Posts by Awen

103

My life ... and how JWD came to be - Part 5

by Simon in

my life ... and how jwd came to be - part 1. my life ... and how jwd came to be - part 2. my life ... and how jwd came to be - part 3. my life ... and how jwd came to be - part 4. i swear, i thought it was only a couple of years at most since i wrote part 4 of "my life and how jwd came to be".

i re-read it after someone posted to it and brought it back on active topics and it was kind of prophetic in a way ... well, i had the 5 years part right if nothing else:.

it would be nice to visit the site (or whatever one is around then) in 5 years time to let people know how we're doing and find only a few of the same people still around.

Awen

Thankyou so much Simon for this site. You have given many of us what the WTS never could. Hope.

Peace,

Awen

98

Why Some Cannot "See" that the Bible is NOT the Word of God

by AGuest in

jw
friends

to the household of god, israel, and those who go with... may you all have peace.

some of you may have recently observed some discussions regarding what... or rather, who... the word of god is, truly.

in those and other threads, some participants weren't able to grasp the difference between discussion vs. contention... and defending their own faith... and love of god and christ... vs. ramming their [mis]assumptions as to the "vengeance of god"... down others' throats.

Awen

An Iinteresting post as always AGuest (Shelby). What I am about to post has no bearing on you or what you believe nor is it intended to be a commentary/judgement on how you express yourself on these boards. I want to be clear on this. This is about me and similar experiences I have had.

Back in 1994 I began to feel as though I was one of the anointed. I was still a JW at this time and under the age of 30. I spoke with various Elders and as you probably know being under 30 and one of the anointed was not acceptable. I did run into an Elder in the Chester, SC KH who proclaimed to be of the anointed and he was under 40 (which was also unusual). His advice to me was to ignore the nay sayers and just live with it. New information would come out eventually and people would be silent about it. So I did.

Something I noticed about the "Holy Spirit". I call it HS because I really have no idea what else to call it. I could call it my "Higher Self" or my "Holy Guardian Angel" or my "Anam Cara (Gaelic for Soul Friend), or Awen (which is a Gaelic word meaning "Inspiration", which oddly enough is translated by Celtic Christians as "Holy Spirit".) But I digress.

What I noticed was that when I left the JW's and picked up Druidry and studied various pagan paths, the HS still spoke to me. How could this be if I was no longer following Christianity? It gave me (and still does) information about people. places and things that I had never researched nor have/had known. I began work as a Spirit Medium and more insight came (proven true by those I did readings for). I did sometimes get wrong information though, but I chalk this up to listening to my own ideas versus that of this "inner voice". I have spoken to several psychics and what I described to them is exactly what they have experienced. Which makes no sense if you firgure it's YHWH's Holy Spirit, it would be a conflict of interest to say the least. I have been to various psychiatrists and psychologists and none of them have diagnosed me with being delusional, psychotic or any mental illness whatsoever. I could even demonstrate this ability to them personally and they had no explanation.

It doesn't seem to matter what the topic is. this "inner voice" always has a commentary on it. Interestingly enough in Druidry there is the concept of the tapping into the unconscious mind which supposedly gives one access to all information, past, present and future (sounds looney I know). Some mistake this for precognition. The Druids even underwent training for this. I forget the exact technique but it had to do with the hypothalamus and when you received information it would "wiggle" which gave a certain feeling. I wish I could describe it. Perhaps a feeling of "rightness" but that is more linear than physical. I guess it's like intuition but on a far higher level. When I have "listened" to this inner voice things have always proven correct or turned out okay for me. Ignore it at my peril. Again, I really have no idea what it is, but some will say "you have a demon" or some such nonsense. I say nonsense because it has spoken on matters of scriptural insight or any other topic for that matter. There is no category that is taboo.

