Posts by coolhandluke

denzel washington puts on a great performance and the movie is based on a true story of drug proliferation in nyc from the 60s and 70s.. great movie!.

the movie was just okay imo. there was very little backstory about what drove either character. attemtpting to have a balanced view of both of their lives was an interesting though at times irritating vehicle. the character development about who these men truly were and why they did what they did was absolutely nill. in the book it explaines how frank met up with bumpy, etc. in 2 and a half hours this could have been done and this movie would be on par with the godfather. but its not. its just okay

236

For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess in

jw
friends

dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

coolhandluke

Funny, I was more interested in touching your mind CoolHand. Go figure.

Ha! More interested. So you are interested in touching my arms. I have actually enjoyed this. It is nice to see your perspective and that you don't back down but are not above seeing another point of view and even adding it to your own. I think we've done good work here.

236

For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess in

jw
friends

dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

coolhandluke

I'd agree with you. But the world is not an enlightened place. I would love it if people would just be themselves. Then I wouldn't have to have a degree in psychology to know what it was they were really thinking or really meant.

Fawk. We are so off the subject. Here is the bottom line. I would love to exist in utopia. Then you'd be free to walk down the street butt assed naked and I'd benefit by getting to see your bits before even having a conversation. And then you could tell how much I liked your bits by the prominent or not so prominent display of my bits. No one would judge. That would be real nice. It would be even nicer to change the world to that. But that sh*t aint the reality.

The truth is, I'm a man. I look at boobs. I like em. They are fan-freaking-tastic. The more out of their shirt that they are, the more I have to fight the urge to stare at them. That is removing all things about societal ills and how we raise our kids. I have big arms. If I wear a shirt two sizes two small, they are more pronounced. Chicks look at them. Some lick their lips. Who wouldn't? They are nice arms. And you my dear Sweetstuff have an unbelieveable rack. No political correctness. If you wear a burlap bag I might look. But if you wear a boobie shirt, I'm definitely going to notice. Judgements aside for your character, I'm going to notice. And to be honest, I will probably wanna touch em. And you, you will want to touch my arms.

236

For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess in

jw
friends

dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

coolhandluke

Not that it matters, but I just felt like saying, I feel a certain appreciation for what coolhandluke has been saying as well as the way it has been said

thank you. that means a lot. i really appreciated your argument and the way it was worded as well. the way you raise your daughter is admirable in that it is organic progress from the way in which you were raised. that is emotional evolution and i praise you for it.

236

For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess in

jw
friends

dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

coolhandluke

i

Coolhandluke: what's more of a statement of "LOOK AT ME"? Wearing a shirt that shows I am a woman, or branding your flesh forever by means of body modification. And starting a thread about it, no less. Do you see the irony in your statement? You may want people to judge you for other things yet you choose to get tattoos for your own personal reasons, but still you choose to you sit on your high moral horse and suggest that because you are "above" such things you don't "judge" yet you can see why other's shouldn't dress a certain way or show certain things unless they are looking for a certain reaction, when you yourself buck conformity because it's right for you? I think I am going to be ill.

Do you know where my tattoo's are? They are on my back. No one knows they are there. Look Sweetstuff, I am not criticizing you for what you wear. You are a woman, proud and accomplished. I have no idea the fortitude it takes to raise kids. I have no idea what its like to survive that on your own. That makes you strong as hell in my book. In that strength though I assume you've had to be responsible not only to yourself but your children. Responsible for what you say, what you do, what they say and what they do. Is that not correct? You cannot control that you are an attractive woman with a nice body much as I can control being a large black man who looks like he crushes things. I'm a gentle guy and you aren't some cheap floozy. It doesn't matter what we wear or how we conduct ourselves, the world sees us a certain way. I'm above no one and my morals nor yours are in question here. All I'm saying is that when someone wears suggestive clothing people will think a certain way and form certain opinions. If I had tattoos on my face, they'd do the same.

I got to admit, I think I am more disappointed in you for this attittude than I would be with alot of people. You dare to be different, that kilt wearing, tattooed larrikin who's strong and independant, yet, I'm a 30 something baggage carrying flirty floozy who's just begging for attention right? LOL Oh, wait, that's not how you see me, but you would never date a woman like "me", ROFL. This is priceless. Really, it is.

