Posts by Jang

if you've had exit-counseling you have had a concentrated time to discuss and reflect upon your involvement in a psychologically abusive group, your personal issues that affected your vulnerabilities and your spiritual issues.

but you also need to realize that, for some, it has been somewhat like chipping off at an iceberg.

Jang

Recovery Issues and What to Expect

If you've had exit-counseling you have had a concentrated time to discuss and reflect upon your involvement in a psychologically abusive group, your personal issues that affected your vulnerabilities and your spiritual issues. But you also need to realize that, for some, it has been somewhat like chipping off at an iceberg. Your "recovery" rate and level is highly dependent upon a variety of factors: the number of years spent in a cultic environment, the destructiveness of your specific group ala doctrine and practice, your level of involvement within the cultic milieu, your psychological health prior to group/relationship involvement, and strength of relationship to family and friends outside of the group, among others. Because of ex-counseling you learned how the group manipulated your "self" and squeezed you into their mold or their "clone." How motivated are you to continue to find your true self with all of its goals and aspirations? How patient are you to allow this process to take the time needed to be "inside out" recovery?

Here are a few reminders to help you along the way:

** Don't expect family and friends to totally "understand" your experience. It was your experience, not theirs. Continue to explain what happened to you in the best ways you can.

** Don't be surprised if, after a while, people remind you that you need to "move on" with your life ... or "forget what lies behind"... or think you are obsessing on your experience. Try to explain the nature of trauma ---that the continual review of the experience helps you "process" it and give meaning to it, and you would appreciate their patience with you.

** Join a support group to have a body of friends who have gone through similar cultic experiences as yourself and attend some local meetings or national conferences to continue in understanding what happened to you, and hear the uplifting stories of others who have grown through their group exodus.

** Expect numerous "ups and downs." Just when you think you've gotten a handle on it all, you may have some moody, confused times of wondering why you left or why this happened to you or how can you ever get past this experience. This is very normal and typical. Everyone has up and down days and weeks. Look at the overall "graph of growth and resolve."

** Enjoy reading books re: 1) other peoples' experiences in an exploitive, abusive group or 2) about nothing that has to do with abusive groups, just topics you want to explore for a change like gardening, poetry, history or whatever would help you feel like a valuable living human on this exciting planet.

** Schedule additional counseling/consultation with someone knowledgeable about survivors from exploitive, deceptive groups and their needs if you need continued help in sorting out any psychological trauma, or if you run into some obstacles. Like surgery is to the body, healing takes time afterwards, i.e. you must pace yourself and seek medical attention if needed. An expert can help and you'll be back on the road to healing once again. Just don't panic. You have not lost all that you once gained. Recovery takes time!

** Continue to confront those cognitive lies that may periodically rear their ugly head. Write them down, then challenge the irrationality of the inherent errors. Restart that journal or begin to review your thinking bit by bit. Continue to "deprogram" the land mines that might still remain in your mind as the thoughts (lies) surface in your thinking.

** Get involved in activities you've always dreamed of or take an evening class of interest at your local community college. Life is to be enjoyed not endured -- something totalist groups usually don't teach! Surround yourself with fun, positive, enjoyable activities and people!

** Be tolerant of parental or spousal concerns that you might return to the group. Assure them you will not. Assure them that your concern is for your friends inside the group, reminding yourself that you need to heal and have some strength and resolve before you can be of any real help to others. Remember, you are first accountable for yourself.

** Remind yourself daily that you are a special, uniquely created individual that deserves love and appreciation because YOU do! Learn to see and feel that for yourself.

** Realize the value of what you've learned about life from your experience; help others grow.

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

64

Convention Apostatizing Brings Gestapo Response

by outnfree in

jw
friends

my flyers merely said: if as a jehovahs witness, a member of your family has been molested information is available for further information see: www.silentlambs.org or call 1-877-wtabuse.. nothing overtly inflammatory, actually more like a public service announcement.. i guess thats what most of the local organizers and friends thought in my neck of the, woods for the first two days of the district convention!

but once the 'friends' realized that the website i was promoting with my flyers and moving car billboard was not an approved wt site, the powers that be got ... well ... pissed is the word!.

nobody bothered me on friday as i went smiling about my posting flyers on the light and utility poles on the routes to/from the convention site.

Jang

Esther, what year was it that you got the flyers? Curious if it was when we did it

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

7

Does God Make Mistakes?

by Undecided in

jw
friends

i was thinking about some of the comments in the bible where god had regrets.

gen. 6:6 does this mean he felt it was a mistake to make humans?.

when he decreed that nineveh would be destroyed and then changed his mind after they repented, would it have been a mistake if he had destroyed them before they had time to repent?.

