Posts by EMTmom

13

Where's the love?

by EMTmom in

jw
friends

i never really post here, but i read all the time.

i need to vent to someone and who better to vent to then all of you?

a little bit of background info.

EMTmom

Wow DJ, thank you for sharing your story. Isn't it amazing how clear things look after you take off the rose colored glasses?

I feel so bad for my husband. He has been clinging to the "truth" for some time. I think it is because of his parents, but he denies it. See, I was in the hospital with preterm labor for three days. No one came to see me, except for my DF'd stepmom, sister and sister in law. The rest of my friends were "worldly". Yes, all these people could drive the 2 hours to my hospital except for the "friends". Had I had my daughter early, the hospital would have forced the blood issue, yet no one cared to show up. And that was when I was a good little Dub.

My husband saw that and felt bad, but said it was because we were so far away. Not quite sure what the excuse was as to why no one could help with my three boys while I was on strict bedrest for 8 weeks. Hmmm. Well, no one except for my evil family and friends.

I just hope that this is the beginning of the end for my husband and that religion. I'm not holding my breath, but it is a nice thought.

And I do think I scared the elders the last time they talked to me. See, we were talking about the blood issue and they had the nerve to say that I "had issues" because of my Mom. Uh, do ya think? I came up for air on that one and they soon left. The one actually told me that his wife at one time needed blood and they stood firm and *poof* she got all better. And how is that supposed to make me feel better? My Mom wasn't good enough? Because she stood firm too and she bled to death on the OR table. Good reasoning there.

You guys have been great. I've gotten more support here then I have ever gotten from the so called "friends"

Heather

23

What did you miss the most while being a kid in the Borg?

by Jessica Rabbit in

jw
friends

the other day i was watching "charlie's angel's" (the weekly series from the '70's) on tvland.

it dawned on me how much i used to wish they had aired that show any night but thursdays.

maybe twice a year, if i was too sick to go to the meeting i would get my hour to watch my favorite star...farrah!

EMTmom

My entire childhood. I missed being able to have friends that weren't witnesses. I was able to have them while in school, but God forbid I do anything with them after school or during the summer.

I also miss actually being able to be in anything in school. I wanted to be in drama and choir, but of course, that was off limits. I wish I could have went to Prom, but a boy might look at me. Doesn't matter that on the night of the Prom, I was at my soon to be husband's house getting our freak nasty on. LOL Yeah, I was one of the many JW children that got married at 18, yet wasn't a virgin on my wedding night.

Ah, to turn back the hands of time.

Heather

13

Where's the love?

by EMTmom in

jw
friends

i never really post here, but i read all the time.

i need to vent to someone and who better to vent to then all of you?

a little bit of background info.

EMTmom

Just wanted to say I understand your dilemna. It seems to me that your husband put you in a terrible spot, and you should do everything within your power to force him not to do it again.

Thanks! I just got through telling him that tomorrow he had a job to do and that was to fill that stupid paper out if he really felt that strongly about it. I was probably a lot harsher then I needed to be, but that is the only way I can get through to him.

I do need to do something legal, I just don't know what steps to take. Since I work in the ER, I have made it clear to all the doctors I work with my wishes. But, it could happen where they would be take to a different hospital. I need to find out what I need to do in that case.

You guys are pretty great. I may come out from lurking more often.

Heather

13

Where's the love?

by EMTmom in

jw
friends

i never really post here, but i read all the time.

i need to vent to someone and who better to vent to then all of you?

a little bit of background info.

EMTmom

Well, if I have my say, they will get blood. They are not adults, so I would not be stepping on their toes. I am sure that would be a huge fight with my husband, but too bad.

As far as his card, he carries that. Just not that ridiculous 4 page paper they have now. That thing is insane. And while he did tell them "no blood" he was also doped up on morphine. I know how the Doctors work. I work with them everyday and I clearly remember what happened with my Mom. Yeah, the person being sliced and diced doesn't want blood, but that doesn't mean they don't come out to the family and try to convince them to change their minds. Been there, done that. Not that I blame them though. My Mom's Dr. refuses to work on JW's anymore.

Yep, the elders are too busy. Kinda pathetic!

Funny, the hospital Chaplain was able to sit down and have a nice chat with him. LOL

13

Where's the love?

by EMTmom in

jw
friends

i never really post here, but i read all the time.

i need to vent to someone and who better to vent to then all of you?

a little bit of background info.

EMTmom

I never really post here, but I read ALL the time. I need to vent to someone and who better to vent to then all of you?

A little bit of background info. My husband and I were both raised in the "truth". We got married when he was 21 and I was 18. My Mom died when I was 9 because her uterus ruptured while she was 7 months pregnant and she refused blood.

I had questions before, but when this blood doctrine changed, I had had enough. It took 8 months of no meeting attendance (after being fairly regular) and my husband begging, before the Elders came to visit me. I explained my problems with the blood doctrine (I just chose that one, since it hit close to home) they had no answers, and I haven't seen them since. My husband is still going with out four young children.

