joannadandy

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Posts by joannadandy

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  73

  why waste time?

  by lucidentity in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if everyone here , or nearly everyone here does not believe the jw's then why waste your time going onto these websites.

  when everyone leaves the truth they automaticaly go to jw websites....why?

  if you no longer believe it why waste your time?.

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  joannadandy

  Lucid, it can't be the truth if you have issues with it can you?

  Maybe you can, but for me I did, and do believe some things in the bible, however there were so many things that didn't jive with what I was reading that I didn't think it was fair for them to be passing down the rules to me, and that if it is going to claim to be the "truth" it better be something I can agree to 100%.

  I couldn't, so I left. How you rationalize it, and how you come to terms with it is your business, but I don't think it's fair to say that people who choose to come here for whatever reasons are wasting their time. If it is a waste of time to you, that is your opinion.
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  4

  Kids with JW and non-JW parents

  by roybatty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im faced with a situation regarding my kids that im sure someone else out there has also faced.

  my kids (11 year old son and 8 year old daughter) split their time with me, a non-jw parent and their mother, a jw.

  up to this point, discussing in depth why the witnesses are wrong hasnt really come up.

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  joannadandy

  I think what you are doing now, is exactly what you should be doing!

  If you start pointing out all the flaws it is only going to make it hard for them. They still live with their mother. They will still have to attend meetings at the kingdom hall even if they come to realize it's not the truth. I wouldn't point out anything to them, unless they come to you first with doctrinal questions and why you belive what you do, and why your wife believes what she does. Then you can start pointing things out. I would advise them if they EVER feel pressured that Jesus didn't get baptized until he was in his 30's, and that is a very serious decision and they should NEVER let anyone make it for them.

  If you begin to blast the Witnesses they may cling to it even more. If you remain balanced, open minded, just giving a different perspective on things, when they are old enough they will have the tools they need to make the right choice for themselves.

  But like I said, it sounds like you are handling it beautifully so far, and I would keep it like that.
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  27

  Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!

  by Perfection Seeker in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my name is melissa.

  i am 33 years old.

  my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.

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  joannadandy

  My father recently died-and now everyone gives me the whole guilt & BS about never seeing him again since I don't go to meetings.

  My family uses this on me. I have a sister who passed away before I was even born. My whole life I was told I had another sister who I would meet in the paradise. It's a beautiful thought really. But when I decided to leave, my father broke into tears (my oldest sister had already left) and said that he didn't want to have to tell Jennifer (the sister who passed away) that her two sisters didn't make it to the paradise because she would be so sad. TALK ABOUT GUILT!!

  I think the life after the borg really depends on you and your family. There are a million stories on this board alone, and while tones of it may be similar, each is a unique story, and you can't know. I struggled for 5 years to try and figure out if I should leave, if I shouldn't. The stress was literally eating me alive. I took a big breath, and decided what was right for me. I was prepared for the worst, I was quite convinced my parents would throw me out of the house and never speak to me again. I'm not going to lie, it was the most difficult conversation I ever had with my parents. Many hours and many tears later we all felt better somehow, that all the things we had never talked about had come out. I was extremely lucky. My parents respected my decision and still support me while I attend college. It could have gone in a completely different direction tho. You just don't know.

  Is everything in my life sunshine and roses? Hell no. I still get guilt trips, I still get into fights and tearful arguements, but that's life. Is there EVER a happy ending, about ANYTHING? It really is up to you, and what you think you can handle. For me the stress I felt in the organization, and guilt about not being good enough EVAPORATED when I left. That relief is worth the sarcastic comments my mother sometimes makes. But that's MY situation. My life did get better after I left. I can only hope that yours would to.

  My point is, this is your choice! Only you can know what your life will be like outside. Only you can choose what is right for you, and if you are strong enough to deal with whatever comes your way. If your family is fair minded eventually (I would hope) they will come around and be able to accept your decision.
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  73

  why waste time?

  by lucidentity in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if everyone here , or nearly everyone here does not believe the jw's then why waste your time going onto these websites.

  when everyone leaves the truth they automaticaly go to jw websites....why?

  if you no longer believe it why waste your time?.

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  joannadandy

  The difference lucid is that prof. don't claim to be THE VOICE OF GOD, and his earthly organization. They realize they are fallible. For the most part, professors don't have throngs of people giving money, their children, their time, devotion, and lives to them. I realize that the men in the organization are imperfect. I just wish they would realize it too! There is a lot of danger in speaking for God, especially when so many people are involved.
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  73

  why waste time?

  by lucidentity in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if everyone here , or nearly everyone here does not believe the jw's then why waste your time going onto these websites.

  when everyone leaves the truth they automaticaly go to jw websites....why?

  if you no longer believe it why waste your time?.

