Incognito thanks for the advice. I read that book serveral years ago and gave it to my oldest son. I think that's were he got the word toxic parent in his letter. Totally ADD
TotallyADD
JoinedPosts by TotallyADD
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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TotallyADD
We will now wait for his reply. I will let you all know what happens. Totally ADD
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75
JW family made contact....
by LouBelle in.....after 8 years of us being disfellowshipped.
the made contact through my aunt who is still 'in' - as in she has faded but is not disfellowshipped and will pop to a meeting now and again - she does this for my grans' sake.. the contact was from my aunt and uncle (he's an elder) these were the 2 witnesses used against me in my judicial case.
they contacted my aunt and said to forward the message onto us.
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TotallyADD
As a former elder I know this trick well. The fact of the matter is the WT is not a charitable organization. So when elderly ones in the congregation fall on hard times the WT wants the elders to go after the relatives first. If that does not work then they go after ones in the hall with some money and if that does not work then maybe just maybe the congregation may give some money and usually that's a one time gift. The WT wants every penny for themselves. After all building KH or whatever is more important than helping anyone. Totally ADD
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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TotallyADD
Thank you all for your comfort, support and advice. It was all well needed. We knew in the back of our minds this day would come and it has. As many of you said time will only tell the outcome of all of this. Again Thanks. Totally ADD
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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TotallyADD
Amen jamie. Totally ADD
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Shattered Faith
by new hope and happiness inleaving the witnesses was for me a result of asking myself distubing questions, which infomed me " mike its not what you think, its how you think" and as a result iam what was a dub but is a dub no more .so here i am hete today !!.
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TotallyADD
Amen. And Welcome. Totally ADD
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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TotallyADD
Thanks Oubliette for that observation. Yes my wife and I did make that connection. She is only doing what she has been taught since see was a baby. Like the WT if you loose control you have loss everything. The idea of unconditional love is also new for my wife and I so hopefully we will set the right example for him. At any rate it will be a learning experience for all of us. Getting this damm cult out of our system is a big pain in the ass. Totally ADD
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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TotallyADD
LongHairGal after I read the letter I could see extreme anger. Also I agree with many things he brought out but not all of them. Some things he was way off base but I know it was his anger. The thing is I forced myself to go in therapy back in 2006 and 2007. Part of my therapy was to apologize to my boys which I was happy to do. We made a camping weekend out of it. Since then when the subject would come up I would always say how sorry I was for it. In his letter he brought out saying sorry is not enough that I need to go to more therapy to become something he will apporve of. In many ways I have tried very hard to stop bad habits I had. Do I mess up from time to time? Yes I do but the diffrence is I recognize I messed up and work on it to not happen again. Were before I would just keep doing it. My son does not understand where I am coming from and how hard I have tried to change. I was 53 years old when I started I am now soon to be 59 and feel very good about myself. I will accept my son's anger and will let him come to us if he wants to talk about it. If his wife will let him. She is the one we feel is the one who brought this on because he told her we don't believe in the JW cult anymore. In his letter we could see it was her thoughts being wrote down. Our son may will forgive us one of these days as long as his wife will let him. She is that controlling. That's why she has never really liked us because we would not let her control us. Totally ADD
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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TotallyADD
Nugget you are right. As parents we do the best we can with what we have to work with. My parents thought because they stayed together all their life they did better than their parents. They were both throw away children. Even though they was still abusive and never around and could care less about their kids future except for the future of the WT. But in their mind they did better than their parents. When my wife and I had kids we made sure we was their for them took them of camping trips and my wife encourage a good education for them. In many ways we did better than our parents with what we had to work with. Was we perfect? No way. Many mistakes and regrets. But they never missed a meal, had clean clothes, warm beds, and roof over their head and many, many other things. Good or bad most parents can say that. Our only hope is our kids can improve on that. As far as our oldest son goes my wife and I finally got to talk to each other last night when she got home from work. We looked at the context of his letter and we can see his wife was behind alot of it. The reason we say that is the way he would say certain things which was not normal speech from him but is from his wife. So we think this is a way to get us out of our son life and never be around them again. Our sin is we was never a part of her side of the family. My wife said our son is still in a cult. The cult of his wife. You can do this but you can't do that. As long as I say it is alright you can do it. This is how you show love. The WT has prime both of them to think this way. Totally ADD
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74
Got a angry letter from our oldest son today we are very hurt from it.
by TotallyADD inwhen i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
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TotallyADD
Hi flipper. My computer just crap out when I was writing a respones to you. My son has been out for many years however his wife in still in although she has not been to a meeting, fieldservice for years. She was sexual abuse as a child in the JW cult. She has problems. Her therapist she has had for over 7 years is also a JW and a pioneer. The therapist has become good friends with our daughter in law. According to Lady Lee this is bad. The therapist should loose her license over this. This causes more harm that good to our daughter in law. Top it off the pioneer therapist is also studying with her. It's really bad. We have told our son feelings on this but he told us in the letter we don't know what we are talking about and I need help. We did got him books to read but he was to afraid to take them home because of this wife. His wife will not let him go on the computer or read anything because she is so scared he will see something. She really has alot of problems but somehow my wife and I are the blame for all of them. Totally ADD