RULES & REGULATIONS- Great thread, thanks for starting it . I had a similar situation as yourself. I saw huge injustices committed by elders not only against myself - but against numerous others in the congregations and what angered me was that the elders got away with it with no punishment or answering for their injustices. But if a rank & file JW publisher did similar things- they'd be either reproved, counseled, or DFed for the same offenses. The things you stated about how DFed ones are treated at memorials and elsewhere disgusted me also.
So it was the straw that broke the camel's back for me when elders tried giving me their personal opinions as counsel- instead of the Bible or even going beyond or against what the WT Society counseled to say when counseling a person. I was taught for years from birth that elders allegedly had God's " holy spirit " - but when I saw HOW they counseled and the counsel that was given to me as lunacy and their own opinions I told myself , " there is no way in hell these guys have anything resembling " holy spirit" or God's backing ! " . That's when I left cold turkey walking out of a kingdom hall before a meeting started back in 2003 - and I never went back nor ever looked back. Best decision I ever made. Freedom of mind and freedom of movement is priceless