larc

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Posts by larc

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  87

  Heresy of the Month

  by thinker in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  heresy of the month (from a website).

  don't you hate it when someone you know comes up with some new thing that you have never heard about?

  you sit there in apparent ignorance as they pontificate about the proofs and merits of some idea so far beyond common knowledge that it can only be revealed by people of exceptional enlightenment such as they.

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  larc

  Brother Thinker,

  We have a serious matter we have to discuss, and you know we have to be careful in establishing doctrine during the first few weeks of our Hersey. What we do now could affect the flock for a long time to come.

  You brought us the wonderful new light of thinness through prayer. Now, does that imply that we believe in healing? I tried it a couple times down at The White Winged Gospel Church, and well I wasn't too good at it. A few years ago, I wanted to try a group effort. The last time he was in the U.S., I called the pope and asked if he would represent the Catholics and I would represent the Protestants, and through our combined efforts, we could heal the Cinncinnattie Bengals. Unfortunately, we couldn't coordinate our schedule and that poor team is still pitiful to this day.

  Another thing, if we can develope this talent of healing, we need to find out if this will be covered under medical insurance. I think that we could offer a 20% discount off the cost of regular medical fees.

  I know that you give this matter the serious thought that it so rightly deserves.
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  46

  Advantages of being a JW

  by ISP in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  clearly there is a great deal of anti-jw sentiment here and elsewhere for that matter.

  such feelings are generally directed at those at the heart of the organisation and there are no such feelings for the rank and file who are often very genuine people.. in actual fact there are some advantages in being a fully loaded jw and to be fair it would be interesting to note them down.

  they can be factual or whimsical or both.

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  larc

  Good Question,

  I thought of a couple more. You don't run the risk of getting killed in combat in a war. If you are smart, but too lazy to go to college, you will be seen as righteous. If you're a man, you probably don't have to worry about your wife getting mouthy with you. You can always accept presents, even if you don't give them. You also save money by not giving to charities. If you are too lazy to work over time, you can turn it down and feel holy. Also, you can spend all your money, because there is no need to save for retirement.

  Hey, I think I am going to go back.:):):)
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  42

  Can You Believe THIS?

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  from the jw-media site http://www.jw-media.org.

  ::::do you believe that you are the only ones who will be saved?.

  many millions who have lived in centuries past and who were not jehovah's witnesses will come back in a resurrection and have an opportunity for life.

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  larc

  I think the devious part is the "only Jehovah knows a person's heart". This implies that good people of other religions will be OK. Of course, we all know that JW's don't believe this. They believe that only the submissive, meek, teachable sheep that they bring in will be saved. The vast majority of people, they believe, are black hearts doomed for destruction. They use the right language that any good sales person would use to try to close the deal.
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  17

  I am a non-witness in love with one. help please

  by jarrod in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am a man who is in love with a witness.

  we have been in a relationship for 3 years full of guilt and fear and now it seems like it may be the end.

  is it possible or is there a way for me to have my own belief and marry a jw?

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  larc

  Another thing you need to consider is, what life will be like if she remains loyal to the religion. She won't be home a lot in the evenings and on weekends. She will be at 5 meetings a week and will be going from door to door. Also, she wil not be celebrating the following with you and your relatives: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, 4th of July, Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve. When you have children she won't want them do any of this plus no trick or treating at Halloween. Also, she won't want the children to be involved in any extra-curricular activities at school.

  Are you ready for this life style?
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  39

  Spy vs. Spy

  by TR in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  prisca's comments about wol made me wonder about official wts sanctioned spies and moles.

  we all know for a fact that to the wts lies are ok, and spying does happen.

  does anyone know of officially appointed wts spies, or do hard-core militant and/or plain old sneaky jw's just feel it is their duty?

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  larc

  Mommy,

  Did you want your picture off because of what the bad guy wrote?

  Simon,

  If you haven't already checked out the thread about the guy who wants to marry mommie. Please do. There's bad stuff over there.
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  87

  Heresy of the Month

  by thinker in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  heresy of the month (from a website).

  don't you hate it when someone you know comes up with some new thing that you have never heard about?

  you sit there in apparent ignorance as they pontificate about the proofs and merits of some idea so far beyond common knowledge that it can only be revealed by people of exceptional enlightenment such as they.

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  larc

  Sister Eyes keep your mind off those thighs!