This "inner voice" though has caused some consternation on my part as frequently I am unsure of which religious path to follow. With Christianity I do not feel as though my prayers are answered much unless I follow a very strict moral code and then it's a quid pro quo (this for that) sort of relationship with God. In Paganism I actually had daily contact with beings I will call "gods" and was never given information that hurt me (though I was sometimes ignored when I did something stupid). I actually felt more alive and in touch with the Divine when I was a Pagan than at any other time in my life. I still followed a strict moral code (for the record I have never been married and do not engage in premarital intercourse), yet my life seemed much more fuller.

Why then am I still drawn to Christianity? I suppose it has to do with left over baggage from the JW's and an innate fear of being wrong and paying the price for it.

There are plenty of things in the Bible that do not make sense. Some of them I listed in previous posts on this thread. It could be that I lack the wisdom to understand them. I wonder about the Books of the Bible that were included in the canon whereas others were left out. We must remember that it was the Nicean Council who made this decision. There are plenty of other "Apocryphal" books that are left out that still meet the criteria for inclusion into the canon. It seems to me that they were left out because they didn't fit the mold the Church already had in mind and were labled heretical. Funny enough though, if you ever get to read the "Gospel of St. Thomas" you will find that according to Jesus, the Kingdom of God is already here. Thomas preaches spiritual enlightenment, not salvation through works or faith.

Anyway, that's what I wanted to say and I fear I may have strayed off topic somewhat.

Peace,

Awen

P.S. As far as the whole "anointed" thing with the JW's I personally feel all Christians have the heavenly calling, not just a select few as the WTBTS teaches. This is because Jesus never identified any secondary calling. He said that anyone who asked for the Holy Spirit would receive it. Peter also mentions a "new heaven and a new Earth which we are awaiting according to his promise and in those righteousness is to dwell." My personal take on this is that those who are not chosen to rule with Christ (though still having the HS are given this secondary reward for their faithfulness). Oddly enough my understanding of the "heavenly calling" is that the person is chosen at death, not when they are initially "anointed" with the HS, despite what the WTBTS teaches. To do it this way would cause a person to become arrogant towards thier brothers and sisters and become objects of idolatry (much like is currently being done by the Governing Body and the rank-file JW's).

17

One in every congregation

by WTWizard in

jw
friends

it seems that there is always one self-righteous idiot in every congregation that is like this:.

first, the person will find every opportunity to see how much wealth people have.

this wealth is in either time or material things.

Awen

@ Sulla yes, I'm 6'0 and weigh 215 lbs, always been a big eater. I hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before and was ravenous.

Peace,

Awen

193

Songs that touch ...

by talesin in

can be mushy ... .

or can be craaazyyy ... .

okay, i'll start :).

Awen

My theme song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8OpsPok6iQ

218

What Birth Sign Were You Born Under ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

didn't know if this has been addressed before , but it's kinda interesting.

when we were witnesses we were always told,oh!

don't look at horoscopes or read anything about your sign because it's demonized !

Awen

Libra

Name: Awen

October 16 1969
6:30 AM Time Zone is EDT
Jacksonville, NC

Rising Sign is in 12 Degrees Libra
Very attractive and popular, your charm helps you to get your own way and prevents others from getting angry with you. "Peace and harmony at all costs" is your battle cry. You always try to ameliorate or to cosmetically hide any physical ugliness or any angry feelings between people. Flashy, but not gaudy, you prefer to dress elegantly. You generally have good taste in music, art and literature. Beware of the tendency to compromise yourself in your attempt to be agreeable at all times. A bit of a social butterfly, at times you can be vain and lazy. For the most part, however, you are gracious and affectionate, and your refined and aristocratic demeanor serves as a role model to others.

Sun is in 22 Degrees Libra.
Very sociable, you enjoy being with others and definitely prefer not be alone. Warm and affectionate, you go out of your way to make others like you. You despise ugliness, for you being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. You prefer fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings wherever you are. Your refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. At times, you are very indecisive you waver and falter when forced to make a choice because you have the ability to see both sides of any question. The positive part of this is that you are very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. Your greatest challenge is to take any one- on-one encounter and make the most of it.

