Posts by GoingGoingGone

55

Wife Update...

by XJW4EVR in

jw
friends

for those that remember my wife was attacked and nearly raped back in march.

yesterday, was the preliminary hearing for the "alleged" attacker.

my wife had to relive that morning in front of that bastard once again.

Wow, that took a tremendous amount of courage! I'm sure that your support helped your wife more than you know.

I hope this slimeball gets put away for a long, long, long time. And I hope that you and your wife both make it through this whole process with a minimum of pain.

(((((((((((((((XJW4EVR's wife)))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((XJW4EVR))))))))))))))

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

Wasanelder Once: Totally agree with what you said.

cognizant dissident: "Wonder why ex-PO is no longer an elder? Wouldn't it be something if it was stuff your son said that caused him to have doubts and step down?"
THAT would be sweet. But I think the reason is family problems. On the other hand, without all his elder-duties, he probably has more time to think. So you never know!

tak: "what was it he was going to show, I would like to look that up myself."
Among other things - He would read Deut. 18:20-22: "20 “‘However, the prophet who presumes to speak in my name a word that I have not commanded him to speak or who speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die. 21 And in case you should say in your heart: “How shall we know the word that Jehovah has not spoken?” 22 when the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him." Then, he would show him a list of things that the WT has 'prophesied', for example quotes from WT articles which say how close the end is, that college is unnecessary because young people (in 1969) would never grow up in this system, etc.... If you're interested in a more comprehensive list, pm me an email address and I'll get it to you. I've gotten a new computer and don't all my files on this one yet.

Gopher: "I think your son has given the P.O. more than reasonable time to answer. Now if he wants to meet with the P.O. for just a friendly chat at a McDonalds or coffee house, it wouldn't be so formal as a "sit down"."
I agree. But I do think that one reason the PO didn't answer was the family stuff that happened with him just about that time. So a less formal meeting would be good, it would give the ex-PO a chance to present his info, and my husband couldn't say that there IS an answer, but that my son just wouldn't listen to it.... or some such nonsense.

So, we are just waiting for the other (rejected - haha!) elders to decide what they want to do. I'll letcha know!

GGG

47

Let's Hear it For Simon -Thanks For This Board - And All it Accomplishes

by flipper in

jw
friends

i think it's only appropriate to put out a thread to thank simon for the great job he does in moderating this board, watching over discussions to make sure that the purpose of jwd discussion stays focused .

i believe that he and the mods do a great job in helping this board along in it's journey - and enables us to have the freedom of speech- without having fear of reprisal - as long as the guidelines are met.

so, i for one would like to personally thank you simon - for bringing this board into existence, as it has helped many to be able to vent after leaving the jehovah's witnesses cult, and get support, and for others it has helped them have a great place to discuss many important topics that have a heavy play in many of our lives !

GoingGoingGone

Thanks Simon!

And thanks to the mods, too.

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

Well, there was no meeting with the elders tonight. But the saga continues....

My son called his dad today at work and asked what the elders wanted to talk to him about. It was, indeed, the offending text messages. My son said that he was simply expressing what he believed, and that he did not want to talk to Elder X and Elder Y. (Superior hard-liner types.) He would, however, meet with the PO (nice, respectful, intelligent guy.) He spoke to the PO months ago, after telling his dad that he wasn't going to be a JW, and presented him with info on the WT-UN-NGO connection and false prophecies, among other things. The PO was going to get back to him and never did.

Well, it turns out that the PO is no longer an elder! News to me... anyway, my husband asked if my son would meet with the ex-PO, and Elder X. My son said no, no Elder X... he sees no point. So my husband was going to call Elder X and see what he says. We haven't heard anything yet, I'm sure they're conferring.... *eye roll*

I don't think my husband will press the issue too much. My son told me that he feels he should sit down with the ex-PO for his dad's sake, though. The reason for the first meeting months ago was so that the PO could address the doubts my son had. He didn't have answers for him then, and if he has answers now, then my son wants to hear them. He doesn't want his father to think that he operates with a hit-and-run type mentality.... throw out accusations and don't listen to the rebuttal. I am 99.99% certain that there is nothing that could convince my son that the JWs have "the truth", so that's not a concern.

