Crumpet

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Posts by Crumpet

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  124

  social retard

  by MerryMagdalene in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

  it really is painful and scary for me.

  i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

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  Crumpet

  I did not lead a double life and would never have dreamed of going out behind my parents' back for social time. The few times someone tried to arrange social events for teens, it was promptly quashed by the elders--especially my own father.

  Odrade:

  Snap! That exactly describes how it was in our congregation!

  Jez are sure this was a witness congregation and not some other religion you attended? LOL! I like what you said about not being a hypocrite, perhaps you weren't, but weren't forced to be one either. I'm not trying to squeeze everyone into the same box or resenting you for having had a better experience, but if it was so good why did you leave? What I am trying to do is find experiences on this board that I can empathise with and learn from other people's experiences how they got over them so that I can too.

  Diamondblue - thank you for springing to my defences - true Brit spirit! hehe.
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  124

  social retard

  by MerryMagdalene in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

  it really is painful and scary for me.

  i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

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  Crumpet

  btw the Jez your comment upset me. I guess there had to be a first time on this board for me so I'm not going home to cry or anything...much...

  Could it be anything else that causes you to be a bit of a recluse? It is easy to blame everything on living the life of a JW, but it COULD be other reasons as well.

  Maybe you are right - maybe if I had been brought up in a loving family was allowed to go to school wasnt made to watch my every word and thought i would still have been a freak. I'll never know, but what I do know now is that I am growing much more confident and am starting to be able to speak my mind.

  It sounds like you Jez had the not so unique experience of the well trained hypocrite, but some of us were sincere and tried to do everything right and when we didnt we owned up and were subsequently punished by being marked and shunned when we should have been learning to socialise. In saying this I am not criticising you at all - on the contrary I admire your duplicity and ability to do this without being crushed by your consicence. I just wasnt like that.
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  124

  social retard

  by MerryMagdalene in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

  it really is painful and scary for me.

  i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

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  Crumpet

  Jez - all I can say is lucky you! I genuinely can count on one hand the number of social times I went to from the age of 10 when I was removed from school to the age of 16 when I was disfellowshipped. Our congregation did not have regular get togethers in fact they were discouraged because unless mature elders were there we might get debauched. And perhaps if I knew anybody who wasnt a witness I could have had a life on the side but as it was my parents decided to home school me because they were afraid of the worldly influence, so I had no non JW friends either.
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  10

  Do You Have To Believe In God To Pray?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  or does prayer sometimes help us communicate with our own subconscious mind?.

  or maybe we're just acknowledging the power of the universe as a whole?.

  englishman.

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  Crumpet

  Well is that really prayer - isn't it just talking to yourself?
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  124

  social retard

  by MerryMagdalene in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

  it really is painful and scary for me.

  i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

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  Crumpet

  Merrymags - what a spot on way to view this. I knew that being marked throughout my teens as well as not being at school and therefore never interacting with anyone as a JW had made me oddly retarded socially, but I never made the connection between how everything was scripted.

  I find it very hard to talk to people - I come across as really stupid because without having time to prepare what I want to say I can't think that quickly. God I am embarrassed to admit this because I have just realised how weird it is but I still write down topics for conversation on a slip of paper to take with me if I have to go out and see friends. I even do this with my boyfriend and his parents!
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  13

  t.i.j.k.m.o. explained

  by tijkmo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my favourite band for a long time now is called marillion...not big in usa...bigger in uk and bigger still in europe...i'm sure that the songwriter had been through something similar to myself as many of the songs reflect the exact same feelings and frustrations as me..and many a night i would put on a cd and cry myself to sleep....one of my all time favourite lines in a song..which i wish id written is- when you list all the qualities that you despise..and you realise..you're describing yourself.... anyway on an album called-holidays in eden-(sic)..there is a song called-100 nights- and one verse reads this way:-.

  they invite me to their gatherings.

  in the finer parts or town.

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  Crumpet

  Liked the explanation - the story behind the name so to speak and interesting to hear more details of the story.

  I guess you knew the loving answer you would get from your mother on that one! Soooo predictable.

  So how did your gig go?
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  67

  Terri Schiavo petition on site

  by missy04 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was reading through the terrisfight.org site and ran across the section "how you can help".

  there is a petition to sign on the site to save terri.

  here is the link to it for those who want to sign it.

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  Crumpet

  Yes I'm not sure why starving the woman to death is considered more humane than keeping her alive. The humane thing would be lethal injection - but I am speaking from what I would personally want if I was in that situation.
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  14

  Neighbor: "I'm so glad you left the JW organization"

  by seattleniceguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i was out working in my yard the other day.

  i've met a lot of my neighbors that i didn't know recently, because as i'm working in the yard, they stop by to chat as they're walking the dog, etc.

  i'm really getting to know the neighborhood.

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  Crumpet

  We were taught to preach love thy neighbour but if love thy neighbour involved talking to them about subjects other than the bible, or inviting them round for a BBQ to discuss the footie over a few beers or anything social you were liable to get warned for your wordly association .!
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  14

  Neighbor: "I'm so glad you left the JW organization"

  by seattleniceguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i was out working in my yard the other day.

  i've met a lot of my neighbors that i didn't know recently, because as i'm working in the yard, they stop by to chat as they're walking the dog, etc.

  i'm really getting to know the neighborhood.

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  Crumpet

  nice guy

  over and over again I am hit by just how much more friendly and unconditionally loving people outside the JWs are! My b/f knows everyone on our street and goes out for curries regularly with three of the other similar aged dads. His daughter has more friends on our little road then I had the whole time I was growing up in all the congregations I attended put together.

  I, because I have grown up hiding from neighbours so I wouldnt have bad association haven't felt able to mix with the neighbours, but they are all really friendly and wave to me and say hi to me by name. So I'm guessing I should try and shake off some off my JW trained unfriendliness and get to know them!
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  34

  My story.....

  by jula71 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was born into the "truth", so it is pretty much to only life i have known.

  i have been studying the bible seriously since my teens, about 15+ years.

  then it hit me about 6 months ago, i?m not really studying the bible, but rather the wt publications.

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  Crumpet

  Hey welcome to the land where smurfs are not banished as satanic! Always a pleasure to find a free thinker!