Welcome atacrossroads :)
Many hugs for you.
I was married to a active-but-not-super-fanatical JW, and I was not a believer but baptised and didn't do research as I was pretty good at doing what I was told, I was just miserable. I eventually started researching, including reading CoC etc and online, verified what I had always thought about the religion, expressed some views delicately to my husband, and he knew I had the CoC book even though I hid it.
He refused to talk about it, I stopped going to meetings, he would just say I was sick for months and no one really bothered me as I was not close to anyone in the congregation anyway, I kept my distance always and never made close friends.
Although he never seemed very devout, he would still refuse to talk about anything related to the religion that wasn't study for the meetings, and was very upset when I posted my DA letter (I did it more as a symbolic thing, not because I had to, and I wanted to make sure I didn't get home visits by elders). While I was at home he would look over my shoulder when I was on the computer to make sure I wasn't looking at apostate sites and wasn't chatting to my work friends about him. He wouldn't let my worldly work friends in the house, and if they dropped me off from work, or picked me up (I didn't have a car and car pooled sometimes) we had to talk outside and he refused to meet them.
We weren't close anyway, not sure there was ever love there (I married young dutifully to get some independence from my parents), so eventually after our problems escalated and he refused to go to counselling with me or on his own to try and talk about our different beliefs and how we could make it work together, I left him.
It was too hard for me to try and make it work if he wouldn't also try and make it work from his side. He didn't want the divorce, and made the property settlement as difficult as he could (we had a house that we both owned). But he didn't want to be with me either as an 'apostate'. So I feel that I had no choice but to leave, and all things considered since, it was by far the best decision I could have made for myself.