Thanks again for the support and the suggestions and help to simply get things in perspective. Love you guys!

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

cog: "The fact that your son agreed to the meeting even after he told you he didn't want to do it, shows he is susceptible to pressure."
I agree - but I think he is most susceptible to pressure from his dad. He'll bend a little to keep his dad happy. But he doesn't really care what the JWs think.
"Have you considered stepping in on his behalf and telling his father that he does not really want the meeting and you support and encourage his right not to attend it 100%?"
That's one reason I'm going to talk to my son again, to find out what he really wants. He knows I will stick up for him if he needs me to.

AudeSapere: "The bigger deal is what effect the pressure from the elders will have on the father and son relationship. Because the son is so outspoken and is indeed going to college, the father will likely be encouraged to start withdrawing emotional and financial support."
The father-son relationship is what I'm most concerned with as well. They love each other, and I will NOT let the WTS interfere with that if I have anything to say about it. As far as withdrawing emotional and financial support, that is very unlikely.

As far as 'marking'... my son has mostly worldly friends now anyway. He has one friend he misses a lot, but it's not this guy.

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

Ok here's the latest.

I talked to my son last night when he got home. I told him that I really didn't think that there was any point in his meeting with the elders this time. More likely than not, their goal is to make him stop speaking his mind, using whatever means they have at their disposal.

He agreed. He decided to tell his dad that he's changed his mind and does not want to talk to those 2 elders, but that he could talk to the PO if he must speak to someone (he's spoken to the PO before and knows him well.)

Then today, as his dad is headed out the door to the meeting he says, "So then I'll tell brothers X and Y that you can meet with them on Monday night." And feeling that he hasn't had time to explain himself to his dad, my son says ok.

So I still don't know what's happening. The thing is, I don't think my son cares one way or the other about meeting with them. He knows it's a load of crap and isn't afraid to tell them so. I just don't think that he fully realizes the depths to which some elders will sink to make people do what they want.

I'm going to talk to him again in the morning and see what he really wants to do. If he does go, I'm going to tell him NOT to put up with any bullying, that he should go in there with a respectful tone and expect to be treated respectfully in return. If he is not, or feels threatened or belittled or anything of the kind, he should leave immediately. Honestly, I'd rather that he just didn't go at this point. Avoid them, cancel at the last minute, etc.

I'll keep you informed on what happens! And thanks again for the support.

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

Thanks again for all the replies!

You guys are right, I am starting to think that his meeting with these 2 elders is a bad idea. When he told his dad he wasn't going to be a JW and wasn't going to be going to meetings anymore, his dad wanted him to meet with the PO and see if he could answer his questions. My son did what his father asked - he met, was respectful (but informed), asked his questions, and got no satisfying answers. So he stopped going to meetings.

This time is different. He's committed the sin of expressing his thoughts to others. They don't want to know why, most likely. They just want to make him stop. Which means this will not be a reasonable, logical conversation. It could turn into 2 grown men bullying (or even threatening) a minor.

I'm going to talk to him when he gets home (he's at a school friend's graduation party! Love it!) He already told his dad he'd meet with the elders on Monday night. I'd like to tell him to cancel. I hope his dad doesn't have a fit.

I'll let you know what happens.

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

Elsewhere: "JW friend: Hillary Clinton is teaming up with Obama to ban religion! Isn't that great??!!
Where they hell did that idea come from??? Did the JW provide a source?"

ROFL!!!!! A source??!! LOL!!
Oh, sorry.... Nope, no source.

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

Thank you for the replies!

Gopher: "Why does your son need to meet with the elders?"
He doesn't really need to. But these are people his father interacts with several times a week, and it would be nice to keep the peace. Within reason, of course.

Aniron: "JW friend: Hillary Clinton is teaming up with Obama to ban religion! Isn't that great??!! Where the hell did he get that idea from?"
Who knows! Start a rumor at a JW convention and it spreads like wildfire. Probably embellished along the way as well.

