will spend hard earned money, use up any vacation they may have to travel to a city they don't really have any particular reason to see to sit for entire days and listen to the same b.s.

they could sit and listen to at the meetings in their home kingdom hall.

Mim

Simon: I'm in northern British Columbia, up north, very cold, a bit isolated, lots of moose, loggers, cougars, mounties in serge:) Typical Canadiana...very beautiful

Mim

36

Assemblies...conventions...special days...

by NikL in

jw
friends

there is a phenomenon in dub dom that i have always hated.

the circuit/district convention.. people will spend hard earned money, use up any vacation they may have to travel to a city they don't really have any particular reason to see to sit for entire days and listen to the same b.s.

they could sit and listen to at the meetings in their home kingdom hall.

Mim

Can you tell I'm Canadian? "Give er" Next I'll be saying "eh" :)

Mim

36

Assemblies...conventions...special days...

by NikL in

jw
friends

there is a phenomenon in dub dom that i have always hated.

the circuit/district convention.. people will spend hard earned money, use up any vacation they may have to travel to a city they don't really have any particular reason to see to sit for entire days and listen to the same b.s.

they could sit and listen to at the meetings in their home kingdom hall.

Mim

I remember assemblies and taking my kids all while living under the stigma of being a sister with an "unbelieving" mate! I still think alot of the other sisters were jealous.:) Bob used to come and get the kids after lunch so I could listen to the rest of the meeting. Yes I used to take notes, I still have some actually. As Bob was not a JW I had a lot more freedom than any of my witness friends, I could work, I could have an opinion, I didn't have to dress like a frump. Remember those horrid wide collared dresses, with white nylons and flat shoes? I haven't worn nylons since leaving the dubs and I gave all my "meeting clothes" away to the Salvation Army. Poetic justice that.

My bum used to just KILL me after the 3 day DC's. I remember having a numb bum for a day or two afterward. And the boredom. When I was pregnant with the twins in 94, my last year, I was so ill. The smell of anything made me sick. I couldn't go to the meetings or the conventions because getting in our car, the smell of the interior, it was new made me so ill. The elders came to see me and said I should be willing to barf all the way to the KH (40 minutes) just to take in the spiritual food!! What about my physical food?:) Bob wouldn't let me go and that was the beginning of the end.

My fantasy is to go to the convention with a bullhorn and a sign and just give 'er. Much more fun to be apostate than apathetic and trapped!

Mim

39

If you went back...

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

ive not been to a meeting in five years probably.

yet my husband still goes and i always envision him going in and the hardy handshakes he gives, greeting and being greeted, sitting there with all those suits with the secrets hidden inside, and all those pretty dresses hiding the pain.

if i wasnt disassociated, i wonder if i would be bolder, speak up, be honest with the "friends" instead of toeing the company line.

Mim

Hey all, its very nice to meet you. To answer the question of have I done other projects I have writen several articles on Jehovah's Witness women, and spoken extensively about them.
But my dissertation is the "big one" so to speak:)

I am so enjoying reading everyone's thoughts and experiences. Re: the Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia back in the early nineties when I was in my middle twenties, I was diagnosed with CF. I was just exhausted all the time. I realize now that I was desperately trying to get "out" of the meetings and service ect. I am NOT suggesting that anyone else does this, but subconciously I was just plain tired of being a JW. Noone believed me. JW's can be very punitive on those who are ill I find. And I was ill, regardless of what was causing it.

I hated being a Jehovah's Witness, I know that now. I was always wrestling with my "self" who I was, who I am. My husband was not a Witness, I married him during a hiatus from the truth at 21 in 1987. I was baptized in 89 at the age of 23. I had been raised in the religion from the age of four. I used to pray at the doors that noone was home. I hated the meetings. I used to count paragraphs in the Watchtower:) Anyone else do that? Bob was awesome, he still is. We managed to survive my leaving, and for awhile I left him, I was so torn apart. The CF symptoms have been gone since I left. Just disappeared.

With all that I saw women go through in the religion for so many years, and women do suffer, I am now teaching and working with and for women. It REALLY fuels my feminism and convinces me that women need to nurture themselves, their autonomy and their talents. I saw someone's post that said "pretty dresses hiding the pain" and I thought that was SO right. No one speaks "truth" in that organization, no matter what they say. Never be afraid of anger folks, that is one thing that I have found. It got me through a four year degree with straight A's, and I have three young boys. Its what you do with it. I tell myself when I am down or depressed or having difficulty because of emotional JW fallout that I MUST do well, I must continue to excel, that I can't let go of what needs to be done, of what needs to be said.

I work out, I'm vegetarian and I see a counselor who also is an exJW. It all helps. I hope no one minds this post, its good to talk to others again who are going through all this crap and who I know "get" it.:)

Got to get the little guys to school...

Peace
mim

39

If you went back...

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

ive not been to a meeting in five years probably.

yet my husband still goes and i always envision him going in and the hardy handshakes he gives, greeting and being greeted, sitting there with all those suits with the secrets hidden inside, and all those pretty dresses hiding the pain.

if i wasnt disassociated, i wonder if i would be bolder, speak up, be honest with the "friends" instead of toeing the company line.

Mim

I am familiar with qualitative content scoring, I don't intend to use it. I tend to keep my research straightforward and try to stick to the way the participants intended their narrative to sounds. This for me is more about "what" the work says collectively. Its not intended as my voice filtered through crucial analysis. Feminist research is a tad different and it is this approach that interests me.

39

If you went back...

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

ive not been to a meeting in five years probably.

yet my husband still goes and i always envision him going in and the hardy handshakes he gives, greeting and being greeted, sitting there with all those suits with the secrets hidden inside, and all those pretty dresses hiding the pain.

if i wasnt disassociated, i wonder if i would be bolder, speak up, be honest with the "friends" instead of toeing the company line.

Mim

Well...:) I'm always tempted by interest in my work. No umbrage taken:) You know, that comment you made about the need for a blend in research is one of my pet theories actually:) My former boss is a psychologist who is a firm believer in the need for a mix of the two, numbers and the personal if you will, in order to have a more balanced outcome to your work. I have never said that I am objective, my proposal to the university in Adelaide stated that very clearly. As a feminist I don't believe in objectivity as an obtainable, or particularly welcome ideal. With the decline in actual numbers of JW's in Australia I am most interested to see what brought the women in, what factors, (hence the constructivist paradigm), the process that happens when they begin to think of leaving, ie. any resulting cognitive dissonance and what happens when they leave, for good or evil. I would like to talk to women in Australia who are still JW's, and will be spending time up north looking at the particular problems of cultural denial and aboriginal women.

39

If you went back...

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

ive not been to a meeting in five years probably.

yet my husband still goes and i always envision him going in and the hardy handshakes he gives, greeting and being greeted, sitting there with all those suits with the secrets hidden inside, and all those pretty dresses hiding the pain.

if i wasnt disassociated, i wonder if i would be bolder, speak up, be honest with the "friends" instead of toeing the company line.

Mim

My my my, how quickly one judges. They don't usually hand out scholarships to those who are "flippant and trite." And I do not have to explain myself to one such as yourself! I am simply enjoying this forum for all that it is. Its supposed to be fun! That reply was a direct comment for someone else's quote about being a pile of trouble for the local congregation. That is why I say "hey that's me."

Make you a deal old timer, you ignore me and I'll ignore you!

Mim