Jang

The hebrew NACHAM means to 'repent' about 40 times and 'comfort' about 65 times in the OT. It can mean a change of heart, change of disposition, change of mind, change of purpose, or an emphasis on a change of one's conduct.

When he 'repented' or 'regretted' that he had made man he was does not mean that he made a mistake. He was regretting what had happened and what had to happen.

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

15

To ALL Jw's and Lurkers!

by VeniceIT in

jw
friends

i've noticed several posts the last few days slamming people with different beliefs.

now i enjoy a good debate but i think this is something that you who claim to believe or follow the teachings of the wts should keep in mind.

now i will only be using scriptures so you need not worry!.

Jang

Jesus was a little more specific. He said the separation was on the basis of how people treated "the least of these my brethren." It depends on who you consider his "brethren" to be.

So true. Then someone asked him "Who is My brother?" and his answer was profound.

All the ones who felt they had the right religion, had the truth, passed by the man on the road, Then along cam a man who was an outcast and to be shunned. And this man cared for the man on the road who was in pain. The reason why this man from Samaria helped was because he knew that this was how we show our love for God and His children, unconditionally and with true compassion. This Samaritan man didn't have to make an outward showing of his righteousness by shunning those he considered beneath him because he had something on the inside that was truly spiritual.

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

64

Convention Apostatizing Brings Gestapo Response

by outnfree in

jw
friends

my flyers merely said: if as a jehovahs witness, a member of your family has been molested information is available for further information see: www.silentlambs.org or call 1-877-wtabuse.. nothing overtly inflammatory, actually more like a public service announcement.. i guess thats what most of the local organizers and friends thought in my neck of the, woods for the first two days of the district convention!

but once the 'friends' realized that the website i was promoting with my flyers and moving car billboard was not an approved wt site, the powers that be got ... well ... pissed is the word!.

nobody bothered me on friday as i went smiling about my posting flyers on the light and utility poles on the routes to/from the convention site.

Jang

The only other religion that gets that aggressive is the Scientologists. Maybe the WTs hasb een taking lessons

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

5

Oh my God!!! How can someone say THIS!!!!!!

by Gianluca in

jw
friends

i found this comment was found on the greatcrowd web site: http://www.greatcrowd.com/159ubb/forum22/html/000153.html.

a certain jw called cricked said about the upcoming dc :.

"you are all mean, kidding!!

Jang

The only thing assemblies made me do is worry where I was going to come up with the money for the hotel and food for me and my three children.

Boy can I relate to this one. All except on our DA's was 100 miles plus from home, and it was the last one I went to that was in my home town!

We had to hire a tent, equipment, etc and inevitibly it would be raining and gluggy mud everywhere. We could not afford to eat the assembley food so I had to prepare 3 meals a day for the 5 of us. and then we were expected to prance out of our tents all spiffed up and looking squeeky clean in that mud! As for going to the bathroom ..... one we end to had ONE toilet made available for women and three for males!!!!! The ladies toilet had 4 cubicles, the med had their troughs plus their four cubicles in each!!!!! No prizes for guessing who was supposed to take all the kids to the toilets! Can you imagine the lineup in the mornings???

My memories of the DA!!!!! Not Good!!!

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

28

Hi, I'm New!

by Ashley in

jw
friends

my name is ashley and i'm 17 years old.

i'm from abbotsford b.c., canada (an hour out of vancouver).

i have blond hair and blues eyes, thin, 5'5.

Jang

Hi Ashly and welcome to the board

I live in Brisbane where you visited.

When you come over here to work, why not try to do some seasonal work like fruit picking etc. If you keep in contact with Backpackers etc you can get a lot of work from Cairns down to South Australia.

A good goal to travel .... really gives you insight on the real world.

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

64

Convention Apostatizing Brings Gestapo Response

by outnfree in

jw
friends

my flyers merely said: if as a jehovahs witness, a member of your family has been molested information is available for further information see: www.silentlambs.org or call 1-877-wtabuse.. nothing overtly inflammatory, actually more like a public service announcement.. i guess thats what most of the local organizers and friends thought in my neck of the, woods for the first two days of the district convention!

but once the 'friends' realized that the website i was promoting with my flyers and moving car billboard was not an approved wt site, the powers that be got ... well ... pissed is the word!.

nobody bothered me on friday as i went smiling about my posting flyers on the light and utility poles on the routes to/from the convention site.

Jang

I LUV IT

Next one you organise a whole host of people with BIG signs with the details on it in BIG letters

One with the Website and One with the Phone number

And you all make sure you are standing across from where all the cars and buses come out and get trapped in traffic!!!!!!!!!

LUV IT!!!!!!!!!

JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/