LadyBug

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Posts by LadyBug

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  7

  It Hurts - And all that Confusion!!

  by Jang in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those who haven't seen this before: this applies to both cults and spiritually abusive systems.. the emotional pain of leaving a cult.

  the following is how former cult members and members of spiritually abusive systems described how they felt when they finally left their group.

  this may give you some insight into their pain and why there are no easy answers for them.. it hurts.

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  LadyBug

  Jang spot on! From my post you can see that I have mentioned a couple of these. Although I agree that many of them apply to me.

  BEW
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  4

  Re BEWS Irrational Thoughts - Post Cult Syndrome

  by Jang in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i hope this helps those who are going through this right now ..... .

  post--cult trauma syndrome.

  after exiting a cult, an individual may experience a period of intense and often conflicting emotions.

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  LadyBug

  Hi Jang

  Thank you. I have to admit I have had a number of these symptoms. One that particularly stuck out was "fear of going insane" LOL. Yes sometimes that is exactly how I feel.

  No comments from the peanut gallery

  BEW
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  2

  To Seeker

  by LadyBug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi seeker.

  i went to your site as i said i would.

  if you are curious to know where all my doubts began, it started when the society made the change in our understanding of "generation" in the november 1, 1995 watchtower.

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  LadyBug

  Hi Seeker

  I went to your site as I said I would. You said:

  If you are curious to know where all my doubts began, it started when the Society made the change in our understanding of "generation" in the November 1, 1995 Watchtower. I remember reading that article, sitting on my couch, and thinking that this changes everything. They took away the one thing that lent any sort of time element to the time of the end. The implication of that was the end could literally be any time in the future. After all, if the "generation" referred to was the generation of people who see the sign of the end, then the end could be tomorrow, next week, next year, next decade, or hundreds of years in the future. There was no way to tell from the point of view of time. It would all depend on how long is "the time of the end". From a human point of view, it could be very long indeed, barring any time element to say otherwise.

  We had nigling doubts before this. But this was also the turning point for us. The fact that it could be "tomorrow, or hundreds of years in the future" struck us pretty hard too.

  I wonder how many others left the "truth" for this change from the org.

  BEW
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  30

  BEW's ..........Irrational Thoughts

  by LadyBug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been having some pretty irrational thoughts lately.. its only been 3 months since we decided it is not the "truth".

  but sometimes i think we (my family) would have been better off if we had stayed inactive witnesses.

  the strain affects the whole family.. sometimes it feels like my whole world has fallen apart.

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  LadyBug

  (((((Tina)))))Thank you

  Life decisions oftentimes are difficult,but those are the challenges that make us independent and contribute to our growth as whole autonomous humans.

  You are right. I guess I wouldn't want it any other way really. Bumps and all. Well actually at the moment I could do with a few less bumps.

  Btw I always enjoy our chats in live chat.

  ((((((Seeker))))))I appreciate your encouragement, thank you.

  Would it encourage you to know that I was at the exact same stage at the exact same time you are currently at?

  Yes it would. As much as I don't wish this on anyone, it gives me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  Anyway, it does get better, it's all normal, you will be fine -- no, you'll be happier than ever.

  Makes me feel better.

  I'm now going to read your document. And I'm getting to know you a little better from chat too.

  looking - Your words are encouraging ...thank you.

  BEW
  Who's spirits are slowly lifting
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  8

  The Heavy Toll on Children of DF'd Parents

  by FreePeace in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  note: contains passionate language.

  two years ago, i divorced my wife, (who was an alcoholic).

  close to the same time, think41self and i decided to marry, and for that, we were both disfellowshipped (couldn't prove scriptural freedom, but who cares now?).

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  LadyBug

  FreePeace

  You go for it! I have to say you brought a smile to my face. Not because its funny, its not. Its just that I wish I could express myself the way you do.

  I feel for your son and you. It is a tragedy that children have to go through such turmoil for 'sick' reasons.

  Neither bugeye nor I are df'd so my children still have the association of their grandparents. But the stress of leaving the org is taking its toll on our children. They are only 7 and 2 years of age and they really don't understand what is going on. I can't even talk about birthday parties to my daughter without her freaking out. We are taking it very slow with them.

  Unfortunately the org will never see what they are doing to families. And that is a tragedy.

  It is a blessing that you and your son have a wonderful new family now.

  My love and best wishes to your ((((((((family))))))).

  BEW
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  30

  BEW's ..........Irrational Thoughts

  by LadyBug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been having some pretty irrational thoughts lately.. its only been 3 months since we decided it is not the "truth".

  but sometimes i think we (my family) would have been better off if we had stayed inactive witnesses.

  the strain affects the whole family.. sometimes it feels like my whole world has fallen apart.

