What's a real friend?
Learn from Jehovah. A real friend is someone who:
- Expect you to obey him
- Expect you to worship him
- Will order you to commit various crimes up to an including genocide
- Will instruct you when to execute family members
- Love for you to make him barbeque, but never shares (except in some cases his special friends, the priests)
- Will hurt others to show how much he cares for you and deserve your respect
- Will knock up your wife if you cannot
- Will give you women to rape if you behave as he expect
- Are ready to punish you every time you do not do exactly as he expect however:
- if you meet certain conditions he will "forgive" you
- You can choose not to be jehovahs friend, only his enemy
Jehovah. A true friend. Who happens to behave like a fucked up african warlord.