  I know those troublesome demon possessed songs. I keep thinkin, "keep you eyes on those pies" and pies are a bigger sin than fries, so yes sister I do have my cross to bear. I try to think of other songs. For a man type person this one works pretty well. It's called Boney Moroney, and it goes like this here, "I got a gal named Boney Moroney. She's as skinny as a stick of macaroni. See her rock and roll with her blue jeans on. Not very fat, just skin and bone, but I love her. She loves me, maken love underneath the apple tree." Now, that works for me, but I don't know what works for the opposite gender type person.

  Before you find the song for you, maybe this song will help restore your self esteem: "Angel eyes, I really love you so. Angel eyes. just had to let you know, just how I love you, you darlin angel eyes....pretty little, pretty little, pretty little, angel eyes"

  Well I'm Dick Clark and that's some of the great hits from the 50's that you will get on our classic Time Life Series. Order today and you will get a free subscription to the Leaning Tower and the Asleep magazine.

  Flock.... reach into your jeans for that green salad of salvation. Jump and shout and turn your pockets inside out! Get your music, your magazines and we will include your combination prayer cloth and shammy. With your prayer cloth and shammy you can pray and then go polish your car!

  I'm brother Larc, and when I preach I am known as the Reverend Deuteronomy Skaggs. I preach at the White Winged Gospel Church every Sunday from the Book of Hominominies, so stop in next Sundy and bring cash.
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  21

  Mommy I want to marry you !!!!!

  by Maxee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello mommy, let me get straight to the point here - (not like amicus who has been desperately trying in vain to sweet talk his way into sevens panties) - i think you are a living doll and i would like to marry you right now.

  yes you can take this as a proposal.

  i need to get some service in on you every month starting immediately.

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  larc

  Bub'

  You don't talk from your mind or your heart. You talk frome your groin.
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  21

  Mommy I want to marry you !!!!!

  by Maxee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello mommy, let me get straight to the point here - (not like amicus who has been desperately trying in vain to sweet talk his way into sevens panties) - i think you are a living doll and i would like to marry you right now.

  yes you can take this as a proposal.

  i need to get some service in on you every month starting immediately.

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  larc

  Hey Amicus,

  You did the right thing. I didn't care for his "aura" either, and spent considerable time and effort trying to show him what a low life he really is. Although I didn't state it, it was part of what I did to shield the women here from further degradation, so I think it is fine that you were a "Self Appointed Defender."

  I would like to tell you a story about my wife. We used to go to this little neighborhood bar. One time I had to take a trip out of town, and she felt comfortable going into that bar by herself, because she knew everybody and everybody got along. During the evening a woman friend of ours asked my wife to give her a ride home. My wife left her drink and her change there so that it was clear that that was her spot. When she returned there was a young newbie sitting in her seat. She politely expalained the situation and asked for her seat back. This young jerk gave her a hard time. She simply said, "I don't think you know where you are." At that point the two men on each side of the seat told the young man to get off the seat and give it back to my wife. I am proud of how my wife handled the situation, and I am proud of my two freinds who helped her. Maybe you and I are like my two friends at the bar that night.
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  87

  Heresy of the Month

  by thinker in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  heresy of the month (from a website).

  don't you hate it when someone you know comes up with some new thing that you have never heard about?

  you sit there in apparent ignorance as they pontificate about the proofs and merits of some idea so far beyond common knowledge that it can only be revealed by people of exceptional enlightenment such as they.

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• 

  larc

  Flock,

  I think it is a good time to summarize just how far we have come in just a few short weeks. We have discovered many paths to thinness, none of which require any excersise (Praise the Lord!) We can sleep our way to thinness. We can get an exorsist to caste out the fat demons. We can pray our way to thinness.

  In the coming month we will have the Goddess of Thinness who will take all our money so we won't be able to buy food. Is life good or what?
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  21

  Mommy I want to marry you !!!!!

  by Maxee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello mommy, let me get straight to the point here - (not like amicus who has been desperately trying in vain to sweet talk his way into sevens panties) - i think you are a living doll and i would like to marry you right now.

  yes you can take this as a proposal.

  i need to get some service in on you every month starting immediately.

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  larc

  Amicus,

  As far as castration goes, he's mentally castrated as we speak, that's why he has to talk the way he does. On another thread he mentioned Mommies breasts. Hell, he's never seen a breast in his life except in photographs and in internet porno.

  I'm not worried about Mommie or Seven or the other ladies here. They have all seen dip shits like him before.