I'm sorry I disappointed you. I truly am. When I wear my kilt out I do it for attention. I do it to start conversations, to be different. As for baggage, who doesnt have it. All I meant by my statements was that we all have a part of us that snaps to judgement. It is how we are wired. How we make decisions, by comparing it to things we know to be our own personal private reality of truth.

As for me being a mid thirties woman with "baggage", define "baggage" please. Do you have no issues from your past? Would you want people to "assume" because you have tattoos that you must have "baggage"? Have all your past relationships worked out perfectly? Are you in a successful longterm marriage? What gems of wisdom from your baggage free existence can you share with someone as misguided as myself.

I'm 28. No one makes it to this age or yours for that matter without baggage. I'll define my interpretation of baggage. Baggage involves experiences that we carry with us that shape and define how we perceive things. At times it can be negative. It makes us see people a certain way, helps to protect us from harm in situations that remind us of things that have caused past dammage. Sometimes our baggage is our ties to people that are impossible to irradicate from our lives. We simply must deal with them for one reason or another. I don't think children are baggage so I hope that is not what you thought I meant. I don't think you are misguided. I don't really know you. Again everything that I've said to you is based on the human nature of judging those we see based on nothing more than what we see to help us understand who they are and how we should relate to them. Maybe its evolution. "Thats a big assed dinosaur. He looks hungry. Maybe I should hide." "That nest of eggs looks unprotected. Maybe I can get one of them before the parents return." I really don't know.

And btw, I like your tattoos, I respect your right to be an idividual, the difference is this, I would never assume you must be inferior in any way because of it (morally, mentally, socially), yet, because I have breasts and some of them, that's right, some cleavage appears in my avatar, I must be "looking for a certain reaction" right? The look on my face is just asking for it, right? What is the intent of your avatar picture?

BTW, I like your picture. I think you are hot. If you walked past me on the street, I'd stop you and say "Listen, I know this is strange, me stopping you like this but I'm going to kick myself later if I don't find out your name and what you are like. Can we have tea sometime? At worst, perhaps we can make friends." I would never suggest that a look or a manner of dress is "asking for it" if asking for it is violence or actions unbecoming a gentleman. But if "asking for it" is attention, if you smiling at me from across the room is for attention, if you flirting with me is asking for attention, then yes, you are asking for it. The intent of my avatar picture is attention. I like the kilt. I like that people pay attention to it. I like that it starts conversations. I like that women wonder if I have the intestinal fortitude to wear it without underwear. I like that its different and singles me out. I like that. I'm an attention whore in some cases.

We all, men and women express our sexuality in different ways and forms. Some are more comfortable with it than others, some reveal it in their dress, purposefully, or without realizing it. Some in the way they conduct themselves, some may be very conservative day-to-day. But in private can be voyeristic, liking to be "seen", as long as they believe its a private matter. Yet be the first to point a judgemental finger in public at others thinking their secrets protected.

I agree wholeheartedly. I don't like judgemental people. therefore I really don't like me. I try my best to contain it but it is my nature. It is your nature too. It is all of our natures. When this person you describe sees someone outwardly, publically displaying what they are inwardly and privately it strikes a cord that says, "You are just like me but lacking my inhibitions. My noticing you exposes me inside my own head for the "freak" I don't want people to see I am." Much as perhaps your reaction at being told that how you dress evokes a certain reaction exposes the parts inside you that are really that way and how that is in contrast to how you want to be able to dress and appear however you want without judgement.

In the end, human sexuality is a very mysterious thing and the less judgemental we all are, the better.

Agreed. I'll try with you.

236

For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess in

jw
friends

dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

coolhandluke

Oh, one more thing,

Sweetstuff? You can't tell me that that picture of you doesn't have a flirty look to it. Get real. It isn't your ample and nice bossom hanging out. Its the flirty look on your face. It isn't down to character either. I think you are an intelligent, clever woman. I think that speaks louder than your avatar. But if that was all I knew about you, I'd say, 'There is a woman in her mid thirties who has a child, a failed relationship and some baggage who is trying to get my attention.' And I'd be wrong. But that is the snap judgement I'd make. Why? Because I'm human and the way you look in the picture fits into a category in my head based on my past experiences. Again. I'd be totally wrong. But that is my judgement.

