I'm Alone

~Jen~

I have 1 friend since leaving the Borg. 1 friend who lives an hour away. We talk through out the day, everyday but we only see each other about once a month.

I just found out my ex boyfriend who was trying to win me back and have me come back to him got a girl pregnant about a week or two after we broke up. He wants to still be friends with me and for me to support him and I'm so torn because I had strong feelings for him. If I had a bunch of friends to lean on then I would walk away from him but I feel a pull just because I have no one else in my life right now.

My JW ex is also trying to get me to come back to him. He walked in the house last week and we were talking and he just stopped and started kissing me. I pushed him away and told him he's going to do something he regrets.

I'm so alone, lost and confused right now. My kids are the only thing holding me together. I feel defeated. I feel like going back to the EX because life will never get better. My EX and I were friends but there was never a romantic/sexual connection there. I feel so defeated that i'm wondering if I'll just be better off going back to that unhappiness. Maybe at least it will be better than being alone :(

This is all too much for me. Maybe I would have been better to just stay naive, miserable in the borg. My life is never going to get better :(

asilentone

Jen, you can find more friends near you, you can go to the apostafest section here at JWN and find someone near you or you can tell us where you are located at.

Lozhasleft

I'm so sad to read your post sweetheart and I remember how difficult and lonely it feels when you leave. I left a husband that I'd stayed with too many years unhappily and lost my adult kids to the JWs so I do know. It isnt an easy road and it has its problems just like you're facing now but I tell you what I so wish I'd left sooner..there really is a life out here you know. I have since met a man I adore who loves me so much and built a new happy life...I dont think you should rush to anyone for the wrong reasons...take your time and make a real effort to meet new people however you can and dont settle for anything less than the best in your life..

Sending you big hugs

Loz xx

zzaphod

You`re certainly not alone, although it may feel that way. I`m not the best person to give you advice, being a man my first reaction would be to tell you to give both your ex`s a serious piece of your mind. Things will get better with time, you`re going through a type of grieving process that all of us who have walked away from the WTS went through to some degree. Chin up, however low you feel now things WILL get better.

Love and best wishes

Paul UK

jamiebowers

Right now you are lonely. Go back to either of your exs, and you'll be lonely and miserable. There are so many avenues of making friends. Please check your pms by clicking on the blue envelope in the upper right hand corner of the screen.

yknot

I am soo sorry you are experiencing this 'rough patch'......

But that all it is.... a transitional bump.

You said you have kiddos, well why not get more involved with their activities.....and circulate among the other parents (a wonderful source of dating 'set-ups'!)........ or maybe yall can rotate babysitting so you can go out to some single mixers!

No one ever met Mr. Right by staying home......

Maybe make a point to do some home beauty treatments to give yourself a 'pick-me-up'...... you will feel pretty and when you feel pretty you give off those vibes that attract men. If you don't exercise regularly, make a point to start! It will boost your seratonin levels and increase chemically induced happiness.....which gives good vibes!

Smile at other people more often.....

Maybe spritz your house with aroma therapy scents like mandarin orange or other pleasing citrus scents......

It is hard starting over........just start taking steps forward (without looking back, your past holds no future!).

Adiva

Jen, you've stated twice that 'life will not get any better'. But you've had the courage to pull away from two (2) bad relationships. That shows that you do know life gets better, and that you deserve better.

Can you let us know where you live? ExJW meetups are popping up all over the place. Also, I agree with 'Ynot'. Take care of YOU for you. Put on a great outfit, throw on some lipstick and go out; take the kids with you. Thoughts become things; Choose good ones. Besides, there are lots of single guys with kids, too.

Hugs.

~Jen~

Thanks so much. Adiva - I just posted in the meetup section.

I think I do know that life will get better but I just wonder when. I have so much stress right now and am so scared of being completley on my own and making the wrong decision.

Both of the ex's want me back - my ex husband is telling me he loves me and sends me texts of "remember this...remember that". I feel like I don't have the strength to just tell him to leave me alone because I can't handle this right now. I'm scared to tell him that I'll never be coming back to him and then be alone forever.

My ex boyfriend is calling me giving me updates on his baby mama and their custody situation. Like WTF? I almost *almost* feel like everyone was right about this world eating me alive.

Broken Promises

No, it’s not the world, it’s just the 2 crappy exes you have.

You will continue to be harassed by these guys until you say them, “go away and get out of my life!”

You HAVE to do it, unless you like the attention from these losers.

There’s been a thread floating around the last few days about making new friends. I suggest you read it. I know it’s not easy making friends when all your old friends were JWs, but you’ll get there.

Just hang in there.

And tell those guys to rack off!

its_me!

You have friends here in us, I know that we are on a computer, but depending on where you live, I am sure that there would be people that would be more than willing to get together for coffee and a chat.

I am so sorry that you feel lonely, for me, it is one of the worst feelings, so I can understand why you have been considering going back to your past, but PLEASE resist the urge!!!! If you do, you will set yourself back even further, and I predict that eventually, you would have to do this all over again in the future. Push through the fear and loneliness, and I am confident that there is a bright life waiting for you on the other side!

I'm Alone

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