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  joannadandy

  I totally agree with HBH. For me it is more of a place of support for those who left. Those that are trying to DISPROVE something, while I find some posts interesting and worth consideration, most I find to just be blowing smoke, over emotional, and overracting. Like everything you have to sift through and find what matters to you.

  I don't try to change anyones views because I don't like it when people try to change my views. I am just here to gather information, and share anything I have. I am sharing, not changing. Big difference.
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  20

  "It has been said..." in the AWAKE!

  by Nathan Natas in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  awake!

  awake!

  awake!

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  joannadandy

  It's probably same old little bitty writing the articles...haven't you ever read two different articles and KNOWN by the way it was written it had to be the same person. You could even start to spot, oh hey this must be brother gloom and doom, this is brother I only read the book of Daniel so that's all I can talk about, this is brother I like exclamation points, and this is brother go Jehovah go!
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  29

  How do YOU deal with it??

  by bad_associashun in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello all- recently joined, had some probs getting logged in, but here at last.... anyway, the question is: for those that can relate, when your heart feels heavy from the hurt, pain, regret, sorrow, bitterness, anger... and the lost years, stolen time, forsaken friends, broken relationships, wasted energies, abandonment, and lost love weighs on you --> caused by wt org.

  stress.... how do you get past it?

  what heals you, brings you relief, rescues you from total worthless feelings of inadequacy, comforts your wounds, keeps you from jumping on the train tracks?.

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  joannadandy

  I try not to dwell on it. The fact is I am out now...past is past, but I can live my present and future by my standards.

  Sure I still get guilt tripped by my parents, I just deal with it each time it happens. I do a lot of writing, talking, crying, reading, anything that helps clear the cobwebs. Friends are really important, especially ones that understand what you have gone through, which is why this place can be such a HUGE help.

  My motto in life has always been to "feel the goodness" It's my hippie mantra, not a sexual come on! There is a lot of crap in life that can bring you down. There are lots of things to cry about. But you have to find what makes you happy and live for that, whether it be a new religion, love, children, art, music, your job, anything. Keep that as your focus and make sure nothing distracts you from what YOU (not some religious fantatics) decided is important in your life.
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  27

  Yoga Anyone?

  by dobby in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just read with interest an article entitled yoga - just an exercise or something more?

  in the august 1, 2002 watchtower.. i know that growing up a witness i had always been told that yoga was related to spiritism and the occult.

  however, with the popularity of yoga among the mainstream in recent years as a means to keep fit not as a means to find spiritual enlightment, i thought the society may have lightened up a bit.

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  joannadandy

  What a load! Ok so they kept saying "Does this sound like it is from Jehovah?" How do they know it isn't? Hinduism, and Buddisim were around before Christianity, maybe God told them to do yoga...grrr...it just makes me mad.
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  30

  Being stalked.....

  by target in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i need some unbiased advice.it is so hard to know just what to do.

  this is the situation.

  on father's day my son and his wife and two little boys came over for the morning.

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  joannadandy

  I would make a report anyway...the sooner you start a file, no matter how small it is, the better. Also, video taping in that room by the window might not be a bad idea...
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  154

  Very Important Question

  by Imbue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  lol....no, it's not an important question but i was wondering if "syn" the poster is male or female?

  hmm...i also suspect he/she isn't 20 years old as he/she has claimed.

  so, what's the story syn?

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  joannadandy

  a) Lies are no big deal.

  This was not what I said at all. Of course lies are a big deal.

  b) Get over it.

  This was the gist of my message but only because I am sick to death of people taking relationships formed over a message board so damn seriously. We all know there are two sides to every story and there are lots of perspectives, perhaps some people take it more seriously than others. That was my point. Obviously to SYN it was not a big deal, obviously he had a reason for doing what he did. Should he blasted because some people take online relationships more seriouslyI dont think so.

  "You were lied to. Get over it. It's really not that bigga deal."

  This is not my point. My point was its a bit different if your spouse, child, boss, lover, mother, uncle, brother lies to you, than say a political candidate, a movie star, gnomes, or leprechaun.

  Sure, syn apologized and since I never communicated with it, I don't really give a toss,

  JanH I guess this was my point but stated badlymy main beef is that we spend 9 pages trying to justify one persons actions and if it is lying or not on a message board that is supposed to be about religious beliefs...just seems like efforts and energies could be better spent on other topics...