(((Jeff))) sweetheart, your post saddens me and my heart is going out to you. I just wanna hug you right now!
I have no words of wisdom. I have nothing to give you accept Love. Light. and a VH (Virtual Hug)
May the dawn rise soon on your path as you tread this "dark night of the soul".
Blessings,
~Brigid
p.s. What you are regionally, politically, socially, religiously does not really matter so much as who you are in essence. And there is enlightenment to be had within Christianity. Jesus was the bomb! I might even be a Christian if...well never mind. Follow your path.