I was studying with Jehovah's Witnesses during my college years. I found that they somehow was able to make me understand many of the meanings from the bible that I had never understood before. I had a clearer sight of what it was to walk as a Christian. I became very zealous for doing things that the bible instructed me to do and preaching this good news of God's Kingdom to everyone I came into contact with. How joyful I was to tell others about the wonderful things that were in store for them after all of the wickedness was taken away. I met many people who listened and wanted to learn more and some who were a bit skeptical, while some were very belligerent and did not want anything to do with God.
Fast forward several years and I was working my life into something that I would be able to say that I had a clean conscience before my God. I married a wonderful girl who was exactly what I had prayed for. Someone who came from the same background as I did and was not "raised in the truth" as the saying goes for those children who were raised as JW's. Because my father traveled frequently during my childhood years, I was sent to any church that would come and pick us up, or to my parents, take us away for a few hours every Sunday. I went to some very interesting churches and learned some about people and a little bit about God. It was usually the same principles taught just about everywhere I went.
Well times goes by and we have two beautiful children. I am blessed by my God and continue to do the things that I was taught.
The internet is a funny thing. It can open your eyes to some intriguing thoughts or mislead you into some wayward path. Discretion and testing must be used for everything that comes off of the net. Well, it appears that many people have done some digging into the past and not so distant past of that organization’s leadership which I claim to be a part of. Some of the findings showed that the leadership acted in a way that betrayed their teachings. Like when someone says, “Do as I say, not as I do.” This was a bit disheartening. I was taught to accept all things taught as the Truth, without questions, for fear of being disfellowshipped. And yet the bible teaches us to test out everything to see whether or not it comes from God.
A quandary is now present everywhere I turn. Being at the meetings, I know and believe in my heart that I go to learn about God and worship Him and Praise Him with songs and prayers. But I also know that those who are in a leadership position have done things that they have not acknowledged, nor even apologized for. Instead, they have dismissed it as being insignificant. I am having trouble coming to terms with that. Somehow I know that things like this have happened to God’s chosen people of the past and I reason, why should today be any different. The Jehovah’s Witnesses claim to have the “Truth” and I believe that they are the closest to it than others that I have studied. But yet, I know that these are just sinful men who do make mistakes and God will deal with them on his timescale. Why should today’s governing body be any different from the high priests of the ancient Israelites who sinned against God and were punished in due time. I keep telling myself that and that I should be patient but continue my worship.
I have made mistakes and I was taught that I should go before the elders and lay my sins so that the older men who were spiritually wise would pray for me on my behalf as they would have a better standing before Jehovah. I also thought that if anyone should sin, they too should do the same thing. However, it appears that some think or feel that they are above the Law.
Reading through the bible I learned that just because a King was evil did not mean that all of the inhabitants of that kingdom were evil, many still clung to what was good and kept doing good in God’s Eyes. And the opposite was true, if there was a good King, not everyone was practicing ‘good’. So as today when people in the leadership positions of the Jehovah’s Witnesses do sin against God, it does not mean that the entire believers are also doing what is bad. It means that some were drawn out and tempted, but not beyond what they could endure, and failed the test. Jehovah is a loving God who wants people to forget their sinful ways and do what is ‘good’. It’s just that now, I am very carefully testing everything I read and am taught to ensure that it does follow God’s word and does not go against it. I keep in close contact with Jehovah through prayer through Jesus for help in understanding what I hear, read and see. I also pray for patience regarding these bad things and for protection from them for me and my family.