Moon is in 27 Degrees Sagittarius.
An idealist, you prefer the grand, the beautiful, the good and the noble. You get very disappointed when your high expectations in life are not met. Very curious by nature, you enjoy traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. Try to avoid your tendency to ignore the small but important details of living. You are independent and free, and you want others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have you around. You have an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject. Your life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity.

Mercury is in 04 Degrees Libra.
You are known for not jumping to conclusions about things. You tend to weigh all possible choices very carefully before making a decision. When in the slightest amount of doubt, you will compromise rather than ruffle any feathers. You are a true raconteur of culture and taste -- your ideas and opinions are neat, elegant and refined. A born diplomat, you dislike discord so much that you will go out of your way to make others feel comfortable and at ease. You speak softly and pleasantly.

Venus is in 28 Degrees Virgo.
You express your love and affection through selfless service to people or causes. You have a tendency to underestimate yourself and doubt your self-worth. This is very demeaning and should be avoided -- learn to love yourself as well as you do others. Your standards of perfection are very high -- you are attracted to relationships based on duty and responsibility. You are supercritical of yourself and others and, at times, prefer to be alone rather than deal with any imperfections in yourself or in those with whom you might relate.

Mars is in 16 Degrees Capricorn.
Extremely ambitious, you are willing to work very hard to reach the goals you have set for yourself. Very practical, cautious and conservative, you demand tangible results for your efforts. You need to excel in whatever you do, and you have the required sense of responsibility, dedication and self-discipline to bring it about. Beware of your tendency to judge others only by their degree of status and prestige, or by how well they will be able to advance you in your climb to the top.

Jupiter is in 17 Degrees Libra.
You are generally good at balancing opinions and judging issues, but you tend to be indecisive when it comes to making up your own mind. You are objective and quite concerned with fair play and justice. But, when it comes to yourself, you are so aware that whatever you do might upset the apple cart that you often choose to compromise rather than do anything that might make you lonely or vulnerable. Relationships are very important to you -- you learn about yourself and grow through observing yourself interacting with others. Your aesthetic tastes are refined, but expansive and expensive.

Saturn is in 06 Degrees Taurus.
Complete freedom of choice makes you ill at ease. You must have a firm, ordered, secure foundation in your life in order to feel comfortable. You do not adapt easily and tend to fear the new and untried. You constantly fear that you do not have enough (love, property, material things, etc.) and this makes you tend toward being selfish, withdrawn and stingy. If you try to surround yourself with supportive people in your environment, you will become more emotionally self-supporting.

Uranus is in 05 Degrees Libra.
You, as well as your entire peer group, have a very free, unstable and unconventional approach to relationships and emotional commitments. You will be attracted to experiments in marriage and shared lifestyles. Personal freedom is more important to you than entangling emotional bonds. In the realm of art and aesthetics, you are attracted to the bizarre, shocking and unusual.

Neptune is in 27 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your entire generation, are extremely interested in anything deep and mysterious. You will explore and idealize the benefits that can accrue from the study of the occult, healing and psychology. You are willing to experiment with substances like drugs in order to push your understanding of your inner being to the extreme.

Pluto is in 25 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in society's attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice.

N. Node is in 20 Degrees Pisces.
You're attracted to others who need your assistance. You seem to go out of your way to form relationships with those who are weak, sick, injured, addicted or troubled in some way or other. At your best you can indeed provide the relief that others need. But at times you can be victimized by those who would prey on your good nature and take advantage of you. This can lead to all sorts of negative situations -- make sure that those you assist are truly worthy of your time, energy and commitment. A little enlightened self-protectiveness on your part can make your life work much, much smoother!

The part that is in bold is quite relevent to me currently. I have thus far been unable to find anyone I trust enough to marry. So I'm content being a Bachelor. I can thank the WTS for killing my trust in others.

Peace,

Awen

17

One in every congregation

by WTWizard in

jw
friends

it seems that there is always one self-righteous idiot in every congregation that is like this:.

first, the person will find every opportunity to see how much wealth people have.

this wealth is in either time or material things.

Awen

I knew two in my congregation.

