I found myself agreeing to a lot of the points that were brought up. J and I have always been the easy going type of people who just tend to "go with the flow" of things and not worry too much, but I guess we can't do that in this situation.
I'll talk to him later today and bring up the points brought up in this thread. I will keep you all informed.
Thank you for all your concern and advice.
Posts by Kog
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18Dating a JW for 2 years, his parents just found out.....pending drama...
by Kog inquick background story: .
i have been friends with "j" for over 8 years, and we have been dating for almost 2 years.
he is still living at home and we of course kept this from his friends and family.
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Kog
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18
Dating a JW for 2 years, his parents just found out.....pending drama...
by Kog inquick background story: .
i have been friends with "j" for over 8 years, and we have been dating for almost 2 years.
he is still living at home and we of course kept this from his friends and family.
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Kog
We're both 21.
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18
Dating a JW for 2 years, his parents just found out.....pending drama...
by Kog inquick background story: .
i have been friends with "j" for over 8 years, and we have been dating for almost 2 years.
he is still living at home and we of course kept this from his friends and family.
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Kog
Hello Everyone.
quick background story:
I have been friends with "J" for over 8 years, and we have been dating for almost 2 years. He is still living at home and we of course kept this from his friends and family.
We had plans of keeping our relationship a secret until he moved out of the house. "j" is more concerend about his father losing the elder position and the reputation of his family rather than his own. He told me that the consequesces would only fall on him (and not his family) once he no longer lived under the same roof. He doesn't care about getting disfellowshipped. He states that he isn't much of a JW anyway (he's not much of a fan of meetings, service, and assmblies :) ). **** He is willing to give up being a witness for me****
We have plans of moving in together and eventually getting married once after we graduate college and start our careers.
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Everything was going smoothly until someone at his hall saw us at the movie theaters together and brought it to "J's" fahter. His parents were surprisingly patient about the whole issue and gave me time to think about what to do with the relationship. But I know that it basically boils down to "you're either in or out." A month goes by and I've been stalling with my decision... until the bomb drops.
I have been keeping an online journal for the past 4 years, I've kept it public so the friends that down own accounts can read my entries. Only people close to me knew the URL. until now. Apparently some JWs were snooping around and found my journal and read through it. I'm glad I kept most things about "J" and I as private entries, but some are not. It was his birthday recently and I wrote a quick little birthday shout out to him, and I guess this angered whoever read it because they gave a call to "Js" father. And I'm pretty sure my link has been passed around to other people in the hall.
This happened yesterday and I have already closed all of my entries (that was a lot of work) to the public.
His parents want me to at least try out the religion and go to bible study, if not, then the relationship is over. "If she really loves you, then she would go" they say. That isn't fair, since I can also say "if he really loves me, then he would quit." You can't force faith down my throat. :(
If I don't comply then "J" will be disfellowshipped and his father has to resign unless "j" cuts all ties from me.
I have already made my decision not to go to the bible studies. I came to the conclusion that they won't be satisfied until I convert, going to a few studies will only prolong the situation.
I don't know what to do. I know that a lot of the advice will be for us to break up, but it breaks my heart just thinking about it. Is there any compromise? What will happen now? Will we be able to rehide the relationship until he moves out?
I am willing to answer any questions that you my have for me and I thank you all in advance for your help.