Great post!
Posts by ~Jen~
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31Dubs - Paradoxes From Hell
by Farkel indubs - paradoxes from hell.
jesus said his yoke was kindly and light.. dubs brag their religion is the "hardest religion in the world.".
the bible tells children to honor their parents.. the wts tells children to betray their parents.. if dubs really live in a "spiritual paradise," why do their lives have to be threatened to stay in it?.
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15
I'm Alone
by ~Jen~ ini have 1 friend since leaving the borg.
1 friend who lives an hour away.
we talk through out the day, everyday but we only see each other about once a month.. i just found out my ex boyfriend who was trying to win me back and have me come back to him got a girl pregnant about a week or two after we broke up.
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~Jen~
Thank you sd-7, I appreciate you telling me what you've been through. I think I've finally realized that I DO need to be alone and get myself together before I can ever meet anyone who will be right for me. It's just getting to the point where I can let go of my insecurities and be confident that I CAN do it on my own, you know?
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15
I'm Alone
by ~Jen~ ini have 1 friend since leaving the borg.
1 friend who lives an hour away.
we talk through out the day, everyday but we only see each other about once a month.. i just found out my ex boyfriend who was trying to win me back and have me come back to him got a girl pregnant about a week or two after we broke up.
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~Jen~
Thanks so much. Adiva - I just posted in the meetup section.
I think I do know that life will get better but I just wonder when. I have so much stress right now and am so scared of being completley on my own and making the wrong decision.
Both of the ex's want me back - my ex husband is telling me he loves me and sends me texts of "remember this...remember that". I feel like I don't have the strength to just tell him to leave me alone because I can't handle this right now. I'm scared to tell him that I'll never be coming back to him and then be alone forever.
My ex boyfriend is calling me giving me updates on his baby mama and their custody situation. Like WTF? I almost *almost* feel like everyone was right about this world eating me alive.
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15
I'm Alone
by ~Jen~ ini have 1 friend since leaving the borg.
1 friend who lives an hour away.
we talk through out the day, everyday but we only see each other about once a month.. i just found out my ex boyfriend who was trying to win me back and have me come back to him got a girl pregnant about a week or two after we broke up.
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~Jen~
I have 1 friend since leaving the Borg. 1 friend who lives an hour away. We talk through out the day, everyday but we only see each other about once a month.
I just found out my ex boyfriend who was trying to win me back and have me come back to him got a girl pregnant about a week or two after we broke up. He wants to still be friends with me and for me to support him and I'm so torn because I had strong feelings for him. If I had a bunch of friends to lean on then I would walk away from him but I feel a pull just because I have no one else in my life right now.
My JW ex is also trying to get me to come back to him. He walked in the house last week and we were talking and he just stopped and started kissing me. I pushed him away and told him he's going to do something he regrets.
I'm so alone, lost and confused right now. My kids are the only thing holding me together. I feel defeated. I feel like going back to the EX because life will never get better. My EX and I were friends but there was never a romantic/sexual connection there. I feel so defeated that i'm wondering if I'll just be better off going back to that unhappiness. Maybe at least it will be better than being alone :(
This is all too much for me. Maybe I would have been better to just stay naive, miserable in the borg. My life is never going to get better :(
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52
Need some support
by ~Jen~ ini don't post very often but i'm in need of some support.. i left my husband and the jw's back in the summer.
we have 3 kids and have joint custody of them.. i've spoken to my family once - back in the fall and it was a great conversation - my parents (dad is an elder) said that they just wanted me to be happy however that is.. last week i got a voicemail from my mom saying that she loved me and thought about me every day.
i was so happy.
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~Jen~
Thank you so much for your replies once again = Michelle365 you have a PM :)
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52
Need some support
by ~Jen~ ini don't post very often but i'm in need of some support.. i left my husband and the jw's back in the summer.
we have 3 kids and have joint custody of them.. i've spoken to my family once - back in the fall and it was a great conversation - my parents (dad is an elder) said that they just wanted me to be happy however that is.. last week i got a voicemail from my mom saying that she loved me and thought about me every day.
i was so happy.
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~Jen~
Thanks everyone. I have an appointment with my Dr this morning to get a referral for a therapist.
Quillsky - under the circumstances yes I felt like it was the only thing to do.
I had been trying to work on my marriage for a long time. I was crying out to my husband and he wasn't listening. I told him I was depressed, he did nothing. I asked to see a therapist, he said no. I told him there were problems in the marriage, he told me there weren't. I was extremely depressed and he would do nothing to help me emotionally, and was the type of person who felt that just ignoring the problem would make it go away. His parents moved into our house and were causing all sorts of problems. I found out that my ex was talking to me about them and "agreeing" with me just so it would shut me up and he was going to them and telling them to ignore me because I had problems.
I was extranged from my family at the time and hadn't seen them in over 6 months. They were extremely manipulative and have always blamed me for everything.