Jamiebowers: "Your son has no obligation to meet with the elders, and doing so, will only make things difficult for his father. Jws shun da'd people too, you know."
My son isn't baptized, so they can't do anything to him. Still might make it difficult for his father, though, that's my concern.
"These elders will never listen to or accept any criticism of the WTB&TS, even if proof is found in the WT magazine."
They may not accept any criticism, but they will hear what he says. You can't un-ring a bell. Who knows....

Zico: Interesting article! Thanks for the link.

Nameless_One: "How does your son feel about all this? Does he WANT to meet with them and lay out all that he's learned and why he wants no part of it anymore?"
In one way, yes, he does want to meet with them and "clear his name" so to speak. He wants them to know that he's left the JWs because he KNOWS that they are WRONG, and he can prove it from their own literature. In fact, a few months back he DID meet with the PO (a really nice guy), who offered to answer any questions he might have about "the truth." He brought up the UN-NGO connection, the false prophecies, and the elder ended up giving half-answers and became accusatory when he couldn't defend the WTS's actions logically any longer. The fact that they have 2 elders lined up now is pretty pathetic.

The more I think about this, the more I am also wondering if they simply mean to bully him. At the very least, they will probably try to tell him that he cannot offer to prove that the WTS is a false prophet to members of their congregation. I can't go with him, because they'll turn on me in a second and I CAN be DF'd. If my husband goes, he'll be on THEIR side, or at the very least, not stick up for my son if that should be called for.

Thanks for the comments. It's so hard to make the right decision when I'm in the middle of the situation.

GGG

48

Son sends "apostate" text message - Now the elders want to talk to him!!

by GoingGoingGone in

my 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a jw anymore about 8 months ago i think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies.

he's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend.

GoingGoingGone

My 17 year old son told his dad that he didn't want to be a JW anymore about 8 months ago I think, and doesn't go to meetings or assemblies. He's been accepted to one of the best universities in the country and will start this fall, with his dad's blessing.

Their congregation had the summer convention this past weekend. Full of anti-apostate, anti-college stuff. On Monday, right after the assembly, one of my son's JW friends (who happens to avoid him now, since my son's inactive) sent him a text message. Here's the gist of it:

JW friend: Hillary Clinton is teaming up with Obama to ban religion! Isn't that great??!!

Son: Why is that great?

JW friend: Because it means that the end will be here soon!! You really need to get your relationship with Jehovah straightened out.

Son: I don't believe what JWs teach anymore, and I can show you from the WT Library and the bible that they are false prophets.

JW friend: No thanks. That's apostate thinking.

Son: There's a reason I haven't been to meetings in forever. I'm not offering to show you something from the internet or some book, it's from the WT publications, which the JWs use, and the Bible, God's word. (he doesn't believe that presently but whatever.)

JW friend: I'm done here. I feel sorry for you.

There was more but those were the basics. At any rate, this kid has gone to the elders, no doubt, because my husband told my son today that 2 of the elders want to talk to him Monday night. They can't do anything to him because he's not baptized (my fault - *huge grin!!*)

I think he should go to that meeting prepared. Print out info he has, references, basically the reasons why he doesn't believe the JW teachings anymore. First of all, it would cement the fact that they are teaching a bunch of crap in his own mind. Also, he's a smart cookie, he's 17, and he's not baptized. He has the freedom to say things and vocalize doubts that these elders have probably NEVER had the opportunity to hear!!! It's an opportunity I can hardly stand to see him pass up. And, being his mother, I don't want these guys to think that my kid has rejected the JWs simply because he can't be bothered. They need to know that there are sound reasons behind his choice. And it was a choice.

The dilemma is this, though: With all the anti-college stuff flying around in WT World lately, I'm afraid that my son's being so blatantly honest about his reasons for leaving might cause him problems with his JW dad. Or rather, the elders might cause problems for his JW dad, which will then translate into problems between father/son. On the other hand, both kids are out of the WT and in college, and despite my fears that their actions would affect their relationship with their dad, it hasn't so far.

Another thing - if he does bring info to the meeting w/the elders, does anyone have suggestions for what he should bring up? And how, and how much?

Thanks in advance for your help. Hubby's on his way home and will be around the rest of the day so I'll check back on this thread as I am able. Love you guys!

GGG