One was a brother, his first name was Sam. He was a newly baptized JW and I was unfortunate enough to have him in my car for field service. I recall I tried to play some classical music (this was back when the Kingdom Melodies were on cassette) and he said I shouldn't play that "worldly music" in field service since it detracts for Jehovah's service. I put on some KM and he shut it. Then later on while I was driving I pulled up to a stop sign but didn't stop all the way. Imeddiately he told a joke about a man who had run a red light, was pulled over by a cop and then beat about the head, all the while asking the guy if he should stop or just pause (like I did at the stop sign. I asked Sam if he had a car. he said no. I asked if he knew how far it was back to the Kingdom Hall. he said 10 miles. I then asked him if he was in good physical condition. He replied "yes" and wanted to know why. I told him if he didn't like how I drove MY car and what music I played in MY car, then he could walk his self-righteous self back to the Kingdom Hall. He made no reply but at least he shut up until we got to McDonalds to meet the rest of the group.

While there I purchased 6 Big Macs and ate 3. He called me a glutton in front of everyone. So I asked him to define gluttony and he said it was " the practice of over eating to satisfy a selfish desire for food" to which I replied that it needs to be a practice to be considered gluttony. I asked him to tell me then how much I usually eat at a given time and how often a day do I eat. He didn't know. So I told him he had made a judgmental remark based upon insufficient evidence about my personal habits. I also informed him that on occasion Jesus went to a wedding or a feast where large amounts of food were served. Does that make Jesus a glutton as well? Of course he replied "no". So then he was making unsubstantiated remarks about a person he didn't really know anything about. What did that make him? He didn't know. Based upon the evidence available he was self-righteous and full of pride, things condemned in the Bible.

The second was a Circuit Overseer's wife who wanted to conduct the Field Service arrangements. It was a Saturday morning and I was the only Brother present (not unusual). Her husband had already left for some return visits with the only other Brother. So I was left alone with 5 Sisters (including herself). Repeatedly she tried to steer the group in a particular direction or offer suggestions to go into certain neighborhoods (which we all knew to be crime laden). Despite the other Sister's best efforts to disuade her it eventually fell upon me to deal with her as the sisters from my congregation were afraid of her. I told her in front of the others that we were doing FS the way I thought best. She reminded me that she was the CO"S wife. I reminded her that she wasn't the CO but was under the headship of Christ and therefore in the abscence of her husband under my authority. I told her if she didn't like we would take her back to the KH. She stayed out in service (grumbling the entire time) and when she met up with her husband complained about me in front of everyone. To my surprise he told her I was correct and she was flat out wrong and owed me an apology. It was hard not to laugh in her face, poor woman.

Peace,

Awen

98

Why Some Cannot "See" that the Bible is NOT the Word of God

by AGuest in

jw
friends

to the household of god, israel, and those who go with... may you all have peace.

some of you may have recently observed some discussions regarding what... or rather, who... the word of god is, truly.

in those and other threads, some participants weren't able to grasp the difference between discussion vs. contention... and defending their own faith... and love of god and christ... vs. ramming their [mis]assumptions as to the "vengeance of god"... down others' throats.

Awen

Recently I find myself moving more towards this kind of thinking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQRCsbO_rk4

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgFNcQMUjb4&feature=channel_video_title

72

Would You Be Shocked If You Found Out That A JW That YOU Knew Was Here?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i bet there's a lot of jws in "good standiing" that frequent this place.. what do you think?

?.

Awen

If anyone asks me I'll tell them my name and the congregation I went to. Then I'll go to the KH and give the Elders the finger right in fron of everyone.

I'd like to meet some from my former congregation, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Awen

98

Why Some Cannot "See" that the Bible is NOT the Word of God

by AGuest in

jw
friends

to the household of god, israel, and those who go with... may you all have peace.

some of you may have recently observed some discussions regarding what... or rather, who... the word of god is, truly.

in those and other threads, some participants weren't able to grasp the difference between discussion vs. contention... and defending their own faith... and love of god and christ... vs. ramming their [mis]assumptions as to the "vengeance of god"... down others' throats.