236

For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess in

jw
friends

dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

coolhandluke

So what if a really fat man dresses in a dirty t shirt that accentuates his oversized hairy belly, burps, scratches and has trouble keeping his pants up. Do you judge him? I mean do you have the right to? He is dressed that way for him, not for you to judge.

Do you cross the street when you see 2 muscular black men dressed "thugishly"?

I mean seriously. You can't have your "Don't judge me, I'm an empowered woman" cake and eat it too.

Respect? Sure. Always. But let it cut both ways.

236

For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

by NotaNess in

jw
friends

dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

coolhandluke

Why don't you work on growing a set and acting with a bit of maturity instead of throwing stereotypes about women around like you do your blow up doll, er "wife". Don't hate the messenger k?

I was thinking long and hard about this thread. It seems that when people touch a nerve inside of us that borders on how we are percieved and how we perceive ourselves it invokes a raging fire. Sweetstuff? I dont see where the call for maturity and a subsequent attack on this posters wife has anything to do with each other. It bothered me.

I don't profess to know what you were thinking in your photo but I'm a man. I'm motivated by what I see. Its just a part of my biology. I noticed it. I noticed your cleavage and I moved on. I'm not going to apologize for how I'm wired. I see an attractive woman, I look. She could be wearing a moo moo. I don't care. Attractive women draw my attention. Interesting looking women draw my attention. Women who are out "looking for attention" or dressed provocatively get my full eye contact. The reason for this is I'm not interested. I don't want to be with a woman who wants to show me all of her goodies before I know her name. I just don't.

I found it startling that so many assumptions were instantly generated by it regarding personal motives and character. I find this sort of thing happens a lot in more intimate personal relationships, to no one's benefit. Empassioned assumptions, a rush to judgment. It is better, I think, to question first, to contemplate, to tease the matter out a bit.

I have to agree. The way this thread was "dressed" is in bad form in my opinion. It could have been more modest, more tasteful and we would have seen the soul of it and not the whorish manner it came out of the house. Maybe we could have gotten to know the personality, seen the smile and judged the character before we saw it begging for our attention.

So, I for my part, won't ever dress like a grandma again, to be patronized by a group of men who don't want to be reminded of a woman's sexuality or freedom of expression due to their lack of self control. I burned all my jw clothes a long time ago, good riddance to subjection to dictatorship.

And more power to you. Don't get mad though when I notice you. I'm not going to oggle you because I have self control. But I am going to look. The thing is, men are made to be responsible for their actions and how those actions affect others. Motives for why you wear something are unimportant. No one has the right to tell you to do anything unless it affects their freedoms. So hell, as long as you are not my daughter, wear whatever you want. No man has the right to make you feel less than human, less than womanly or less than free based on anything that you wear. The right he does have though is to judge you in his own mind however he wants. That is his right. He doesnt have the right to say it, or touch you or make you feel bad, but he can think whatever he wants.

I want kids. I want a daughter. I want her to look up to me like her superman. I want the men she surrounds herself with to be worthy of her. I don't want them to be there because she's got some 'nice titties' or because she has a 'bangin ass'. I want them to respect her and admire her. The only way I know how to do that is to emphasize to her that the world is imperfect and unfair. Men who have power and women who have power will judge and critisize her and make judgements based on how she dresses and how she carries herself. It isn't fair. But its the way of the world.

I have tattoos and they are all hidden because people will judge me on this. I have long hair so I have to almost always be dressed more professionally than everyone around me so that I can draw attention to the man and not what the man looks like so that my points can be heard. You have nice breasts. You have a nice behind. You have some amazing hips and your thighs make me think bad things. That is the way I am. For the sake of equality and correctness, I'm trying my best to control it. But that is the way I am. I'm going to notice. But I'm not going to tell you that I did or make you feel objectified. But I'm going to think bad things. Really, really bad things.

On the flip side, if I see a fit, well toned man in a tight shirt I think to myself, "Damn. That is a good looking dude. I wonder if he's got a money maker (you know what I'm talking about). How did he get like that? Is it his diet? Genetics? Damn!" Thats just how I am.