called an old friend

joelbear69

I called an old witness friend who pretty much ignores the DF rule yesterday. He sounded about the same as he did the last time I saw him 20 years ago. I asked about some of my old friends. Nobody seems to be doing particularly well or not well. It was just weird, thinking of these people, picturing them as I knew them 20 years ago and knowing there lives have gone on without me. its hard to believe its been almost 20 years. so many people just disappeared from my life at once. dozens of friends from Valdosta and Jacksonville combined plus all of my brother's family. just gone. it really messes with my head when i let it. i have to remind myself that the last 20 years of my life have not been empty without them. I have had a successful career in banking and have now started a new career, by choice, in Market Research. I have had a 20 year relationship with a wonderful caring man who still tells me he loves me every day. I have had numerous sets of friends over the years, i tend to drift from set to set, now that I don't have a set set of friends as I did as a witness. As my life interests have changed, so have my friends with the exception of just a few. I've seen the USA from shore to shore and started my International travels with trips to Montreal and Toronto. So, its a matter of facing the reality of life. I can look at my life as being empty without those friends or I can look at my life as full of a new set of people and experiences that I would never have had if I had remained a witness.

Bumble Bee

I can look at my life as being empty without those friends or I can look at my life as full of a new set of people and experiences that I would never have had if I had remained a witness.

Good for you for seeing a brighter outlook on life!

BB

deaconbluez

Yeah, perspective is something that Witnesses fail to grasp.

My family and friends from my hometown all play the shunning game with me, and the other day I was driving down the interstate and on the opposite lane there was a huge mult-car accident. Laying by an overturned Jeep was a dead woman covered in blood. (Reports confirmed later that she was one of the fatalities.) It made me think of how pathetic it is that any of us could be gone in an instant, and they choose to spend what little time we have together on this planet in such an abusive way. All I can feel is pity for them.

saywhat29

AWWWWWWW!...

I want a man that i can have a 20 year relationship with and tell me that he loves me everyday!

..Or at least a 10 year one and then trade him in and get a newer and younger one. that will tel me hot hot I am in my mature years... without robbing me blind of course.

4digitcode

joel, i want you to know that we understant(those of us who are df'ed) and relate totally to what you say. i know i've felt the same way and still do, as you do.

i called an old friend of mine this week to ask him this very question :' are your lives just going on without me?'
and the answer was basically YES it has to. and so does yours. and as i can see it has. these moments will happen because not only you have lost people you love but you also know unlike JWs that the casualty in relationships that this had caused is not all done for the sake of satisfying the will of a grand creator. it is just a controlling policy set forth by an abusive religion.

you can have a satisfying life without them. and you can only feel sad for them that not only are sacrificing their sometimes life-long friendships but their youth, talents, and personalities for this sect.

it's hard not to become bitter but i'm sure you have no reason to. you have a wonderful marriage and career ....and a whole lot of people who can be a support to you here!

take care.

Open mind

Hi joelbear,

I'm just curious if PART of what you're feeling is an awareness of just how short life is and looking back at pieces of it that will never be again. Don't get me wrong, I'm in NO WAY trying to minimize the pain and evil of the shunning policy.

But sometimes I look back on my high school years in a small town in another state and realize that those people (non-JW fellow students) are long gone from my life. It's just kind of a sentimental nostalgia that I go through now and then. If that is a part of what you're feeling, you're not alone.

We all swim around in the sea of humanity for such a brief time. I'm just glad to have most of my heart and brain back for what's left of it.

Take care joelbear,

Open Mind

Gopher

Joel,

Thanks for the update and good to hear from you again !!

For the past 2 decades you've been doing something called "living your life". This is a concept the JW's generally don't understand because they're too busy on their treadmill, exhausting themselves and getting absolutely nowhere.

Best of all you have friends who do not judge you based on performance/outward appearance of righteousness, but rather by how good and kind you are.

jaguarbass

I can look at my life as being empty without those friends or I can look at my life as full of a new set of people and experiences that I would never have had if I had remained a witness.

Keep it on the good foot.

called an old friend

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