You’re all right, a bit more clarification is necessary. My fiancé broke away from JW years ago, went off to college etc…Her journey took place long before she meant me and she went through the hardships that one must in order to be a free thinking individual. I was nowhere near the picture at the time. She is very intelligent, is graduating with both a Biology and Chemistry degree(I mention this to give credence to her rationality and understanding of science and teachings outside of religion) and she actively engages in all types/kinds of behavior that JW would greatly frown upon, with little effect on her conscience about it.
It seems obvious she knows that the Watchtower is incorrect. Of course there are lingering psychological issues that may arise, her confidence in herself etc…which are perfectly normal for anyone no matter what religion/background you break away from. They never teeter on reversion or anything close to it. She is not a JW in any sense of the belief system or association. I know for certain, as certain as one can be of another’s heart and mind.
My fiancé is indeed charming, but her relationship with her mother is complicated. She is not susceptible to joining the clan, but of course would love it if there were a way to build a healthy relationship with her mother/father without the umbrella of disapproval from them. Sadly, as is the case with most ideologues, this relationship may be a pipe dream.
As for completely writing her off simply because of her in-laws being JW’s, I have to highly disagree with this line of thinking. This is the greatest relationship I’ve ever been in. My fiancé has become such a loving, strong, and emotionally intelligent person. I’d just like to remind that I have also, myself, broken away from a religious upbringing and joined the Church of Reality. My parents still hold true to their ways and the last thing I would want is for someone to judge me for what their beliefs are.
There is the possibility that they will be disfellowshipped, I don’t know how they navigate the situation in their Kingdom Hall. I can only imagine that they don’t give the whole truth to the ‘Elders,’ so nothing is on the line for them yet.
As for the hardships, yes, of course there will be some. But I’m also a rational human being capable of navigating murky ideological waters, necessary to facilitate dialogue between two parties. Yes, I’ll never take on JW’s beliefs or of any particular ‘world religion,’ and the differences between my Fiance and I’s thinking will be stark, relative to our in-laws. But growth is required from them in order to be able to take part in their sons/daughters lives, not just I. And you can understand how both my Fiance and I have become accustomed to ‘going it alone’ and not really needing the approval of others in order to feel confident that we are good, loving people trying to live the best life we know how to, figuring it all out along the way.