My life was a mess while I was in and I was a servant.
After I got out things didn't get much better for lmost a year.
Then, one night while I was reading a bible (Not the NWT) I opened it up to Romans chapter 8 and read it.
That is when Jesus rescued me from my sins.
My sins had kept me alientated from Him because I had been taught almost all my life that it was wrong to pray to Jesus.
After I prayed to Him something immediately happened that is indescribable.
Since then I have enjoyed personal contact with Jesus and He is there for me 24/7 365.
The problem people have is being humble enough to tell Jesus that they are sinners and can't fix that no matter how hard they try.
Another problem is that most people believe they have to be part of the herd and all that does is give them somewhat of a social life but it still doesn't fix their sin problem.
You say your life is a mess.
It will stay a mess even if you go back to the kingdom hall because you will be trying to please God by adhering to a huge list of rules and regulations which no one can live up to.
If you can't resist the temptation go back to the kingdom hall but let God's grace wash over you through a relationship with Jesus and you will know peace like you've never known before.