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  LadyBug

  Englishman thank you for your encouragement. One of my problems is I like to have all the answers to the questions I ask myself. And it frustrates the dickens out of me when I can't find the answers.

  ((((Sunchild))))Thank you too for your encouragement.
  

  Is there any spiritual path you were curious about, but didn't dare explore while you were a JW? Here's your chance! Is there a certain philosophy that you've heard about, but don't know much about? You can read up on it now!

  I have read so much, and researched so much over the last 5 years, and there is a philosophy that I have been persuing. And I will keep at it. I'm just glad I started exploring while I was a JW, I think that made it much easier for me.

  I guess being brought up a witness (35 years) and having everything I ever believed in shattered into tiny pieces is not an easy feat.

  Pathofthorns thank you too.

  The difficult period is what follows when you feel there is no sure "anchor" in your life. The hard questions are those that question everything you felt so sure and confident in; God and the Bible.

  Yes this is so true.

  And it is good to have my husband taking the journey with me.

  What you have said makes sense. Thanks for the encouragement.

  Thank you all.
  BEW
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  30

  BEW's ..........Irrational Thoughts

  by LadyBug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been having some pretty irrational thoughts lately.. its only been 3 months since we decided it is not the "truth".

  but sometimes i think we (my family) would have been better off if we had stayed inactive witnesses.

  the strain affects the whole family.. sometimes it feels like my whole world has fallen apart.

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  LadyBug

  (((((Kent)))) thank you. I agree with what you say. You are right. I guess I've always been an impatient person and want the answers straight away.

  ((((((outnfree)))))Thank you. I'm sorry that you too are on "an emotional roller coaster". Its no fun is it. I'm glad you now have a "sounding board" it does make it a bit easier.

  "I don't know how long you physically stuck around inside the organization after having left emotionally"

  Around 5 years we were inactive.

  I hope you too 'get where your going'. As Kent says take it slowly. I'm going to try to take that advice. My thoughts go with you.

  ((ianao)) thanks for reminding me. You are right.

  (((((((((BugEye)))))))yes sweetie you do. And I know things aren't easy for you either.

  It's a comfort to know there are friends on this board who will help and comfort me and others when needed. Thank you all. And I know many of you are going through the same thing or have already been through the same thing and I feel for you all too.

  BEW
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  30

  BEW's ..........Irrational Thoughts

  by LadyBug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been having some pretty irrational thoughts lately.. its only been 3 months since we decided it is not the "truth".

  but sometimes i think we (my family) would have been better off if we had stayed inactive witnesses.

  the strain affects the whole family.. sometimes it feels like my whole world has fallen apart.

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  LadyBug

  I have been having some pretty irrational thoughts lately.

  Its only been 3 months since we decided it is not the "truth". But sometimes I think we (my family) would have been better off if we had stayed inactive witnesses. The strain affects the whole family.

  Sometimes it feels like my whole world has fallen apart. I had all the answers when I was a witness. I could answer any question you put to me with a logical and reasoning answer. It amazes me how convinced I was of the beliefs I had. Anyone who couldn't see our reasoning was "thick".

  Now I realise "I" have no answers. I have no idea where we came from, how everything got here, why I'm here, what happens when we die, is there a God of some sort or not, the bible which I believed so much at one stage is now in my opinion mostly myths. And so much more.

  I have no idea about anything anymore. Some days I feel like I have absolutely no beliefs at all. Other days I feel like I have figured some of it out. And sometimes it's more than I can bear. I feel like my journey is not going anywhere at a rapid pace.

  And then I have other days when I feel great.

  Many times I feel like "ignorance is bliss". Even if wrong at least I had some beliefs as a witness.

  Its definitely taking its toll.

  I could say so much more. But whats the point. I'm sure so many of you have had the same feelings at some stage.

  BEW
  Just rambling
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  28

  (FAQ WT site) Do you shun former members?

  by D wiltshire in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's some thing right from the official jw site under fequently asked questions.. do you shun former members?.

  those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned.

  in compliance with the scriptures, however, members can be expelled for serious unchristian conduct, such as stealing, drunkenness, or adultery, if they do not repent and cease such actions.

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  LadyBug

  Flamin liars!
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  90

  POLL - Elders vs Molesters

  by Amazing in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i wish to conduct a legitimate poll, or at least as legitimate as it can get on this forum.

  unless you are or were a jw, please do not respond or make comments.

  please simply give an answer, without extended comments.

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  LadyBug

  I know 5 personally.