Posts by goldensky

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

Dear Carla, I enjoyed your post very much and it got me thinking. You are right, you know? That "oneness" you once enjoyed (and that I hope you will regain) is a feeling few humans are granted to experience, in my opinion. I'm not talking about the period of time when you are in love (we all know what that's like: ecstasy), I'm talking about maintaining that feeling or something very similar once the novelty wears off. I read a few months ago a doctor had carried out a study from which he drew the conclusion that some people manage to remain "in love", to maintain the "oneness" throughout a lifetime, but that only happened to a very small percentage of the population. The doctor himself mentioned he "envied" those rare people, because although he enjoyed a very warm relationship with his wife, he knew he didn't reach those heights. In such a case, of course I agree it would be a "crime" to break it, but then who would even feel the slightest inclination toward anybody else if he was totally absorbed and felt in nearly perfect fusion with the other one? And even in this case, would sexual unfaithfulness be more "delictive" than other "crimes" like flirting with somebody else even without touching him/her? I still see no difference.

Sorry if I'm not making myself understood. This is a very delicate subject.

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

Spot-on again, Cyberjesus (with all my respect of course towards those who consider my thinking outrageous, utterly immoral or just extravagant).

122

Me, the WT, and the "Separating Work"...

by AGuest in

jw
friends

may you all have peace!.

a little while ago a dear one referred to my trip to "bethel" and discussion with carey barber.

he asked if he could read them.

goldensky

For goodness' sake...

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

By the way, Truthseekeriam, what's "the burning bed"?

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

Leavingwt, I've loved your link, thank you very much. Yes, deep conversations give me a real thrill (I suppose they do most people). And I'm counting as "conversation" what we do on this board also.

OnTheWayOut, you have such deep love for you wife! It's delightful to hear you say those beautiful things. Congratulations.

Cyberjesus, yes, you are spot-on! That's exactly what I mean, you've expressed it beautifully. Therefore, my question remains, "Why does sexual unfaithfulness break people's heart to that point when there are no feelings involved?"

Magwitch, I'm truly sorry you were hurt but the man you loved. This goes for you and for any other woman who has been betrayed and is reading this thread: Please don't be offended by my words as if I were justifying a man's unfaithfulness of making your hurt seem unwarranted. That's not by any means my point.

Thank you everybody.

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

Exactly, Snowbird, emotional intimacy IS more important than physical. So why make such a fuss if your husband has had sex with a woman and you don't think there's anything wrong in enjoy friendship, connexion and warm feelings for another male/s other than your husband? The effects of a good conversation can last for a lifetime, sex can be forgotten the minute the orgasm is over.

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

ASphereisnotacircle, that's hilarous!!! Very good! By the way, and I mean it, I envy your sexual drive. Your husband is a lucky fellow.

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

Snowbird, thank you very much for sharing those thoughts with us.

Mad Sweeny, I admire you for your willingness to even consider giving the woman another opportunity. Coming from a man, it raises my respect for you (girls pleaase don't lynch me for discriminating, but to me the standards of sexual faithfulness should be far lower for men than for women, but that's a subject for another thread - oh dear, you have taken the rope already!!!

Minimus, Keyser Soze and Quirky1, see what I mean, girls? Who of you would even think of that option? You are incorrigible, but I love you for that!

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

Dear all,

Thank you very much for your comments and the fact no one ridiculed me or got angry at the question.

I have organized my thoughts a little on my way to school and back, so I may express myself a bit more clearly now. Let's see, you talk about "intimacy" being the sacred thing, more than "sex" itself, which might be a mere function. And that's exactly my point: going back to the example of the conversation: imagine you've spent a couple of hours with a male friend (I'm talking to females) and you've had a great conversation (I often do, my husband doesn't mind at all -I would not tolerate his minding anyway-). You've thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of connexion and closeness that comes from exchanging ideas on a subject that fascinates you (I clarify you can have the same enjoyment if you are with a female friend, but this time it is a male). You go back home and remember what you've spoken about, you smile remembering how good it felt, and you definitely feel close to that person who shared that part of your day. Before you go to sleep, you review your day and your friend is in your mind again and again you feel that warm relationship that unites you (no romantic feeling involved). Would you expect your husband to feel bad about it, to make a scene, to tell you that is not moral? You wouldn't, would you? OK, that same day, while you were having such a good time with your friend, your husband, who's had a couple of beers (he is not drunk, though, but perfectly aware), is approached by a beautiful workmate in his office that openly makes herself available to him, he's very aroused (it's a weakness in men, poor fellows, but that's for another thread) and giving in to her charms, has sex with her. It has lasted five minutes in all. He goes back home, and were it not for his terrible conscience, he would not give the girl another thought. He is happy to go back home to you and your warmth and the kids, and he goes to sleep like an angel as he holds you tight and delights in how you smell. End of his story.

Who has had more intimacy?

Do you see what I mean? What's in sex that makes it different from other kinds of intimacy? I don't get it. I'd love to know the reason for my "anomaly". That's why I'm asking for enlightenment from you, my dear friends.

68

Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

by goldensky in

please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

goldensky

Really, girls, I'm very interested in knowing why sex precisely seems to be such a big thing (you men are also very, very welcome, but for some reason - ha, ha - I'm more interested in female comments). I mean, I've often derived far more pleasure from an interesting and deep conversation with a man other than my husband than from making love with my husband (and he is very sweet and everything a woman needs, but in spite of that at the end of that day I was much more satisfied with, say, that conversation with a male (or female) friend than from the love-making). I don't know if I'm making myself understood.

I'll be back in a while. I have to pick up my kids.

I love you.