I was sick of seeing the two facedness of witnesses - especially my inlaws who would be super nice to people and then say horrible horrible things behind their back. Family get togethers with the ex's side would end up being bash fests on the brothers. Meanwhile my inlaws weren't working by choice and would judge other brothers for not giving them money.
I had no true friends - I only had fairweather friends who decided that because the ex wasn't an MS that we weren't good enough.
Not to mention I always knew I didn't want to be a witness all my life but had been too scared to leave.
I didn't think before doing what I did. I was desperate and angry and I snapped. I knew my family, I knew if I just left the EX that they would manipulate me to coming back and I would be so weak that I would. i did something to get myself DF'd so that they WOULD cut me out of their lives and I wouldn't have to deal with that manipulation any longer.
I asked the EX what he'd do if I said I didn't want to be a JW and he told me he'd have forced me to study with the elders.
There was SO much going on. Looking back it was the absolute wrong thing to do, however at the time I snapped and did the only think I knew how *then*. I really wish I found this website before because I'm sure I would have handled it differantly but at the time, I knew no other way.
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52
Need some support
by ~Jen~ ini don't post very often but i'm in need of some support.. i left my husband and the jw's back in the summer.
we have 3 kids and have joint custody of them.. i've spoken to my family once - back in the fall and it was a great conversation - my parents (dad is an elder) said that they just wanted me to be happy however that is.. last week i got a voicemail from my mom saying that she loved me and thought about me every day.
i was so happy.
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~Jen~
Thanks so much.
Can anyone tell me how to send a PM? I'm having trouble.
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52
Need some support
by ~Jen~ ini don't post very often but i'm in need of some support.. i left my husband and the jw's back in the summer.
we have 3 kids and have joint custody of them.. i've spoken to my family once - back in the fall and it was a great conversation - my parents (dad is an elder) said that they just wanted me to be happy however that is.. last week i got a voicemail from my mom saying that she loved me and thought about me every day.
i was so happy.
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~Jen~
Thank you SO much!! All your kind words are so helpful.
When I left my husband - I commited "adultery" because it was the only way I knew how I could get out and not have them suck me back in. I guess I'm having issues with this as well since it's all THEY can see. They see me leaving my husband for some other guy, then that relationship not working out and figuring that I had just snapped and will come crawling back. None of them want to or can understand that I just simply wanted to leave and I did what I did TO get out.
So along with the JW stuff, I have my EX saying how nobody ever deserved what I did to him, etc. so he can say to himself that our marriage fell apart BECAUSE I left for another guy instead of realizing there were issues in the marriage
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52
Need some support
by ~Jen~ ini don't post very often but i'm in need of some support.. i left my husband and the jw's back in the summer.
we have 3 kids and have joint custody of them.. i've spoken to my family once - back in the fall and it was a great conversation - my parents (dad is an elder) said that they just wanted me to be happy however that is.. last week i got a voicemail from my mom saying that she loved me and thought about me every day.
i was so happy.
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~Jen~
Thank you.
I do need to set boundries. I think I let them stomp all over me because THEY feel like I deserve it. They feel that because of me leaving they have a right to say whatever they want and I just HAVE to sit there and take it. I need to get out of that mindset and just hang up the phone.
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52
Need some support
by ~Jen~ ini don't post very often but i'm in need of some support.. i left my husband and the jw's back in the summer.
we have 3 kids and have joint custody of them.. i've spoken to my family once - back in the fall and it was a great conversation - my parents (dad is an elder) said that they just wanted me to be happy however that is.. last week i got a voicemail from my mom saying that she loved me and thought about me every day.
i was so happy.
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~Jen~
I don't post very often but I'm in need of some support.
I left my husband and the JW's back in the summer. We have 3 kids and have joint custody of them.
I've spoken to my family once - back in the fall and it was a great conversation - my parents (dad is an elder) said that they just wanted me to be happy however that is.
Last week I got a voicemail from my mom saying that she loved me and thought about me every day. I was so happy. Then she called later in the day and we talked for a bit. The whole conversation was basically how I ruined my family, how my dad's health has gone downhill and he's depressed and sad - not the same person, my little brother has isses. She didn't say one positive thing. She said she hoped that I could get on my feet and come back so I can be happy and so they could help me. I told her that I was the happiest I've been in years and she actually got upset. She also impied that my kids are going to be messed up and not happy because they have a dad that's a JW and a mom that's not
The my ex called this week - on what would have been our 8 year anniversary. He told me what a horrible person I was. How I've ruined so many lives in my quest to be happy. How I've ruined our kids lives and they are going to be screwed up because they now are from not only a split home but with a religiously split house. He asked me if I felt like a horrible person because I should - and if I don't feel that way then I am a disgusting human being.
I feel like I'm having a complete emotional breakdown. Here I am - alone, have my kids half the week and am working full time. Trying so hard to be a good mom - and I AM so much of a better mom.
Then I have the only people I've ever known who now hate me and think I'm a disgusting "wordly" person. Nothing I ever do can be right in their eyes, no matter how good of a person I am or how good of a mother I am.
SO Frustrating - does it get better?