This is probably the hardest topic I could respond to. I cannot respond fully. As I have written before, I was born in our house, that was being used as a kingdom hall. We moved from that house when I was two years old, so I can tell when some things happened because of that fact.
Sometime, before I was two years old, my father, in his zeal for the organization, was trying to prepare us for the persecution ahead. I remember seeing our table covered with pictures of the bodies of the Jewish people in Nazi Germany. I do not remember the exact words but the idea was instilled in my siblings and me, that something similar would happen to us before the end of the system.
I think that the upbringing I had in the organization has been responsible for just about everything in my life, really, how could it not?
There were many times when I did wrongs in my life, thinking, "I will not live in the new world anyway, what difference does it make if I do right or wrong" I could never be good enough to please Jehovah.
There were times, even when very young, when I was forced to go from door to door, or to meetings, etc. when things happened that embarrassed me so much I will not even talk about them now. Times when I was sick etc.
I realize that the organization may not have been directly responsible for some of those things, but they were constantly telling their followers that the end was very near and we must put the preaching and other organizational matters above everything else. My parents took those teachings very seriously, so they of course, acted accordingly.
Some of you are not old enough to know how things were back in the 40s etc. the organization was a lot different back then, much stricter, more demanding, more blunt. We were living in a time of persecution because the second world war was going on, and there was very great patriotism in our country. Later there was the threat of communism, being called a commumist by people at the doors, in school, and elsewhere.
There is so much that comes to mind, we would never need the education, the end was too close. How does a child take education seriously, when the child is raised with that attitude?
I could write a very long book, that is of course, if I had the education to actually use proper sentence, paragraph, structure.
Even worse, I was somewhat like that with my own children.
Just a few thoughts that I hope may help someone.
Borgfree
"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home." Edward R. Murrow