Don't apologize- the word "duped" says it all. It doesn't have any reflection on your personality or inner strengh or anything else. Your on a board where we all know that.
Did you ever experience the feeling where you were encouraging someone about how great Gilead is and how it is such a great goal to have- and you realized that you were lying and that it is really pretty miserable. I experienced that several times as a Bethelite. Telling some kid- "Yeah come to Bethel you'll have so much fun- it is so great!" and meanwhile thinking- yeah- if you consider poverty and lonliness fun!! The org has a way of majorly mind-f'ing you.
I cant really identify with the foreign country stuff- but your stories about morning worship- so true!
Also- did you notice the incredible level of "Stepford wives" shallowness among most bethelites?? I visited some time after I left and was shocked about how separated from reality the whole place is.