Awen

On the other hand I will share something I've only thought about and never shared with anyone. It causes me no end of confusion on the topic of the Bible/Judaism/Christianity.

I sometimes think that the Bible is nothing more than a history book and a collection of mythologies meant for the people of Israel only. Consider that the New Testament was written 2,000 years ago and to them the world was very small. The nation of Israel was the center of the world (in their eyes) and everything written in it is from their point of view. This makes me think of the "Book of Going Forth by Day" (The Egyptian Book of the Dead) and how all the rituals and such are written from an Egyptian viewpoint. Never does it enter into the Egyptian mind that their viewpoint is somehow flawed. Their viewpoint and commentaries are the only ones that matter to them. Such seems to be the case of the Bible. You can look at it from a strictly Israelite point of view and how everything relates to them, or you can read the scriptures and say "hey, Jesus was talking about everyone when he said "go therefore and make disciples of all the people of all the nations, etc" He was talking globally. But is this simply not an assumption on our part? I have done a lot of research into the personage of Jesus. Some say he existed, some say not. Some show similarities to the Roman God Mithra (virgin birth, 12 Apostles, rising from the dead) and say that the Chritian writers merely co-opted many already existing religions to further their own goals. There exists very little secular evidence for the person of Jesus, only the influence he had on others and second hand accounts. It's so very hard to put together the pieces of evidence and decide if he really existed at all. Outside of the Bible, there is almost no mention of Jesus at all. Yet that isn't true of other historical figures. Why is that?

Why does the Bible only exist in fragment form and not a complete set of books? I would think that if YHWH wanted us to know it all, it would be available to us, but it's not. We have copies of copies who's literary value is called into questioned by the discovery of scribal errors. Consider the Gospels were written 40 years after the death of Jesus. Who can recall events that far back with any degreee of accuracy?

Some might say his influence on the world shows that he existed. Yet that can be chalked up to how his followers spread the Gospels, usually by politics and the point of the sword (both of which Jesus opposed) and this is still being done. I've looked into the Deluge of Noah's Day and I get conclicting accounts. Not only from Theologians, but from Geologists, Botanists, etc. They all seem to have a different opinion and different "evidence." I would think that if any of it were true, there would be concrete irrefutable evidence. But there isn't. It seems that it all comes down to faith and faith alone. That is a problem for me as my exit from the WTS destroyed any faith I had and now I'm left with only questions.

I can debate a Bible topic easily enough and put forth a hypothesis based upon my own understanding of the text. But when it comes down to whether what's in the Bible is true or not then I'm left with doubt and questions. Doubt for me doesn't mean something is wrong, it simply means I haven't found the answer. I find myself arguing many times in favor of Jesus and many times against religion. I don't really have any beliefs, just a lot of ideas. I don't know if Jesus is the Son of YHWH, or YHWH himself or a flying spaghetti monster in human form. I just don't know. I do believe (the one belief I do have) there is a God. What form or how He/She interacts with us and how we are to interact in return is what baffles me.

Peace,

Awen

42

Was there anything different about you that helped you escape the WT?

by Giordano in

for me i know it was because i was a reader.. i began reading books at the age of 13, this was in the 1950's.

because there were some serious family problems i had two escapes i could count on reading and associating with my friends at the kingdom hall.. as i devoured steinbeck, hemingway, wolf etc.

my world view expanded....it had to.

Awen

I read the FreeMinds website articles and read my Bible without using WT publications. I also saw a few advertisements on TV which spoke out against the JW's. I decided to question everything and not simply take someone's word for something just because they published a book or have some sort of authority. I realized that my having to "render an account" would be based entirely upon my own deeds and the words of others would most likely be discounted as I do have free will. I can't be like Adam and try to put the blame on God, i.e. "the woman you gave me told me to eat and thus I ate." Adam, like myself had free will and was accountable for his own actions and not those of others.

This is what opened my eyes.

Peace,

Awen