This past Monday, my husband had emergency surgery for his appendix. It almost ruptured. Not one phone call or visit from any of the Elders. They all know. Many of their wives have been up to visit. During service of course. But, not one Elder. One is retired and lives 2 blocks from the hospital and was one that I talked to about the blood. I am so upset I can't think straight and I am going to have it out with them. I don't care at this point what they do to me. Of course, my husband didn't have his Advance Medical Directive done, so had something went wrong, it would have been on me. Now, I hate the rule on blood. I think it is the most stupid thing ever. But I would never force it on my husband against his will. I could never do that to him. I know how he feels, I was once there myself. But, it is not fair for him to leave that to me. Especially since I have had such a problem with the blood issue in the past. I just can't believe no elder showed up to protect him from his spiritually weak wife.

Anyway, I've vented enough for now. I just hope this experience opens his eyes to their ways. I feel bad for him. I hate to see his feelings hurt like this, but maybe this is what it will take for him to see "the light".

Thanks for listening,

Heather

10

Link Between Obesity, Premature Death

by Sam Beli in

as a kid growing up in the jw world it always bothered me that the wts placed so little emphasis on obesity when it sought to place so much control on other aspects of the life of the rank-in-file.

personally, i have no use for smoking, but i always thought that being overweight was at least as "bad" as smoking for ones health and i never understood why they ignored (and left in place fat elders) obesity while dfing smokers.

it seemed hypocritical to me; still does.

EMTmom

I just read this last night and said something to my husband (who is still a VERY faithful JW ). I asked him why he couldn't talk to his sister anymore because she smoked, but yet his other JW sister who is 300 lbs. overweight hasn't been disfellowshipped. He didn't have an answer.

I know the answer though. Every Elder but one at his Hall is overweight. I don't have any room to talk because I am also (although I am working on it successfully). The double standard just floors me.

I mainly lurk out of secret because the Hubby is not fond of me being on these "apostate" boards, but I just had to comment about this. This really bugs me!

EMTmom

25

New here

by EMTmom in

jw
friends

first i just want to say how much this forum has helped me.

i get on here every day and read what's new.

i am 27 years old and have been married since i was 18 (since there isn't anything else for a good sister to do besides get married or pioneer and i wasn't about to pioneer.

EMTmom

WOW!!!

I feel more love and acceptance here than I ever have in my 27 years going to the meetings. I am in awe!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

To Sisteract: Nope, that wasn't me. I have lived in Indiana my entire life. It is sad that someone else has had to go through a similar experience. When I mentioned how upset I was over the blood issue. My husband said instead of being upset, I should be happy that some other little girl won't have to grow up without her Mom. Well, yeah, I'm happy, but I can still be pissed about what they took from me. I think I have that right.

A sister called me today to see if I was doing okay. It took her 2 months of not seeing me to realize somethig was up. She wants to "catch up" tomorrow. I told her that I have to work, but that I might be able to fit her in. I'm not sure if I should say a word about anything or not. Her husband used to be an Elder but was asked to step down because of marital problems.

I have a very bad opinion of the Elders. I think I would rather walk on broken glass then to go to any of them with my problems ever again. I tried that about 6 months ago. My husband was have a few cyber-flings (and then going to the meetings, PUKE) so I told him that if he wanted to move back in, he had to go to the Elders and get help. That was a load of CRAP! They didn't say a word to him about anything. Instead, they handed me 4 Watchtower's and Awake's and how to be a better wife. I couldn't say anything, I was in total shock! I vowed that that would be the LAST time I went to them for any type of help.

56

THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS THING SOMEBODY TOLD YOU

by minimus in

what's the most outrageous thing that you were personally told ,while in the organization??

?

EMTmom

I'm not sure if this qualifies or not, but I thought it was funny anyway.

My husband worked out of town doing road construction and I at the time had a 2 year old, a 9 month old and was pregnant (AGAIN) and my meeting attendance was less than perfect. I was approached by an Elder who worked 2nd shift and was therefore only at the meetings on Sunday, and was told that I needed to improve my meeting attendance. Being the submissive Sister that I was, I tried really hard to keep my mouth shut but I couldn't. =)

25

New here

by EMTmom in

jw
friends

first i just want to say how much this forum has helped me.

i get on here every day and read what's new.

i am 27 years old and have been married since i was 18 (since there isn't anything else for a good sister to do besides get married or pioneer and i wasn't about to pioneer.

EMTmom

I cannot thank you enough for that link Outnfree!! I see now where I was going wrong. The advice rorm all of you has been wonderful. I didn't come to this frame of mind overnight and I shouldn't expect myhusband to change overnight either.

I know exactly what would happen if I went to the Elders. My husband has asked me time and again to go to them because he can't answer my questions. I have told him that I have been in longer then some of these Elders since I have been around it since birth and that they have no more information than I have.

I look forward to getting to know you all better. This forum gives me an outlet that I otherwise wouldn't have.

25

New here

by EMTmom in

jw
friends

first i just want to say how much this forum has helped me.

i get on here every day and read what's new.

i am 27 years old and have been married since i was 18 (since there isn't anything else for a good sister to do besides get married or pioneer and i wasn't about to pioneer.

EMTmom

Thanks Zenpunk and Sirona.

I guess the old saying, "You catch more flys with honey" might hold true in this instance. I have been trying real hard to bite my tongue because usually speaking up only gets me ticked off and starts an argument, which isn't what I want.

I just get so frustrated because it makes sense to me. Although, I have had time to let this sink in. I really don't want to go to the meetings anymore (I am starting a job at the Sheriff's department soon and I am hoping they put me on second shift), but I also don't want my husband to turn into this wonderful martyr who drags 4 young child with him by himself either.

I am sure I will figure something out.