I called an old witness friend who pretty much ignores the DF rule yesterday. He sounded about the same as he did the last time I saw him 20 years ago. I asked about some of my old friends. Nobody seems to be doing particularly well or not well. It was just weird, thinking of these people, picturing them as I knew them 20 years ago and knowing there lives have gone on without me. its hard to believe its been almost 20 years. so many people just disappeared from my life at once. dozens of friends from Valdosta and Jacksonville combined plus all of my brother's family. just gone. it really messes with my head when i let it. i have to remind myself that the last 20 years of my life have not been empty without them. I have had a successful career in banking and have now started a new career, by choice, in Market Research. I have had a 20 year relationship with a wonderful caring man who still tells me he loves me every day. I have had numerous sets of friends over the years, i tend to drift from set to set, now that I don't have a set set of friends as I did as a witness. As my life interests have changed, so have my friends with the exception of just a few. I've seen the USA from shore to shore and started my International travels with trips to Montreal and Toronto. So, its a matter of facing the reality of life. I can look at my life as being empty without those friends or I can look at my life as full of a new set of people and experiences that I would never have had if I had remained a witness.
joelbear69
JoinedPosts by joelbear69
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called an old friend
by joelbear69 ini called an old witness friend who pretty much ignores the df rule yesterday.
he sounded about the same as he did the last time i saw him 20 years ago.
i asked about some of my old friends.
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Nightmares
by joelbear69 ini had another one last night.
they all center around me seeing jehovah's witnesses from the past who i cared about .
and still care about.
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joelbear69
youngglove, you really hit it on the head. i expect people to be my friends. this leads to disappoint almost 100% of the time. i trust the wrong people. i share too much information too fast. i am overly sensitive to their more hardened ways of dealing with people. i expect too much rigidly defined behavior from them. gosh, i'm still a Jehovah's Witness zombie. i really am. i'm going to a therapist now. i know that i have to insist on being me which is hard for me. attracting people to me will also be a challenge. scary stuff. i have had some success joining a board game group where we all have something in common. it has been hard for me to make gay friends. i had quite a few when i first came out. again, we all had that in common which bonded us together as a group. that lasted for about 10 years. then we all got in relationships, moved, made other friends who shared more in common, etc. and these friendships all disappeared about the time I was 40. The last 9 years have basically been limbo socially. time to start over once again. build on my base of board game friends and a couple of bear friends that i have.
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Japan closes 638 Congregations!!!!! Why???
by Witness 007 injapan since the 1970''s has had amazing publisher increases!
every year the number of witnesses shot up by many thousands.
this peaked in 1998, since then the number of witnesses and congregations has continued to drop!.
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joelbear69
Japan has had a very low birthrate for a number of years.
no bambinos, means little growth for JWs who get most of their growth
through natural birth increases.
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Pedophilia Summary
by LennyinBluemont inive read barbaras intro to the pedophile records and thought it might be useful to have a record here on the forum of the most damning and verifiable facts regarding the pedophilia situation.
sort of a summary.
that way we can all have a source to go to and be able to quickly summarize whats criminal about the way the society has used its authority in this matter.
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joelbear69
such a shame.
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Nightmares
by joelbear69 ini had another one last night.
they all center around me seeing jehovah's witnesses from the past who i cared about .
and still care about.
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joelbear69
bittersweet is I guess the best I will ever do with dealing with my past.
I really still have not learned to just accept and be who I am. So many
years of pretending broke my spirit and a spirit is hard to repair.
Socially I am still almost completely inept. I am terrified of counting on
people to be my friends because I don't think I can stand to lose people
any more. Of course, this leads to me losing more people out of my life.
Vicious cycle. -
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Nightmares
by joelbear69 ini had another one last night.
they all center around me seeing jehovah's witnesses from the past who i cared about .
and still care about.
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joelbear69
hey gregor,
who you calling old? :)
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Nightmares
by joelbear69 ini had another one last night.
they all center around me seeing jehovah's witnesses from the past who i cared about .
and still care about.
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joelbear69
I had another one last night.
They all center around me seeing Jehovah's Witnesses from the past who i cared about
and still care about. Its always very surreal. I am trying to be their
friends again but there are always eerie circumstances that prevent it.
Last night, Chris, my best friend from childhood was in my nightmare.
I will always miss his friendship even though I have not seen him in 20 years.
Also in my dream were my friends Eddie and Cheri from Jacksonville.
I can list hundreds of people that are witnesses whom I love and will never
see again. Its like trying to get your mind to accept hundreds of deaths
of loved ones all at the same time.
The only witnesses who have stayed in contact with me are my parents, but I know
that they only do this hoping that I will return to the witnesses one day. There
is an agenda there, not simply love.
Its been 20 years. I still haven't moved on successfully from this trauma.
I will continue my efforts to find my real life. -
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My District Convention pioneer experiences- I fed my kids from the gutter?
by Witness 007 ini wen't to the district convention 2 years ago, the talk was on "sacrifices," a pioneer couple were interviewed by the c.o.
they had pioneered for many years with two kids, the dad worked part time.
they explianed how money was "tight" for them many times.
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joelbear69
wouldn't that be stealing if they knew the company that the vegetables belonged to?
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What Positive Things Have You Achieved Since Leaving?
by sweet pea inpurps' wonderful thread about love made me wonder about something else.
what have you achieved/become since leaving the organisation that proves there is a happy, successful life outside being a jehovah's witness?
for me, although it's only been a very short time, too short to achieve much, i count becoming: non-judgemental of my fellow man; a mum that can give her kids all the room to grow and blossom without fear of 'sinning' or being kicked out for bad behaviour; a person that can feel comfortable worshipping in a church or not, depending on whatever i feel like doing; someone who can love and give freely and celebrate life in all it's glory (i just love birthdays!
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joelbear69
got my bachelors degree found a life partner who i have been with almost 19 years had a successful career in banking discovered new hobbies travelled almost the entire U.S.
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left 16yrs ago n still have issues and confidence probs,
by xnmad inileft "the truth" 16yrs ago and still cant move on in some areas of my life, i have no family now as they stopped talking to me and have never relented.this has left me with serious problems with needing aproval from people in my life.i have never stopped trying to win my fathers aproval and no i,l never have it unless i go back(which would never happen)jus wondered if any1 else has similar hangups, n if you do, how do i deal with it n move on.
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joelbear69
the need for approval as almost destroyed me several times in my life.
i guess all you can do is keep taking it one day at a time and try to
find people who you can help and who can help you.