I'd like to hear your thoughts on the following.
The thought of DA'ing pops up in my mind every now and again. At the moment I don't associate with any witnesses. I do walk into them occassionally, but most of them (from different congregations) don't seem to be aware of the fact that I haven't been attending meetings for over a year now. Even when they know they will probably think I'm just a little 'weak' because I've been divorced recently. (To most of the JW's who are not from my own congregation the thought of me not attending will not even cross their minds as they know me as a zealous witness and former pioneer. I hardly ever visit the town where I am supposed to go the meetings and because of that I (almost) never run in to people from my own congo).
So here's the thing: I am living rather quietly at the moment, but still in the process of starting to trust myself in making my own decisions. My house is for sale, but it will take at least a year in this area before it will be sold and I will be able to move. In the mean time I would like to live my own life with my two children. So what will be best? Lay low until I've moved? Or let my oldest daughter have her birthdayparties (last year I really got sick of the hypocrisy: I wasn't planning on celebrating Xmas but a (very nice) JW girl in my daughters classroom got her presents the week before, so she could also tell at school and would not feel left out! Why not celebrate it then???)and associate myself in public with my DF'ed friend, tell everybody I meet (when appropriate) how I feel etc. etc.
Of course I could do just that without DA'ing, which is my personal favourite. But it would annoy me to be DF'ed for one of the above and nobody knowing I had other reasons first(like: not believing it anymore...). The problem is that nobody who leaves will ever be taken seriously, because the 'Truth' is above any discussion so it's always YOU...
And then there's my MM (manipulative mom) who of course will be 'devastated' if I start practising what I preach (think of all the consequences it will have for HER...), and my lying cheating hypocritical ex-husband, who still sees the children, and pretends he will one day return to the 'truth' as if he ever really wanted that for one single day in his life, let alone lived by the rules for more than an hour...
So tell me, do you have any advice for me?
